Can’t say that I know what you’re going through (I’ve only told one family member, who probably shares the same beliefs that I do), but I will say that you’re not alone. If it’s any consolation, many of us here are here for you, and would go have lunch with you.

I've had similar experiences. Just show up when you want. You might wait or be late but you can still participate.

It's cruel of them to freeze you out because you are an atheist.

Shame on them. It's not your fault.

That is sad blackmail...? It must have hurt a bit

Yeah I get left out of Sunday dinners and visits to see my grandma fairly frequently after church too, although they aren’t as direct about it. It would be nice to go with em if I could catch a ride but whatever. If they wanna choose church family over real family that’s fine. My mom used to say “blood is thicker than water” to guilt me into family loyalty. The actual saying when completed is quite the opposite, “the blood of oath/covenant is thicker than the water of birth” ...Meaning the family bonds you choose are greater than the one you’re born with.

Time to begin venturing out on your own, and in the end, you’ll be stronger than any or all of them. They’re forcing you to seek an outside family, do it. You can pick your friends, and your mentors.

Many have suffered this fate, and would treat you like a son or brother, perhaps giving more to you than your bio-family did or could. Let it be a motivator, a breaking of the chains.. Their loss ~

Oh for christ sake, how fucking petty can they get......for sure they are "children" of god.

Just nasty. I hope that was the only incident. Now they will wondering, "why does Greg hardly ever come to visit?"

The immaturity of the over self righteous. I am so sorry.

Ignore them

Oof, well isn’t that some childish bullshit.
I’d call them out on that.

I’d be livid

Do you really want to eat with people who obviously don't want you there?

I'm sorry for you, but they suck!

That SUCKS 110% in my opinion.
They seem to have conveniently forgotten about the " Do unto others as you have them do unto you" bit as well as the " Judge not lest you too be judged," don't you think?
With family/friends like that you definitely DO NOT need ENEMIES and that is ONE of the reasons why I turned my back on my 3 remaining siblings.

Seems rather nasty of your family members. I guess you could have called the church yourself to ask.

Are you saying that nobody at all will spill the beans?

Well I don't know who the "they" is who wouldn't tell you the time. But if it were me, I would simply not go. But that is just me. If they refuse to accept my beliefs I refuse to respect theirs.

That should tell you must be doing something right.

But please forgive them for they do not what they are doing.

I would have replied "You don't know either?"

Was this universal or just one family member. Are you welcome or shunned. Not telling you the time sounds spiteful and petty. Family dynamics are a minefield you can blow it up or go around. I don't go where I am not invited nor stay where I am not welcome, however if I am invited and welcome with the exception of one or two people I ignore them. Good luck

It's at times like this, when I'm confused and unsure what the answer is, that I ask myself "What would Jesus do?" then I do the opposite of whatever that is.

Try it next time a situation like this arises.

Arrive at the church when the services are over and follow them.

I would ask your brother where and when. Tell him you'd love to help him celebrate, but you're not going to go to church to do so. It's a graduation celebration, after all, not the second coming of Christ.

Ask your brother if he would like your appearance at the restaurant. If he continues to stonewall and holdout, you have your answer. Decide accordingly.

Wow, sorry your family decided to be so judgmental. Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's. Give your family respect because they are your family, and then go on with your own life. And generally church service last about an hour. So figure in transit time to and from church, and get to the restaurant by that calculation.

Well that was a dick move. Blow it off for your brother's sake, and text them to text you back when they get there. If they don't do it, go to a bar.