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Who here has dealt with depression from a firsthand experience?

VineetHonkan 7 May 5
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Get some professional help. It is available in Canada.

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I have Bipolar disorder mixed state. Its a real PITA to deal with. I am constantly filled withs self doubt, and low self esteem. Add to that a mania that runs as the same time it ripps my emotions in two. Cannabis has helped me though.

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Most of my adult life and I am 60. What would you like to know? Mine got worse during my late wife's dementia and then even worse the longer I was widowed, having no luck with online dating, and getting less support from friends than I received when my wife was alive and suffering dementia. Having little hope now about ever having someone to date or be a partner with is the main thing making it so bad right now. Also, during this decade, I developed a heart condition, lost my mother, and am about to lose my father. So in the last nine years or so, my stressors have been off the charts. Yours sounds like a combo of brain damage, social isolation, and employment struggles. Hope you are able to find help for all those areas of causation and stress.

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I'm sorry and genuinely surprised to hear that Sticks, but you are still the man to me....you and Deiter. I admire the hell out of both of you.

@TomMcGiverin Thanks. That is very nice of you to say. It was in the 90's. I was in the hospital for a month. I weighed 110 lbs. I lost a band, a small business l ran out of my house, and my wife. I was on antidepressants for two years. I'm feeling much better now. 🙂

1

Clinical depression is an illness which needs to be diagnosed and treated by a medical practitioner. Have you been diagnosed as clinically depressed? It sounds to me more as if you have a low level depression related to social problems. Have you considered that you might be on the autism spectrum? Since you live in Canada you should have access to good medical care without too much problem. Getting a proper diagnosis and help could lead to a much happier and fulfilling life! We want to help on this site but I don't think many of us are medical professionals .

I don't think I have autism. After my car accident I did suffer brain damage (which explains why I had to relearn everything...keep in mind this accident occurred when I was 10) for which I had a lot of MRIs and brain scans done. There was scarring of brain tissue found, which indicated possibility and occurrence of epilepsy in the past, but it was many years ago. But as you say you may be right, I might not have depression if it's a self diagnosis.

Well, you're right about the clinic depression...it might be that I have low self esteem...

You would think so wouldn't you? But our shitty con governments made deep cuts to mental healthcare in the 80s and 90s and any appointments are NOT covered by socialized healthcare. At least that is the case in Ontario. And with this new con govt even more cuts and waiting lists to see subsidized mental health specialists and/or psychiatrists. IF you are lucky enough to have benefits through your job, then you get limited sessions covered.

@demifeministgal It sounds as if it may be like the UK where access to treatment depends very much on where you live and how stretched your local health authority is. The big cities are often the worst areas

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I ask this question not to make fun but to learn...my depression began in the 90s after my car accident. My mom was dead, I lacked the ability to make friends, I had to re learn everything to try to fit in (paying attention, looking at the speaker while they speak etc). And then when I went to high school I had very few friends, my social life was very little and I went into my imagination for friends. I graduated I had very little in the way of proper social skills (my ss was basically that of a child, which is why I post odd sometimes insulting things, though that is not their intent). I'm 40 now, and despite obtaining a bachelors degree in kinesiology my only job I got after my degree was as a warehouse employee...so that's my depression story.

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I was depressed all through my childhood. A a teen I left my parents religion and things gradually improved.

0

Fairly frequent

2

Just about every day. And now I'm running out of meds because I lost my health insurance.

Carin Level 8 May 6, 2019
3

My gregarious, bipolar brother is a genius with a photographic memory. Lee tried committing suicide three times; the first time at age 16.

Lee refuses medication. "I'm so smart, I can figure out my problems," he boasted.

My mother's fear was burying Lee next to my father.

Interesting. I really hope he gets better...

@VineetHonkan

Bipolar is a lifelong disorder.

@ToolGuy

Each person is unique: lifestyle, feelings, intelligence, genetics, environment, how their system reacts to different medications, etc.

1

Yes, diagnosed about 15 years ago. I used to believe it was something you can shake of with positive thinking but mine (and I think most) is chemical. Meds work for me, 1 x 50mg Zoloft a day keeps Churchill’s black dog at bay.

I hope the meds help you...

@VineetHonkan Thanks, yes not a problem there.

2

I'd say most of us. I suspect a lot of depression stems from clashing gender hormones and since so many agnostics are high IQ, and studies show that most creative, high IQ people are androgynous, there are a lot of mixed gender hormones involved.

I'm a partial transmale and have always had a high testosterone level, despite being a bio female. Growing up, I felt out of sync with female gender expectations, bewildered, trying to act my part by observation of my cis female relatives and friends.

When I reached puberty, when female hormones ramped up, the ensuing hormone clash caused painful feelings of loneliness and depression. I was able to brush it off by staying busy with my horses and fun activities, I was popular and had a happy life, but at menopause, when my female hormone levels dropped, I started having panic attacks and feeling depressed, so took supplemental herbs to balance my hormones.

These days, I take 5-htp, cho-wa tea, and derris scandens, and take early morning walks, which I used to do to stop depression. But since I got cancer, I also take cannabis oil and CBD oil to treat it, and since both of them balance hormones, I don't really need anything else for mood stabilization.

I hope you get better...

I'm getting a more nuanced understanding of cis-gender or not from reading your posts. Very helpful... Sounds like it's possible to be straight but not cis? It's all a new concept to me.

@Carin Those definitions are based on the false assumption that people are two genders. Instead, everyone is on a gender sliding scale, as well as sliding scales for gender identity and sexual orientation. Cis people identify with their birth gender, but can be any sexual orientation.

A married transgender man living as a hetero man, can transition to female, while staying married, and suddenly his marriage will be considered "lesbian," even though they are the same people. That happened with one of my high school friends.

@birdingnut OK I am still struggling with "cis" then...thought that cis was straight etc. & conforming to their birth gender (assuming not intersex at birth) but no?

@Carin From Wikipedia: Cisgender (sometimes cissexual, often abbreviated to simply cis) is a term for people whose gender identity matches the sex that they were assigned at birth. For example, someone who identifies as a woman and was assigned female at birth is a cisgender woman.

@birdingnut So nothing to do with gay or straight? Thanks for clearing that up.

@Carin In 2014 I realized I'm a partial transmale and gender fluid, also demisexual. I had to figure out what all that meant. Like most people, I just thought everyone felt the way I did, but they were brave and didn't mention it. A Thai muscle relaxant herb, derris scandens stablized my hormones so I could accept my female side and feel like a blended, though androgynous, person, and got rid of gender dysphoria.

1

Probably everyone. But as far as "dealing with it" meaning "needing professional advice or care", yes, I see a therapist for my depression issues (along with anxiety and anger) all connected to work. It's due to PTSD from my years in Corrections, and probably not helped much by my divorce (there's not a clear cause & effect relationship there; the stress contributed to my troubles at home, which contributed to the stress).

Short answer- "Yo" (raises hand)

0

my first hand experience I was 10 I think and it was at my dad's house over his weekend. I left the mess on one of his guest bedroom pillows. it made me feel good though. I wasn't depressed from it.

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