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Why do some men automatically think women should be flattered by cat calling, aggressive advances, and explicit inappropriate remarks on your body? Then when you tell them to please leave you alone, they blame it on "oh you must just be having a bad day" and get very offended. There is a difference between kind, nice, tasteful compliments; versus verbal harassment and being inappropriate.

vjohnson51 7 Oct 14
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17 comments

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0

i believe it is offensive

2

It seems that all men don't see and treat women the same way. Some treat them with gentleness and kindness. Some others see themselves as predators and see women as preys.

3

That's because a lot of men are clueless idiots. Just like a lot of women are also - I don't want to appear sexist or anything.

1of5 Level 8 Oct 15, 2019
0

They never learned during adolescence how to socialize with girls and women. They say we are all the same people we were in high school. But some of us are still the same people we were in JUNIOR high school!

0

I guess some were just raised that way. Im gen X a true latch key. I would be horrified to witness such a display in public.

0

Other men tell them so

3

Golden rule- treat others as you wish to be treated

2

Real men don't actually do that.

I always think that concept of "real men" is interesting. I assume it includes DNA, but what else?

@Burner Acting like a decent human being. Not letting our testosterone override our sensibilities.

0

Call me crazy, but I would guess that at some point in their life it either worked, or if they are with a group it is just showoff thing to prove they are the most "manly.' Watch the older TV shows and a lot of the movies and you find the brazen guy, the 'bad boy" often get's the girl in the end, so there is that. I have known lots of guys who I thought were kind of crass and blowhard, they seem to get dates. I tend not to and I like to think I have always been respectul, so it's confusing to males as well.

0

I can only speak for myself, and I do NOT think women are flattered by cat calls. I don't know why other guys do it. I also don't know why guys in a public bathroom spit into the urinal.

Spit in the urinal needs a yuck emoticon.

0

Is it fair to say that you do not talk for women in general and it is your individual opinion?

I would wager nearly all women have had the unpleasant catcall experience 🙄

@Remi
I have not done it ever in life but I have seen it many times in 4 countries so far. I can tell you that only in the U.S. I have seen women giving appreciative responses, in New York city especially.

Oooohhh, such wisdom......

@AnneWimsey
The fact does not feel good, does it?

@St-Sinner hey, there are gays & Hispanics for drump....the world is full of idiots

@AnneWimsey
They call us idiots, we call them idiots. The truth is somewhere in the middle.

@St-Sinner nope, they are idiots!

@MsHoliday
All are God's children. God made all in his image and he has a plan just for you.

@St-Sinner ohferpetessake, WTF, is this babbling?

@AnneWimsey
Just the truth M'm

3

Probably also got to do with the male display of prowess in a mating ritual displayed over millions of years of evolution by millions of varying species!

Shame they look pre-historic in their courtship behaviour!

0

We read that women are flattered and some even say thank you. Some women like it, while some don't. Isn't that true?

@vjohnson51
On New York's Fifth Avenue a voluptuous girl was walking in high heels on a side walk. I saw five construction workers sitting down on the sidewalk in a row commented.... Nice baby, you are juggling.

The girl just blushed and smiled.

Was this tasteful?

@St-Sinner maybe because she was taught to be polite? Or that this kind of behavior is acceptable? We need to teach our girls that they don't have to stand for this shit. When I was 16 some scuz grabbed my ass as I was passing him on the sidewalk. I was 16 and taught to respect adults and be polite. I just gave him a wtf look and kept walking. Was I supposed to be flattered by this encounter? Another time, I was waiting for a friend to pick me up and a car load of dudes was trying to get me into their car. Should I have been flattered?

@Remi
No in both cases you mentioned. Men also continue doing it because they perceive an acceptance from women.

@vjohnson51 yup, Howard Stern, a fountain of wisdom about women for sure....NOT!

@vjohnson51, @St-Sinner it was STUPID

@vjohnson51, @St-Sinner because she Chose to grow up voluptuous... when I worked around 20,000 men I was astonished to learn that big breasts=highly sexed. Riiiigggghhhht.

@AnneWimsey
I agree with you but please help me understand why a voluptuous woman would choose to wear an uplifting and pointed bra?

@St-Sinner once upon a time, (50's) it was all there was, literally.

@St-Sinner they do it because their buddies will unmercifully tease them if they do not, period. Assholes leading the weak......

@AnneWimsey
Wow, peer pressure there too?

@MsHoliday
How? Can I not have dreams?

@MsHoliday
You have no idea... I am very restrained here lol

@St-r men, it seems to me, are extraordinarily susceptible to peer pressure vs. their behavior towards women. They get tremendous blow-back if they do not join in whatever disrespectful nonsense goes on

@vjohnson51

What we like it to be and what it is are two different things. I do not like do pass comments on women's bodies and but I have seen tons of times that women have showed that they like it. I have seen women thanking for the comments. What you like it to be is different than what it is now.

Howard Sterm is a much loved and hated radio guy. His brand was don't be politically correct. His co-host was a woman. He said often that say what you want but don't be mean and nasty at heart. He relocated from New York to Los Angeles after he got a super lucrative satellite radio contract with millions of Dollars down payment.

He supported New York Governor candidate Pataki against the 3 term Governor Mario Cuomo. Stern was ranting against Cuomo on radio during the campaign. Pataki's wife came on the morning show once and thanked Stern after Pataki got elected. Stern's first line in return .... "You are welcome but please tell us, have you had sex with the governor elect yet?".... His audience went wild.

There are people who find this distasteful, offensive but the real, non-elite world is loves authenticity. Say It As Is. We progressives and elites hate how Trump talks but that is how real, ordinary people are in the real world. Trump is loved partly because people have been tired of how plastic, artificial, politically correct, non-doer, lip-service Congress has become.

