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Rant: Not afraid to say that I've been living with depressing for quite some time now. With that said, seems like the more I reach out to express how I am feeling with friends and family...all I receive is a "I'll pray for you" or "You're in my prayers"..This has been really frustrating lately. I cracked the other day and told my sister, who said she'll pray for me, that I was agnostic, that i knew she meant well, but that I need people to check on me..talk to me, not "pray for me". Of course she responded with "we all need pray..the whole world needs it..especially with everything thats going on" I just don't get it. Why can't people speak from their hearts?? I do..Throwing out cliche quotes in relation to the bible does nothing for me or many people living with depression. Makes me want to keep all those feelings to myself. It just seems so lazy and passive. I would never "pray" for someone, then go about my life while that person is suffering. I'd try to be there any way I possibly could.

Domination101 4 June 8
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1

Good rant! First I would suggest a clinical diagnosis from your GP who will probably prescribe medication. Counselling or psychotherapy could be good depending upon your circumstances but none of these interventions will hurt, unlike the unbidden declaration of prayer. I can imagine your frustration which doesn’t help your condition.

If you want to talk anything out you are welcome to message me for a chat and I promise not to pray for you!

Much appreciated!!

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Depression is hard to live with, both for you and the people around you. Keep reaching out to your friends and family and telling that you need more than their prayers. Who knows, you might eventually get through to them. They may feel that they don't know how to deal with your depression and use the prayer thing as a way out, so keep telling them what you really need and perhaps you will get more of it. I hope you are getting professional help, but it might be useful to make contact with one of the 'talk-lines'. if you go to the 'Mental Health Group' the numbers are there. I hope you feel better soon - reaching out is a good sign!

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Prayers won't help see a psychiatrist

bobwjr Level 10 June 9, 2019
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I'm sorry, I'm pretty sure I don't understand depression because I'm not a professional or someone that knows they have had that experience.

The people in my family and friends circle that have experienced it seem to be disinterested in most things. I think your frustration with your sister is probably a good sign. I don't pray but I truly wish you a full recovery and hope you find effective help.

I try to consider thoughts and prayers as hopes and wishes which caring people always have for those they care about.

I Hope You Dance With Joy soon.

Thank you!

1

It’s difficult, even scary to give advice to someone with depression. I’ve tried, and, experienced it myself. Advising you to seek professional treatment is likely the best first response. Sought that once myself ..though found it such a bureaucratic mess I backed away ..then slogged on alone..

Some don’t appear to acknowledge depression as a realistic response to modern life, they pretend it isn’t there. They behave as though listening to what’s got someone else down might take them down, too. Or, if they gave you their best advice, and ‘something tragic’ happened ...they would feel responsible..

I’d once ‘given my best advice’ to get through depression on this site - then been instantly criticized for doing so! Obviously, some don’t just mistrust their own advice, they mistrust that of others.

Personally, though apparently closer than not to a baseline depression, mine turned out to be, as I’d concluded, situational. Slogged through the ‘situation,’ things changed, and I slowly moved ahead ..focusing on what it took to get to another place, then emerging in that place. Been feeling ..amazingly well, if at times wondering what could have taken me so far down..?

Friends are a mixed lot, family too. Many would not have been surprised if I hadn’t made it, myself included. Relieved, even impressed, they are no doubt thankful they no longer feel the need to give me their best advice for navigating life, a life that at times ..is all they can handle.

Fortunately, family and friends did not include the religious. But even minus the religion, the scattered advice I got was rarely helpful. Mostly showing that they cared, but hurt by the fact there was little if anything they could do. It is interesting to think back on whose advice was ‘best.’ With me, it was some that made me angry, feel as though I were being attacked ...though turned out to be the most accurate. Had me thinking - your best friends are the ones who dare tell you what you least want to hear.

If any prayed, they kept it to themselves, and it wasn’t anyone’s prayers that got me through.. I have given a lot of thought as to how I’d describe to someone in my prior state of mind the ..richness and beauty of life ‘on the other side.’ The other side of depression, that is. Near impossible to imagine it from the dark side, as it seemed I could no longer relate to happiness..

One thought I’d had in the depth of it was, ‘dig this shit!’ - ‘how much worse can it get?’ Sometimes I’d laugh with irony … whatever moves you ahead.. It’s like ..what it takes to get through lies so deep within us, nobody can access it, maybe we can’t even recognize it. But I think it’s there, in everyone. I do know one thing - I’d gotten far more from those honestly telling me ‘they don’t know what they can do’ -- than anyone telling me they’d ‘pray for me.’ You’re right.

Trudge ahead. Force help if necessary. And perhaps take one guys word ..it’s worth it.

Varn Level 8 June 9, 2019

@Ms_McStevenEach bout of situational depression is compounded by the previous ones….” ..didn’t need to learn that 😉 It’s almost as though I’ve stopped celebrating ..stuff deserving of celebration ..as it won’t be long before ..shit happens.

Find myself ‘celebrating’ the ordinary stuff, seasonal changes, nature ..another day of livin. Though, recently bought me a motorcycle - fuck! But it’s that ‘baseline’ depression I’ll tend to bounce off. Though, with experience - tend to see coming ..unlike before.

@Ms_McSteven My ‘posting’ during the depth of my depression was within a middle school working with ‘higher functioning disabled children.’ May have saved my life… after a long, lonesome, contemplative drive to work (passing a road I’d consider driving up and not out) ..I’d arrive to a classroom where I’d receive a consistent series of ‘low fives’ on the way to stash my lunch. The tears of sorrow I’d fight as quickly became those of joy.

Yes ..so much is simply perspective….

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I’m sorry, that really sucks. My best friend has been in a prolonged period of depression and I am trying to be there for her. I am super busy but try to at least make sure I text her every day to see how she’s doing and chat a little.
It sounds like you asked for what you need. Keep trying. “I don’t need you to pray, I need you to... [insert specific action here]” if she doesn’t get it, you may eventually decide to stop asking. I am hoping you are seeing a professional about medication and/or therapy, have people to support you who are willing to give you the support you need, and have advice about self-care. Also use this community. We are here for you!

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I suggest that you try consuming full spectrum CBD extract. Alternately, you can contact me and I can send you some activated hemp flower.

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