What's the point of pretending if you're being upfront about it?
Anyway, I think people pretend a lot of things to get what they want. Including "love".

I don't understand how one can be upfront and pretending at the same time?

How do you 'pretend' while being 'up front'?

Maybe I'm not understanding the question.
Pretending to love anyone is a deception.
Being up front about it is admitting to a lie, and
perpetuating it anyway.
None of that makes any sense to me.

Reminds me of the Clintons sham of a marriage a bit. Could never believe that Hillary actually forgave and still loved Bill after all the humiliation he put her thru. No doubt she stayed married to him and they both faked their continued marriage all for her political ambition and their shared hunger for power.....

And understand that my contempt for the Clintons, as well as all corporatist pols, is not because I am a conservative, which I am not, but because I am a socialist who hates all pols that are phony and serve the status quo.

oxymoron. if you're up front you're not pretending and if you're pretending you're not up front. so whether or not it's okay is moot; it's not possible.

g

I once loved a woman I believed loved me back but it turned out she just really, really wanted a baby. She broke my heart.

She didn't get one.

I can understand being in a relationship that is based on considerations other than romantic love; and there is nothing wrong with that, as long as everyone is being honest about it, and their intentions, and all involved are okay with it. And, I can understand enjoying being with someone, treating them with consideration and kindness and giving them your attention/time etc. but not being "in love" with them. But, I don't understand the need to pretend to love that person. If the person needs you to feel love for them, then they need to be with someone else if you cannot give them that. And, if it doesn't matter to that person, as long as you are good to them, why the need to feign love?

How can you be both up front and pretending? Role play is OK if both parties are agreed on the parameters, but otherwise, pretending to love someone will ultimately hurt them and prove you to be a jerk. Let’s assume you aren’t, and therefore you won’t pull one over on anyone

You are contradicting yourself...you can’t be both pretending and upfront. Pretence is deceit ....upfront is open and honest.

Why bother?

How can you pretend about something you've already revealed to be fake?

Sure sounds like a"Friend with Benefits" concept!!!

Loyalty, to me at least, is more important than love/lust.

Wow.. i honestly had to think about that one..

My gut reaction was no..
But as i thought about it.. and as long as the other person is fully consenting and happy with the situation.. then sure.. its ok .

Does that mean that it is ok to hate someone and never tell them that you do?

If the other is okay with it, why not?

So you told a person that you are pretending to love them? You say you pretend but are up front about it. I don't get it. If you are up front, doesn't that mean that you told the person you love them, but you really don't. Maybe I'm missing something here, but if it were me, I would never pretend to love someone if I didn't. It seems kind of mean to me.

I’ve read about this from the POV of a high-functioning psychopath. That is, someone who does not experience emotion or empathy in the way that neurotypical people do. We are talking about someone who behaves in socially acceptable ways, may even be pretty successful in their career, and sustains functional relationships. While they don’t necessarily experience “love” in the way that most people do, they can be a “loving” partner by understanding what their partner needs and responding to that. People do the best they can.

Huh? What a strange question.

You mean is it OK to act like you love someone as long as you tell that person that you are faking it? Sure... I guess.

You are ambiguous here.

mostly, it's a bogus question, y'all made some very reasonable comments. a post earlier set me to considering how some relationships seem like a magazine article. how love can be commercialized or utilized say to gain fortune or fame or political influence. seems to me like it's probably happening all the time.

Its ok to say 'I like you, but don't love you' ... that is being upfront and not pretending

Why on earth would you DO that? You're just talking heartbreak for someone.

It sounds fake and I would rather have authentic love than pretend love. That's me. Sounds like a recipe for heart break and suffering.