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I've done this enough to think I have a serious problem.

Yesterday I was helping raise funds by selling merchandise at a stand at the Indy 500. Whilst there I met many wonderful people from around the world. One young lady from Sheffield, but living in London caught my eye and so I gave her a couple honest compliments and she did so in return even going so far as to say I was her favorite American. I was, as pointed out to me by my friends, oblivious to my missed oportunity to find out more by asking for her number. Of course now I'm kicking myself for at least not recognising or taking that chance find out how blue her eyes really are. Anya if you're out there Oy from your Favorite American, you're right I'm better than Tom Hanks. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Don't know why my friends waited till much later to nudge me.

So this isn't an isolated incident for me. Clearly this has happened more times than I even know. Usually gorgeous women too, not sure if its my own self confidence or total oblivion, but yeah I have a problem.

I would love to hear stories of others who also have/had this problem. Thanks in advance for the stories, comments, and likes.

I know the onus to ask for contact info; in a hetero relationship, is on the guy, but why don't you ladies also take that step?

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cimoore34 7 May 27
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10 comments

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Your friends were probably stood there and thinking 'just how stupid is he!!!!!'

Yes, yes they did then I helped them by showing them examples of other women I was oblivious to.

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In the future, try to keep in mind that you lose nothing by asking and you lose everything by not asking.

Agreed, just have to train my brain to pick up on those clues. I donโ€™t mind taking that chance if I recognize the opening.

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Tough one I Havnt dated in so long I am clumsy and clueless just hope I don't scare off someone I like so I cross fingers and take a leap of Faith

bobwjr Level 10 May 28, 2019

Funny how later in life the same feelings of rejection, giddyness, shyness, awkwardness, etc. are there as when we were teens...but I think time is against us, so we have nothing to lose by going for it...also, I think as we get older, less is surprising and we tolerate less crap and yet let more it run off our backs...it is freeing and yet still intimidating.

@thinktwice has some good points, I would add that we can get set in our own ways and may makes us willing to accept others or even fear others not accepting us. We just have to get over ourselves yet have confidence enough to jump.

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My attitude has always been to jump off the cliff...you might land on rocks but you might also land on soft grass. I think it can go both ways...it is scary for men and women, so the braver one needs to step up.

Just be sure the cliff is not too high...you have a greater chance of being turned down if the person is in a relationship, if gay, etc. But, for the most part, I don't think it hurts to be respectful and dip in your toe...

Good luck to you!

Agree

Agree. Funny saying I use to have as a paratrooper was that it was easier jumping out of the plane than asking someone out; because the ground wonโ€™t reject you. Lol

Thanks for the response, may your bravery hold.

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Having married too young, I got good at ..avoiding temptation, didnโ€™t need it. But after 30 years of ..fending off opportunities โ€ฆ I wonder if Iโ€™ve not lost the ability to take them, now that Iโ€™m a freebird..

Those obviously interested are ..generally less than attractive, to me. It always seems to be the ones who ..or where we both become somewhat nervous, afraid to make โ€˜the first move.โ€™ Yes, the ones who leave you wondering, and wantingโ€ฆ

Living in a small pool doesn't help. But, itโ€™s so full of natural beauty and cultural interests that Iโ€™m easily distracted ๐Ÿ™‚ I get it, though. Good question ~

Varn Level 8 May 28, 2019
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We have been conditioned not to.

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There's nothing wrong with expressing interest...politely! "I find you so interesting...would you have a coffee with me sometime, so I can get acquainted with you?"

If she turns you down...don't take it personally! She might have a relationship going, etc.

A really wise friend of mine said..."Try to befriend everyone you meet! Even if only ten percent of them ''warm'' to you...you're ahead." And there you go!

I definitely believe in making friends of most people I meet. I would rather create that nicer rapport and make people feel at ease.
In this and previous cases the warmth was there and according to my friends she was open to me asking, but as usual I missed the cue to do so.
Maybe Iโ€™ll learn one day.

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I'm not the flirtacious type , don't wear makeup or jewerly , or sexy cloths , but if/when i randomly talk with a man , the response I normally get is , "Oh , I'm married ," or ," I have a girl friend ."

Itโ€™s good that you make the attempt. The old adage the good ones are taken or looking for the same gender youโ€™re looking for, but at some point someone had to ask the good ones too.

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While hiking, I run across men hiking alone. We both love hiking and are fit. I flirt and chat, and we part.

I missed a few chances while hiking. Karen, my hiking partner said:

"It's clear he was taken with you."

"He only talked to you."

"He stopped his car to talk with you."

"He's probably married or has a girlfriend," I replied.

Missed my chance.

sometimes we get conditioned to think theyโ€™re just being nice because of the situation, but we should ask. Yes Iโ€™m better at giving than following my own advice, lol. It would also be helpful if friends would let us know in the moment to help us out right?

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I ask. I think it scares guys though, ha ha! They need to not be so ridiculous and take a chance

Remi Level 7 May 27, 2019

I think the old adage is they're just as afraid of you as you are of them, or something like that. Lol

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