I loved being a wife for 38 years. The obey part was not included in our vows but we both spent all of the marriage trying to make the other happy and it certainly worked for me. I will never marry again because marriage serves no legal purpose for me anymore. I would love to have that kind of relationship again but know it is unlikely.

I think the "love , honour and obey" thing has been mostly discontinued. Certainly in humanist weddings I have attended . It is more of a partnership these days.
I don't know about the US but in the UK many people are living together long term without getting married and it is often family or parental pressure that forces them to get married.

I have been married twice, and lived with one more guy. And I don’t want to do it again. I want my own home and my own bed to go to at the end of the day. I relish my privacy now, and I just can’t see myself ever marrying again.

That would be me. I look at this way: I have always been the wolf, but I tried to be a dog, but the domesticated life did not appeal to me. I was a lousy wife--hated cooking, picking up clothes, cleaning, etc. The whole domestic atmosphere was suffocating to me. I also did not like the idea of being attached to someone for the rest of my life. Now, I do miss my SO, and am grateful for the time I spent with him, but we weren't always together. And now that he's dead, I've had the chance to look back and appreciate the time spent with him. But I think my life was meant to not be married, and I just feel better that way.

Evidently "obey", seems to really rub people the wrong way.. ...Also, I must have ask the question really badly.......somehow missed completely, what women felt about their concept of being the "wife" and their "acceptance" of that role, as a life comitment.

I think very few women enjoy being wives. I certainly didn't. An equal partnership seems to be a difficult thing to achieve. And it is very hard to predict how long love will last. Seems strange to me now that women get married at all .

"Obey"does not mean the same as it did in king james time.

I knew I didn't want to be married long, so we agreed to 5 year negotiable periods at a time. We stayed together for 7 but should have walked away at 5.

"obey" is an outdated concept.

Though I don't feel the need anymore, I have nothing particular against marriage.

Ya wanna do it ? Do it.

The divorce after 33 years was Not my idea, but turns out to be the very best thing that ever happened to me!

I love being a partner in a working relationship. I'm not all that with the domestic duties, so appreciate help with the cooking and household chores, but the love, honor and RESECT (not obey!) is nice if the relationship is healthy. My marriage was not healthy. I got out.

I'm a wedding officiant, and my standard vows for couples don't include the word obey, but I use cherish, treasure and the like instead. Obey is a one way word - only one partner can be the obeyed and one is the obeyer. This is America. We don't do that here. Obeying the vows, is one thing, but obeying a spouse is another.

Most couples define their own marriage by their wedding vows. Most marriages are entered into for life, but if either partner is not living up to the agreed upon vows, then I consider it broken.

Honesty should be included in any marriage, I feel. When that honesty is broken, or any value agreed upon in the couple's vows, it's time to re-evaluate. Goes without saying, physical, emotional or verbal abuse should also free one from obeying the vows.

Obey has been dropped from the vows for generations

My late partner got to referring to ourselves as 'partners'. First it was to ally ourselves with her gay son and his partner. We also felt that the terms "my wife" or "my husband" sounded possessive. It should be a relationship based on equality.

Sometimes there are reasons for marriage as this is a contract and each partner may have benefits that could be shared.

I was legally married twice and common law for 10 years. I learned after my second that marriage has financial consequences and I am in a relationship with Dan for 9 months now with no thoughts of getting married.

I don't speak for women has a whole by any means, but most people are aware that wedding vows aren't carved in stone. My daughter wrote her own and didn't include that bullshit.