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Is there a correlation between being a true atheist and abolishing the monogamous lifestyle? Do you think that an atheist is more or less likely to prefer polygamy?

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zesty 7 Apr 14
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41 comments

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1

A great many people who claim to be both monogamous and religious have sex with more than one person while supposedly in a monogamous relationship. You can't force a monogamous person into poly, and you can't force a poly person into monogamy. Atheists just tend to be more honest about it, I think.

1of5 Level 8 Apr 14, 2019

@Allamanda could be. Lots of people are very judgmental about it even without religion, though, just look around here.

@Allamanda what dishonesty? Poly couples are very honest about what they're doing. I can understand judging someone who says they're monogamous and isn't, if that's what you mean. Hell, I do that but I judge them as liers to themselves and their partner.

@Allamanda I think there's a lot of misunderstanding that leads to judgment from society as a whole, though. The supposed "ideal" relationship is pounded into us as being exclusive to each other, and people start out from the perspective of monogamy as being inherently "right" because of this.

@Allamanda Mormon is a one way street that's inherently misogynistic and religion based.

0

I find the whole poly thing very interesting, I would enjoy learning about it over a coffee.

it is living arrangments that confuse me the most, and etiquette.

From what I've seen, there's usually a primary couple and they each have a date night or such. A true triangle is pretty rare. Sometimes it's two married couples who swap, or variations on that theme. There are books and online groups and meet ups galore, and I think it's pretty rare to find happy people who have done this long term. But, the few who do, also don't come to meet ups or write books, because they know their way is not the only way.

1

I just know monogamy is what I want and works for me. Handling and getting along with just one other person is daunting enough. I guess I also prefer the security of monogamy over sexual variety. Everybody's different.

3

That seems like an incredibly odd question?
Like the Religitards that like to imply that one can't have a moral compass without the fear of God!
Utterly Ridiculous!...

So i find the premise of your question to be highly flawed. Unless again your view is that an Atheist must just automatically not be capable of monogamy/commitment without some kind of religion?

@Marcel3405 Exactly. 🙏🙏🙏 🤣🤣🤣

1

How come there are so many more males in polygamy than females?

Maybe because the men are always looking for that hot bi babe.

Most of the functions I've been to specifically ban single men because of that.

Patriarchy and perception.

@kiramea I have friends that are into polly and I can tell you that there are no hot babes there, and the men are no better. Just a lot of sorry looking individuals that to me seem to be desperate.

@Jolanta I have always been in poly relationships. I can't even count how many men have asked me at gatherings if I would have sex with their wife while they watch (and I don't consider myself hot).

It's not all men. I should have clarified that. It is enough men to where I stopped going to all poly gatherings because I felt like I was in a swing situation (for those that are not familiar, there is a difference between the two).

@kiramea I do know the difference between those two. Tell how come that you have always been in poly relationships?

@Jolanta I personally believe that you can be in love with more than one person at a time. With that said, I don't usually date others but I want to have that option if I find someone I would like to know better.

@kiramea One always have the option whether one is in monogamous or poly relationships. It is just a matter of what level one is talking about.

1

When you refer to polygamy, do you also include polyandry?

2

The 2 questions are not really related.
Correlation does not equal causation.

Not always.

2

My disbelief in deities has nothing to do with my feelings toward faithful monogamy. Wanting to be someone's one and only isn't a religious or non-religious issue. At least, not for me.

0

Most of the people I knew that was into poly relationships were religious. I have no clue how they rectified it within their religion since I never asked.

Also (though this wasn't asked), most of the people I knew that were into BDSM were also religious.

2

One thing has nothing to do with the other!! Odd question!

was thinking the same thing.

@Marcel3405 which is more or less the same 🙂

1

As a atheist, we do not care about any "thou shalt not"s BUT I think it is really preference.

0

That's called Mormon.

0

I read that there is a correlation between non-monogamy and intelligence. And atheists are generally more intelligent, and educated.

Esther Perel's book, "The State of Affairs," provides some interesting bits of the history and changes of monogamy.

1

The west has essentially a serial monogamy structure. Hence, a form of polyamorousness for all.

2

WTF is a true athiest?

@Shouldbefishing I know that’s the fallacy that doings to my mind when I see that kind of language.

@Shouldbefishing I think we both agree there’s not a good answer to that.

2

Polygamy is different than polyamory.

1

Just because atheists are in principle freethinkers and more free in principle to diverge from societal norms without concepts like "sin" in the way, doesn't mean we suddenly are polyamorous or polygamous (or licentious, or dishonest, or unfaithful, or whatever).

Personally I find serial monogamy difficult and frustrating enough to navigate without complicating matters further than they already are. It is a practical matter, and me not seeing any percentage in polyamory. Has nothing to do with my lack of beliefs in deities.

0

What does one thing got to do with the other?..... why do you think there is a correlation?

0

maybe in a few generations but maybe not. will be interesting to see

0

I was an atheist for 25 years before trying polyamory. I reached a point where I decided that serial monogamy really hadn't worked for me and decided to try something different. So far it's been good for me except for those times when you get really into someone and get rejected because they just are not wired for or accepting of polyamory.

5

Your question smacks of the idiotic belief that atheists have no ethics or morals.

0

An atheist is more freely able to decide for themselves what life they want, monogamy, polygamy, etc. More what defines those positions resides in the society as a whole, and its attitudes towards interpersonal relationships.

3

I've been a nonbeliever since I was a child but as an adult I am always monogamous. It's a preference on my part -- I put not judgment on those who choose to live otherwise. I simply cannot invest myself in more than one person at a time. And I doubt I'd be willing or able to share.

0

We are more open minded about desires of humanity. I have no problem with polygamy.

1

"Abolishing" anything sounds iffy. I think people are more likely to live and let live, without religion to teach them to be judgmental.

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