Agnostic.com

35 2

If you could talk to someone that has passed away, who would it be and what would you say to them?

Dawgismygawd 6 Mar 29
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

35 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

3

It would be my dad, and I'd tell him how much I miss him and how proud I am, even all these years later, that I had such a terrific father and what a difference that made in my life. I'd tell him about my sons and what excellent men they are now, and tell him about my brother's boy whom he never got to meet, who is so much like him. Dad died in 1990 when he was only 56.

Deb57 Level 8 Mar 29, 2018

and young lady sounds like you have had a comlpeat life with children and brother, I guess if I had all them people in my life I would really want to see them again, ani I would think that for the religious its on of the prime movers in beleiveing in an afterlife, but I just don't see it, I'm not saying that thatsbwhat you believe ,I'm just using your example to try and wonder how it would make me feel??

1

I would fall asleep with all the cats that have been in my life in one big furpile after calling each of them by name.

1

I kind of did, in a way. Yeah, I know, non-falsifiable, could be a figment of my imagination but could be possible - though even if there is no god like theists think there is, we have no idea what is or isn't included in nature.

Anyway, oh, no, crud, I just realized that not only is tomorrow night the anniversary, but it happened on a Friday too, and I did not find out until Sunday, April 1st - April Fool's Day - and it took a whole year for me to accept that he really had died, and it wasn't just some horrible April Fool's prank gone wrong.

28 years ago tomorrow night, my boyfriend died in a car accident. I had spoken to him the Wednesday before. We were in a long distance relationship, and he was miserable. He hated his job, and he wanted to move back to be with his other friends and me, but he had been paid his annual salary in advance to move to California - and a very enticing salary at that. He really didn't want to have to put on his resume that he had spent less than a year at this job. He was brilliant - had his Master's degree in math at the age of 21, very responsible, and it would have only been 5 more months for him to finish the year - but he hated the job badly enough that he was willing to pay them back the whole thing and just leave now. But he felt like he couldn't deal with the guilt of that.

We talked a very long time. He just hated having to figure out something new every day. Whenever there was any kind of problem at the company that no one else could figure out, they would bring it to him. He just wanted to do the same thing, over and over again, every day. I suggested he teach math at a college. The pay was significantly less, but he would be happy, and there were colleges nearby, and right now would be a great time to file applications to start in the fall semester. That way he would know that he was getting out of there soon, and have a job already lined up to go to after his year ended in August. He agreed that sounded like the best plan.

I also suggested he go watch a movie. Something funny. He said he would on Friday after the work week was over. Just before we hung up, I said "I love you" and he hung up the phone. Long distance calls were expensive in those days, so it wasn't uncommon that we would only speak to each other once a week.

On Sunday, I found out that he had been out later than usual - I assume that meant he'd gone to the movies - and around 11:00 p.m., he'd gotten into a one person crash going 85 mph into a concrete offramp, and died instantly.

My roommates insisted it was suicide, and it was my fault because I was the last of any of us to talk to him. It was April Fool's Day, I thought that he'd gotten his roommates, my roommates, and his mother to all help him play a really horrible April Fool's prank on me. Months later, since he didn't say "I love you" back, I thought maybe he wanted to break up with me, and decided to do it through a horrible April Fool's prank. It was a year later, when I called his apartment and he didn't answer the phone, when I finally realized he really was dead. The thing I couldn't stand not knowing though was whether or not he had heard me say "I love you" before he hung up the phone.

One night I dreamed that I was in a white room, seated at a simple white table, facing a wall with a door and a wide window that looked into another white area next to a white hallway leading up to the door. There was a guy wearing white behind me. It seemed kind of like a hospital.

Shortly, I saw through the window that a couple of guys wearing white were bringing Jon, also wearing white, up the hall to the door, and they entered the room, and Jon sat down across from me. The guys were standing on both sides of him. I asked "Did you hear me say "I love you?"

His shoulders dropped, and he sounded disappointed when he said "No." He then got back up and walked back where he came from, escorted by the two guys. Then I woke up, but I realized that it didn't feel like a dream in a way that was very unusual - not like any dream I'd ever had before.

Yeah, there are all kinds of explinations for that, but since then there has only been one other dream that felt just like that. Something, some things, that were just entirely too much for me to handle emotionally were actually going on in my waking life. During that time, I dreamed that I was in an old, wooden farmhouse with a bunch of older children to younger teens running and wandering around. An ex-boss' mother came into the room, took one look at me sitting on the couch, and said "Yep, we'd better get her dog for her." Shortly, one of the young teens showed up with 3 dogs on leashes, and one of them was my dog (that I'd fairly recently had to give away). She was really happy to see me, tail wagging so hard her whole back half was going side to side, just like usual when she'd greet me. I gave her a hug and woke up, feeling better. Again, it didn't feel like a dream in the same way that the dream about Jon hadn't felt like a dream, but I didn't know at that time that my old boss' mother and my dog were both already dead at the time of that dream.

Make of that whatever you will, but that's what I mean by I kind of already did speak to someone who died.

Wait, I think my math is off - I was 21 - I am 48 now - how many years ago was that?

1

John Lennon - Id thank him for all of the great music, and the great messages he gave to the world.

gater Level 7 Mar 29, 2018
1

I said everything I could. id like to show my dad who thought I was useless what I've achieved maybe but I cant. he is dead.

1

It's a tie...

Dad: "I thought we had more time" and
Husband: "Check out our kids! They're turning out ok!!!"

