indeed, nonetheless, finding the underlying reason suggests a person who has perhaps an inate proclivity for self-reflection and is actually searching for defects (for want)...certainly the minority of folks i've come across....(sound like a dick, just then)

@nightowl yes...another truth, maybe they are operating beyond our comprehesion? Lol

@Freedompath HA, there are days i have to work hard to think that way. you got lots of grace, freedompath. friend of bills, i presume?

@nightowl not really...am learning a little late in life...that I need all my energy, even that which I once used to control others or anything that my mind got hooked on...I now need all that energy to keep my own life going! Lol

yeah, i realize it's almost half a question..sorry..but, it is under the 'love and friendship' category= throw me a bone! lol...btw, did i spell 'behaivor' incorrectly or are you english?

im English and dyslexic so I didn't notice @nightowl lol. my bad you're right sorry. no trust and respect = no future

@LeighShelton no, dude- i'm not even serious- my dad grew up in liverpool and frankfurt, so i've grown up with plenty of idioms and different spellings..i mean any american can travel or read about such things, but growing up with it enures me to it when i see it...you are another funny mofo on here..thank goodness for that..i find it very pc and vanilla..ironic.

you got to have some fun but thank you

@Sarahroo29 -- It's not "...use to say...", it's "...used to say...". Once an editor, always an editor. This is a case of saying something the way you hear it. Another example is, "...well, I would of...". The correct form is, "...well, I would've..." which comes from "...well, I would have...". We hear it as "would of", so we tend to write it that way, but it's wrong.

@evidentialist Yes, I made a typo. Sorry I'm not perfect.

@Sarahroo29 -- Not a criticism, kiddo. Just an old man trying to be helpful. And I know it wasn't a typo, because you have done it in all cases where you have used it. That too is not a criticism, just letting you know.

@Sarahroo29 -- and none of us are perfect, but it is worth making the effort.

ah, idealism....still, clever-sounding!

@nightowl I don't see it as idealism. I'm too pragmatic to be idealistic.

@KKGator lol

you think so? idk...

so, ernest1, you how do you get out of a rut?

@nightowl hard work trying different methods if the old ones aren't working, staying away from negative mind frames. Working towards goals instead of praying towards them.

ha! i hear you...under the auspices of love and relationships, and being 46 and still single- obviously i suck at keeping the honeymoon stage lasting forever..lol..i am highly analytical and a people pleaser ( a work in progress, though) so i just have to understand my part and aim to avoid the same choices/fuckups...so, it makes me wonder, that despite all of the intention and honesty- i'm still so naive and painfully unfulfilled. you?

@nightowl I think a lot of what you described is just part of the human condition. We're all struggling with something and doing our bests to make improvements in our lives. There's always going to be bad, but hopefully there's some good in there too. If you ever want someone to talk with/vent to feel free to message me!

your name is too apt! well said..and the last line- on the nose.

@nightowl Thank you, on both counts.

le bingo

that's herculean! sounds like it must have been super shitty, i'm sorry and congrats.

sure seems like. lol

plausible and most likely, speaking for myself- and i'm looking like a mofo!!!!!

fast learner

again, another type of person who is touch with their process...i worry about the scores of folks that are not, and are out there and trying to date me. or you...no wonder people have such a hard time...