Since you did not mention you can move your best bet is to find humanist grouos, ethical society or Unitarian congregations and drive to where they are.

Nice to virtually meet you. You're in Birmingham! An actual city. I know for a fact there are some sane people there; I interned there in grad school while working on my msw from U of Alabama. I worked in Mobile for 5 years after graduating. Life circumstances brought me to south Louisiana 20 years ago. I know personally that simply moving away is a lovely thought but sometimes not viable (I would be moving away from my teen son. Not gunna happen--not just yet, anyway.)
But you truly don't want some petty brainwashed Christian as a romantic partner, anyway. Maybe focus on forging social connections with likeminded people, be p-a-t-i-e-n-t, and dating opportunities can come.
I second GreatNani's suggestion to seek out freethinker type groups, even UU. They are out there. I used to attend the Tuscaloosa UU. It was heavily populated with university professors, who strangly enough like to use their brains. Now in Baton Rouge, I am part of a small local freethinker group.
Or, if you can, there's nothing wrong with moving to the West Coast.

Well all I can say is that growing up in London was never a problem as far as religion was concerned. In UK it is not such a big deal. I remember when I started senior school (aged 11) there was a guy who tried to convince us first years of a belief in a god but we all laughed at him and told his to sod off.he did continue but most (if not all ) just considered him a bit of a wanker and ignored him.So not having suffered at the hands of a lot of religious idiots (and I do mean idiots) I cannot fully empathise with you in your predicament. All I can do is offer my support in the hope that you can appreciate that the rest of the world isn't as gullible as the USA.

Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.

I understand feeling the way you do. It's difficult feeling disconnected from
people who clearly have no interest in accepting anyone different from them.
Especially as a kid. Growing up is hard enough.

Hopefully, you will be able to connect with like-minded others here.
There are many here who are looking for partners.
If nothing else, you can avail yourself of the community that's been created.

As someone who has also grown up in Alabama, I can tell you I completely understand. The only difference is that I was raised Baptist and it took my parents a long time to come to terms with my atheism. I'm lucky enough to have found a (very) small group of friends that not only accept me, but share in my beliefs. Just remember that one or two real friends are a lot better than 500 fake ones. Stay strong my fellow Alabamian

I understand.

I am going through it right now in Dallas

As soon as they see I am an atheist, I become the town leper. In a nutshell, I have been demonized by clergy because I don't put money in their collection plates.

The only thing keeping me here is my job. I wish I could go to live in a more secular place or even better, a country.

My wife of nearly 50 years was mildly religious when we met and were first married. It turned out she wasn't really religious just didn't realize you didn't have to believe. She didn't go to church just thought believing was what everybody did. Sounds silly but she just didn't put a high priority on it. I guess I was the proselytizer. She is now an agnostic/atheist. I'm more of a militant atheist and she helps keep me in check. I'll bet there are other women out there that are not really committed to religion even in your area. As to a LTR with an actual religious partner, couldn't happen with me.

I feel you pain. It is tough to live where most people are religious and you are not. But hang in there! As others have said, maybe consider a move, or at least travel outside that local more and try to meet people who may be of different belief systems. It will realy open you eyes, and who knows...One thing is for sure if you keep doing the same things every day... you will continue to get the same results...

I’m going through the same thing right now. A lot of good suggestions were made, but it doesn’t matter if you were in Alabama or not. One good suggestion might be the foreign approach, but sometimes that isn’t an option.

When it comes to dating, religion will come in the mix, because nobody wants to be with somebody who will “burn in hell.”

I’m older than you and I’m dealing with this. It’s kind of the reason I joined this website. That has been disappointing. All I can say is, there is someone for you, but it’s hard to find. Don’t give up.

There will be others who feel exactly like you do. See if there is anyone on this website who lives close to you. We do what we can to survive and when you were young that is what you did.

Maybe you don't want to hear this, but Alabama has some very cool places: The Alabama Music Hall Museum, Stax recording Studio and the only Coonhound Cemetary in the world. I know this because I visited your state. See photo of me with the most eastern Blues Trail marker.
Open yourself up to your environment and possibly someone will walk right into your world.

I'm in the same boat as you and at the same age. I can't tell you a recipe for grandeur but I can say it will never get better. I play the fake Christian myself when acting to pray in groups I protest by keeping my eyes open and my mouth shut (it's amazing how many doubters of religious BS spot you when you do). As far as meeting friends and dating all I can say is surround yourself with foreigners (they tend to be the best friends and can understand your struggle directly). All of my best friends I can speak openly about atheism or any other non traditional ideas are always from foreign countries.

Sometimes those from far away understand us immediately but those you love around because of the forced taught ignorance in this country are the most blind.

Being atheist in the US south can be very lonely. Every time I might me a new friend they ask you if you wanna join them for their Church group (cult). It's hard to explain to them that your not interested without offending them.

Also I would never announce my lack of beliefs to any group of these backwards mofos. Because then the witch Hunt begins. And they want your head on a pike.

Not to belittle you, but you're living in the wrong state. You need to move to a community that shares your same values and morals without always throwing religion in the mix (and down your throat). I recently moved from a god-fearing red county in Oregon to a liberal town in Washington and the load off my shoulders was unbelievable. I no longer feel I have to hide who I am. And no one here CARES "what" I am anyway! That's the best part.

You are so far from alone it isn't funny. Likely, those times you didn't stand up for yourself you weren't alone. There is the probability that everyone around you felt the same way. That is unlikely, but it is just as unlikely you were the only one.

You can move to a more progressive area, but you again would be doing what you did in the past. You wouldn't be standing up for yourself. You would also be leaving someone behind.

Secular isn't as fun as Santa Claus, or the contrived promises of a sky fairy. All it gives is the reality of Mother Nature.

As a sociologist my heart goes out to you. You are in a state where your constitution means little as far your rights to religious expression are concerned.
Try traveling and see what comes up.

That is ruff. I sure admire your parents, though. My ‘kids’ headed toward the cities, couldn’t stand the same crap in the rural county I raised them. They’d point out how, as an adult, I could pick my friends ... whereas they had to find theirs in school, as Atheists.

Personally, I relocated to the red end of a new ‘blue’ state. When traveling, cool people abound! Back to the blue ridge ..not so much. I’ve yet to venture to the deep south, actually been (seriously) warned against it..

I’d say ‘get,’ but then you’re the best thing that area’s got to show for itself! So why should you be run off or starved out because of their ignorance? As far as women, damn. Any college towns around? But find one, and will she want to raise children amid the same mentality..?

Yup, the very quality your state needs ..they’re edging out

So "Don't ask don't tell"?

Maybe it’s time to move on. Like Move to another state. Your head is in the right place but you’re living in the Bible Belt.
Take a sabbatical !

Although I am an atheist, I find a lot to enjoy at a seder, or services on the high holy days. Still I do not pretend to be praying, or to believe. It is easier for a Jew I think. There isn't that fire and brimstone you find in christianity. Still, in the responsive reading,, I leave out the word god. Now, I don't live in the bible belt. I'm not judging or even making a recommendation. I'm just saying how it is for me. Also social life, such as it is, does not revolve around the jewish community or any other religious group, and I don't go anywhere I don't want to go just to fit in. Again, my situation isn't the same as yours. I also am not looking for a lover as I live with my guy, who's jewish too, not religious but a believer in a vague way. He looks good in a kippah!

g

Very hard especially when deep in the bible belt

I came to Eufaula as an 18 year old pregnant bride. Culture Shock to the max!!!!!!
Why not move?

Welcome and good luck in your search.