Do you know what women in Paris said after the rise of MeToo movement in the U.S.?... "It is ridiculous.... Men have a right to hit on women, we want them to do that. A woman can say no."

Therefore, in conclusion the sense of right and wrong is not universal. It is relative to your education, your eliteness, upbringing, and POV. You thinking that something is wrong, dos not make it so. There are some universally wrong things - such as child sexual abuse, hitting elderly, rape. Cat Calling is not one.

I am not wrong. I just have a different opinion.

@AnneWimsey

You said..... "it seems to me, are extraordinarily susceptible to peer pressure vs. their behavior towards women. They get tremendous blow-back if they do not join in whatever disrespectful nonsense goes on."

Hmmm, But don't we all go through that and still make good decisions for ourselves? I can understand if that it happens in high school but it is hard for to understand that continues to happen in grown up years to today's modern times. A woman walking with a pointed bra with a voluptuous chest is a fully gown up woman to me. (Even writing this line made my knees knock)

Your point would be more understandable when men wore wigs and women wore tight corsets and squeezed the waists terrible to push up the chest in the Victorian times. Is the peer pressure in the society is so strong that it can prevent you from thinking what is right for your own good?

@vjohnson51

Trump is bad for many many things but he is good at many things as well. There are things Trump has done that most Democratic and Republican presidents did not do for decades.

Bad Things

  1. High Nepotism
  2. Appointing and promoting children in privileged government positions
  3. Lying
  4. Immorality
  5. Going around the rules
  6. Colluding with dictators and not supporting righteous causes around the world
  7. Possibly advancing selfish and private business interests using his offices
  8. Super narcissism
  9. Not standing up for Hong Kong protesters' rights
  10. Pretending to be a religious person - he was never religious
  11. Tax cuts to the rich

Good Things

  1. Strict and swift actions against illegal immigration
  2. Removing DACA protections
  3. His fight to get funding for the border wall
  4. Dropping out of Paris climate change accord
  5. Making NATO members to pay up their contributions
  6. Standing up to China's trade bullying and currency manipulation, not just whining
  7. Bold trade tariffs and making countries negotiate better trade agreements
  8. Taking away preferred trade country status - India for example
  9. Reducing ridiculous regulations
  10. A very effective campaigner and debater
  11. Not speaking politically correct

@St-Sinner good luck on the pointed bra, haven't been made since the 50's, except maybe for fetishists. And you know that probably 4 out of 6 cat-callers would not do it except for the 2 morons who will make their life hell if they do not, so quit playing dumb

@AnneWimsey
My observations are based on what I have seen, not what it should be. But I am educating myself. One day I want to write a book.

@St-Sinner "a woman can say no"????!!! You have not made the slightest effort to understand that many times a woman Cannot say no if she wants to keep her livelihood, get that job, etc!?!?!?? Which is why we Need the Me Too movement! Get your dumb-ass head out of your ass!

@AnneWimsey
We are a civilized world, I believe women have many recourses. I am going to argue that men are now worried about how the heck they should say or behave at work places. When a women comes into my office, I make sure I keep the door open... lol.. Women's helplessness is exaggerated. Men and women - both have to take appropriate actions in this world to look out for themselves. Plenty has been accomplished to give women rights and protections. "I could not complain because I was afraid".... is not an excuse.

@St-Sinner wow, so i guess taking the 3 kids & living in a shelter is nothing to be afraid of? Done much of it yourself? This is why men should STFU when they have Zero understanding of the problem.

@AnneWimsey
She made all 3 kids on her own, just happened? What decisions led to being in a shelter? Why she cannot have a job? What happened to finishing school? Why some people have more problems than others? Why am i Not in a shelter? Why nobody in my family, my extended family or my friends has ever been in a shelter for 5 generations? Why did we not have kids until we make ourselves competent and knew how to stand on own? Are suggesting I can do anything I want, I may do things that make me end up badly but it is till everybody else's responsibility?

When do we understand ourselves and what we do to change circumstances instead of blaming everybody else?

@St-Sinner if your boss makes sex a requisite for keeping her job, she should.....give in? Or quit? I have been faced with that choice, as have most women my age...not that we've talked about it, who would we talk to? You? No likely..........
I was lucky enough to be living at home with my family and one child after fleeing a highly abusive husband, so i walked. Many many others did not, could not.
And maybe "she" is a widow, or divorced, or never married, what difference does that make to anybody? About the same as asking what a rape victim was wearing, actually........

3

Because some men are insensitive jerks.

skado Level 9 Oct 14, 2019
2

There's no justification.
Historically it was worse in the 50's.
Not much help but that's all I have.

3

I don't, it's disrespectful and demeaning

bobwjr Level 10 Oct 14, 2019

@vjohnson51 my dad left when I was 11 had to be the man of the house with my mom and three sisters,so I know what that shit does have always been protective of women it's in my DNA

7

Since age 15 when I developed breasts, men have grabbed me, catcalled, kissed me against my will, and sexually harassed me. I have some PTSD.

Between the ages of 21 and 25, two male supervisors tried to rape me. At an insurance company and the Tacoma Family YMCA. Each man caught me alone in the office. Pinned me by the throat against the wall, using his weight and strength. Both times, when they let go with one hand to loosen their belt, I managed to break free and run. Never returned to the insurance company for my final paycheck because we worked alone.

"You look like a victim," Stuart, a man I met through online dating said in January 2019. I was appalled.

"I don't feel like a victim!" I replied. "I walk fast with good posture. Never look into my purse or at my phone outdoors. Never run at night."

"Because you are thin, you look easy to grab," Stuart replied.

This chilled me to my core.

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