I miss both so much!

Zster Level 8 Mar 29, 2018
1

Grandma?
Hi.

You're still dead and can't hear me because of it.

1

I miss my grandparents most of all. This was my mother's parents and I lived with them during early formative years. Mom always told me that it wasn't true. She said she just let me spend summer vacations with them. The problem with that idea was that others remembered too, and I found early school pictures from there at a later time. I loved my mother but she tried to rob me of these memories, possibly because at that time you would not be considered a good mother if your parents raised your child. By age 9 mom had me back with her again, and she had re-married. It was after mom died that I found my early school pictures, but I went to school with my cousins and they knew the facts of it all along. Part of my issues with mom were that she was wanting to wipe out my early memories. She last tried this with me about a year before she died. I think she had come to believe what she had always told me.

1

I would give anything to be with my wife again, but not if I had to say goodbye again.

1

My mother. She lived with me for the last few years of her life and it was not an easy situation. I was not the nicest person at times. I would love to tell her how sorry I am, and how much I love her. ?

She knows you love her.

1

Really just about anyone and I would ask, "What's it like down there?"

2

I would like to talk to James, my first "real" boyfriend. We lived together on the Olympic Peninsula on the Qweets Indian reservation. I was 17 just out of high school. He was a stunning male specimen. Full blooded Swed 6'3, deep blue eyes. blond hair half down his back. Boy did we have fun. Worked as "Shake Rats" out in the clear cut. Grew herb out there in the rain forest. Body surfed in the ocean at these gorgeous beaches, visited the hot springs many times, swam in the rivers. We had a blast. He was 9 years older and I wasen't ready to settle down...at all. He passed away in a car crash on the 101. I wish he was here, thats, what I would tell him. I would tell him I loved him and that in ways I regret that I ever left him. That I diden't know how good I had it. He was an incredible lover, and an incredible man. Sniffel,sniffle.

"...if you can be with the one you love...love the one you'er with...."

Never lost a Lover... in all my years I know of only one woman I had sex with that passed and we were buddies not lovers, our encounters were in Orgies, those were the 70's, before AIDS and HERPES. It will be hard when it happens, not to my liking for sure. Sorry for your Loss. Suddenly I wonder how many that I remember are no longer here. Moment of Sadness for the Gone.

1

Definitely my grandma. I would ask her to teach me everything she can in the time that we have. Saying she had a green thumb would be an understatement.

1

I often have nothing to say, so even if I had someone that passed away that I could talk to, I would say nothing.

1

I would like to talk to my father. He was in the 42nd infantry division (rainbow) during WW2. His division liberated the Dachau concentration camp.

My father never said anything against Jews his entire life, and he passed along the idea to me that they were a people who had suffered a lot during their existence.

I have to wonder: anti semitism was common and accepted behavior when my father was a boy in the 1920s.

My question to him would be did he always hold the Jews in high regard, or were his experiences at Dachau something that transformed his way of thinking?

1

I would want to talk with my maternal grandmother, the most decent and honorable person I've ever known. I would ask about her background, her raising, my mom.
Of the famous people, I would choose Mark Twain. He could see the joy, the tragedy, and the folly of life.

1

I'd tell my dad that I loved him one more time, and how I appreciated all the sacrifices he made for me when he was alive.

1

My Grandfather ( my Mum's Father). I used to visit love visiting regularly and loved that old guy then 14 yrs old discovered Music,Cigarettes and Girls so rarely saw him. Joined the Armed Forces and eventually visited when I was about 22yrs. He said to me- metaphorically- ' Where have you been all these years?' Went abroad and next I received news he had died. Would love to see him again and tell him I love him!

1

The two people that started as lovers and became lifelong friends.Not so much a discussion of regret, just to continue our lifelong conversation.THey both knew me from when we were young and becoming and that can not be duplicated

1

Marilyn Monroe.

1

This is a hard choice, because I would want to talk to my mom, and tell her how much I love her and miss her, and then I would try to tell her everything that has happened since she died 10 years ago. However, I would also want to talk to my dad and tell him how much I love and miss him, and then ask him why he left the Catholic church, and many other questions about his family that I never found out because he died when I was 20 years old.

2

I never knew my father (killed in military service) and would want to have a few hours with him.

ORRR...I'd talk with the Pharaoh Hatshepsut. (She was the first female pharaoh and she must have had ENORMOUS charisma to overcome thousands of years' prejudice against female rulers! I want to know how she pulled that off.)

4

I would talk with Dr. Wilhelm Reich and try to console him in his bitter disappointment in the expectation that fifty years from his death, he'd be a little better understood. He is in fact no better understood today than 60 years ago when his lifeless body was found in a prison cell where he died of a broken heart.

His books were burned by government order following suit with the NAZIS and Communists previously in Europe. They had him on death lists, yet he met his end in the hands of the US Government.

His crimes were loving humankind too deeply, too much dedication to findings of his scientific work and too much unwelcome knowledge.

Yes I'd try to conslole him at this time but join him in confidence that at least some time in the future a society will exist that is capable of not only understanding his discoveries but implementing them because, as he said: 'In the act of thought life comprehends it's own essence."

Interesting man. I concur.

2

William Shakespeare. I'd love to learn about his writing process. I'd also tell him that he's still the most famous playwright in western civilization.

2

The one that got away. What happened? I'd want to know if I could have stopped it.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:45799
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.