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15 5

HEAVEN IN A NUTSHELL --

So to condense the myriad replies from Xians when I asked them what they think Heaven is like we have the following noteworthy ideas.

  • In Heaven you can fly.
  • In Heaven food is made of light. Since food is made of light digestion and passing waste do not take place. and there are no calories or fat to worry about so you can eat as much as you want.
  • Time does not apply and is not felt.
  • Heaven is a massive city -- 1500 miles square -- with housing available for all who reside there.
  • People will continue to develop new technologies. This means computers, cars, cameras, electric guitars, and so on, all the stuff we have here will be available there.
  • You will be deliriously happy all the time; laughing and bursting with joy.
  • There is no illness or disability. All such afflictions will be healed upon entry. Y'know, by magic.

There was some disagreement on whether housing will take the form of a commune or mansions for everyone but whatever the housing is, it'll be perfect and free of mold or termites because there is nothing bad in Heaven.

There was also disagreement whether the soul is a spirit being or a duplicate organic body but renewed to perfection. I see many problems with this idea; if food is made of light and has no nutritional value, won't an organic soul starve? Also, how would a second body exist within each person? Wouldn't we all weigh twice as much? Let's say the soul is a spirit being while we're alive then made organic through the magic of GOD after death. Why bother with that? An organic soul would have to eat, sleep, pee, etc... What's the point? These issues were not addressed.

There was no explanation on who manufactures all the material stuff Heaven will have or why anyone would need to consume illusory food but one thing is clear; religion makes people believe really stupid shit.

All this is available for reading by clicking on the link I posted previously. It's mind-boggling stuff.

Sgt_Spanky 8 July 5
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15 comments

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0

My mother said in heaven you can do whatever you want, whenever you want. No limitations.
It'd be like the holideck (sic?) in Next Generation...most of the time you're in heaven proper, having a great time hanging out with Jesus and the saints, angels, and other heaven-dwellers being your standard happy-beyond-off-the-charts-ecstatic, or for a change of pace you can go off to the heaven-a-deck and
play basketball,
golf,
have sex (best ever),
fish,
you name it.
If you get bored with THAT, you could
take a vacation to earth or some other god-forsaken planet to see how damn lucky you have it,
OR to supercharge your gratitude even more you could even
go to hell on a day pass.
If that didn't do the trick, you could
complain directly to Jesus;
HE'D think of something.

And how do you, as an agnostic, now feel about your mother's ideas?

@Sgt_Spanky Those are my humorous, fanciful ideas, silly-willy. I don't BELIEVE it! My mother watches Catholic TV all day. I have to go visit her next week and it's going to drive me CRAZY! But I let her wallow in her self-delusion....no choice.

0

One late entry was just posted that claims Heaven is broken into levels. Each level prepares you for the next level until the soul achieves "Oneness" wherein the soul loses its individual identity and becomes a component of God.

It sounds a lot like being assimilated into the Borg Collective (a Star Trek reference you can look up) and, I believe, proof they're just making this stuff up based on whatever influences appeal to them. I'm thinking this guy is a Star Trek fan.

Regardless, it's just another claim pulled out of a Xian's ass and offered as reality.

0

Very odd that there are some strong and very specific expectations.

I prefer this notion:
Acording to OPM - Heaven is a Halfpipe. -One of my favorite (skater) songs:

I hope you enjoy too. 🙂

1

All seem to be symptoms of ignorance. Education will not remove it, only enlightenment will. Enlightenment is understanding in your heart, just not thinking you have understood.

It's not even enlightenment they need but to simply accept reality even if they don't like it.

@Sgt_Spanky
I hope you know that the debate is about what is the reality. You are not asking a child to listen. This is a group of old wood stubborn grown ups.

3

Wow! They have a vivid imagination. It's curiously specific.

I agree completely.

1

EVERY religion that I have examined with a logical point of view, turned out to have very little, if any, logic in them! 72 virgins? Do those clowns really believe that crap? Eternal bliss and happiness, with nothing creative to do for eternity? BORRRING!! Just the slightest little bit of logical thought injected into any of them blows them to tiny pieces!
Religions are for people who are too stupid to see truth when it is put right in front of them, only inches from their nose. It's an ego thing, also, and like Samuel Clemens said, "It's easier to fool a man, than to convince him that he has been fooled!"

 Randy
1

What I don't understand is why it seems the more ridiculous the belief, the more and more deeply it is believed, instead of the opposite. I mean, that's how it works for me... the more ridiculous it sounds, the less willing to even consider it I am... I get accused of being closed and narrow minded a lot. But I see it as being in touch with reality and unwilling to give equal thought to the ridiculous as I do to the important and truthful, and logical. Kinda the same way that I think anyone who wants to teach creationism in science classes is fucking dumb and wrong, and doesn't deserve equal time to push their obvious nonsense on others.

2

We always hear how freaking wonderful heaven is going to be. So why are believers so terrified to die and so distraught when a loved one dies? I would think they'd be eating all the fat, salt and sugar they want, never using sunscreen or seatbelts, skipping well checks and screenings, and getting into extreme sports like cliff diving!

dkp93 Level 8 July 5, 2019

You'd think so, wouldn't you? If they can fly and get free housing, and eat without restraint, and be happy beyond reason for all time, what's the freakin' problem with death? A terminal cancer diagnosis should be greeted with a "YES!"

1

Sorry for those believers, but the book of Revelation says that only 12,000 Jews each from the twelve different Israelite tribes will go to heaven. So how on earth did all the christian churches of the world made millions and millions believe that "we" all have a place in heaven and should pray and donate to get a ticket?

3

If I should die and wake up in heaven, the first thing I'll do is order a Coors Light. 😛

(Just kidding. When we die, we're dead. There is no heaven or hell.)

There's no calories in Heaven food, just order a regular beer. It's all made of light so a Coors Lite is literally a Coors Light.

This reminds me of a music video:

@JohnSchindler Good one! Love it! 😀

Cheers!

3

I really don't even try to logically understand their statements because it is a form of pretzel logic.

I'd call it straight outta their ass logic.

3

So many delusions.
So little time to laugh at them all.

What's really disturbing is that these people are allowed to operate freely
in society. They shouldn't be allowed to come into contact with children
or any kind of machinery.

I don't think they should reproduce either and pass that same gullible stupidity on to yet another generation who will then pass it on to the next, and so on, and so on...

@Sgt_Spanky Reproduction should definitely be prohibited, for sure.

@KKGator Where does Gawd stand on the question of nookie in heaven. If they can fly then surely they can diddle each other too.

@Sgt_Spanky I have no fucking idea.
😉

@KKGator Neither do they but I'm sure they'll just make something up anyway.

2

I like reading fiction...but this is too far out for me...lol...

I have a vivid imagination and some of the shit they came up with impressed me. There's no limit to how irrational they're willing to be and still believe it's real.

2

I must say I found great humor in this.

As did I which is why I shared it here. I figured many would.

3

If we are only spirit, why do some religions insist on keeping the earthly body intact at death? No autopsy, no organ donation, no cremation, etc. Nonsensical, since all bodies rot and return to dust. And what if you’re murdered? Or drown and rot in a river? What of your non intact body then?
That never made sense to me.
Besides, if their god is so powerful, he could reconstruct the dust particles, if he wanted to. He could prevent murder, war, genocide. It could be heaven all the time.
Delusion, wishful thinking.

"Delusion, wishful thinking" -- That's it exactly.

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