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I'm not really sure what category this would fit in. I suppose it is a bit random so we shall go with that.
Today, one of the tiny humans asked me why I was always happy. I was confused. I am not always happy. I feel all sorts of things throughout the day. I asked her "what do you mean?" She said "I mean you never get to sleep in, you have all this old people stuff to do, you hurt all the time... Why are you always happy?" I thought about it for quite a while. She isn't home from school yet, but I think I have some idea of what I will tell her now. I am not always happy. I feel anger and sadness and jealousy the same as anyone else. In fact, for years, decades to be honest, I was an extremely angry person. I was nervous, aggressive, and as sociable as a cactus at a cuddle convention.
I don't really know what made things so drastically different almost overnight. But I realized one day that I enjoyed tiny little things that I had forgotten about. Watching the night life go to sleep and the day life awaken as the suns glow lights up the sky, watching ants go about their work, seeing the gardens progress day by day.
I still get angry. I get sad and melancholy. But I pick my battles a bit more wisely now. I refocus my attention onto something that makes me happy if it isn't a battle that needs to be fought. I don't know, I think as I start getting older I find that I prefer to conserve my energy and staying upset takes a whole lot of energy...?

Byrd 7 Mar 28
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3 comments

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2

I think sharing our vulnerability and personal truth with little humans is just about the best one could do to make them good regular sized humans. It's heartwarming to hear that was your plan.

1

I know what you mean about making a decision to change your outlook, like you said, almost overnight. I realized that I was getting cynical and sarcastic with people. I didn't want to be that kind of person anymore. It is important to see the good where you can find it...some days are easier than others. Being kind isn't really so difficult and it can make a big difference to somebody's day. And I think we teach our children resilience when we show them how to work through tough times. But also to show that all feelings are valid...it's how we choose to act on our feelings that is important. And on the subject of forgiveness....it really is important to let go (if possible) of any negative, energy-zapping feelings that spill over into our work, family, and friendships.

1

very cool

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