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So unlike my parents, whom I love, lol I am letting my son decide what to believe or not to believe. He is 11 now. He believes in a god. He doesn’t know what my beliefs are. Only because he hasn’t asked. I don't want him to base his beliefs on what mine are. Ya know, cause I’m his parent. I’m not sure if I should tell him or not. I mean he still believes in Santa.

GalaxyJumper 4 Feb 16
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23 comments

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8

So, unlike my parents, I am letting my son decide what to believe. He's a flat-earther and anti-vaxxer but I don't want him to base his beliefs on mine. His irrational opinions are just as valid as facts, which makes me a super parent.

5

He is 11 and still believes in Santa?

5

I think you should guide your child towards reality instead of beliefs. Let him know that beliefs are not reality until proven and that the god beliefs are not found in that reality. Let him know it is just not necessary to believe in something. That it is more important to do real things to help others instead of prayers to a make believe being that does nothing. The truth is better.

I would add to that; So long as nobody is being hurt by your spiritual belief then whatever you land on is fine by me.

4

I just taught my kids to reason. Church was interesting to them for five minutes. I took them to church and politely answered their questions. When I had given the proper doctronal answers they were not believers. I kept my lack of belief out of it. They did not know that I was an atheist for a long time.

3

I did that. They were taken to as many kinds of churches as we had in the snow-white Upper Peninsula of Michigan. None of the three go to church, but none are ready to dare claim atheism. None asked me what I believed until they were adults. I understand about being frightened about claiming there is no god. If I’m wrong, will I be struck down? NO! I’m happy and prosperous. They are too.

3

my ex and her family are Christians and took my kids to church on occasion, my daughter even got baptized when she was 10..I simply educated my kids on how there are several different belief systems/religions, I was patient, answered any questions to the best of my ability and let them decide on their own. They are ages 13-17 now and both claim to be proud Atheist!

3

Teach your kids to think critically and they will find the truth. My kids went through periods when they believed at varies times because others they are in contact with will be trying to influence them. To avoid such influences is impossible. Another rule I used was not to ever lie to my kids so I never taught them Santa was real. I did this after talking to hundreds of drug addicts I worked with that repeatedly told me learning santa wasn't real was a turning point in their relationship with their parents. They decided they couldn't be trusted anymore so they dumped all they were taught by their parents and went wild. Not sure how much truth there was in that but it's was clear to me that such lies may seem harmless but they are not. That being said my kids did often choose to believe in him anyway so we played along by writing santa on some gifts. They are driven to fit into the society they live in so when everyone else pretending they often go along. I let my kids explore and play all they wanted but I always tried to guide their thinking by making them learn to ask questions. It comes naturally to some more than others but it's the best gift a parent can give in my opinion.

3

Dad was an atheist mom was not. When I asked him (and it was pretty obvious how he thought from general responses to religious stuff on the TV etc.). He simply said "This is what I think. It does not have to be how you think. Everyone should make their own mind up about these things son"

3

Maybe there will be a time he no longer believes in Santa. God belief is like Santa for adults.

3

Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.

Good luck.

2

Have you asked him why does he believe "in a god." You have to be careful because even if you want to let him decide and not say anything, there are powerful influential sources that could brainwash him, the media, peers, school, society in general, you, as a parent are obligated to guide and educate your child. Nobody is saying you must brainwash him to not believe, but you can state what you believe or don't and why.

1

He is 11 and he still believes in Santa ??

1

Without lying I tried not to influence my children, I let them decide. My son would ask questions, I would answer “some people believe “. Finally he asked what I believed. I think your beliefs will eventually become the subject of conversation.

Some people believe is exactly the phrase I used with my children. One is an atheist one is a believer.

I've tried to do the same, one tough thing - my kids mom has remarried an evangelical preacher, and become that way herself. Frankly I think teaching kids they were born bad, and that if they screw up they could get tortured forever? Child abuse. But I think they didn't get them quite old enough, looks like they are reasoning around it.

1

When he starts questioning is the time to give him your opinion. I feel the same way about politics. I recall my eldest, the first time he had to vote (compulsory where I live). Anyway I said nooooooo. Get the local paper and read the policies and make an informed decision. In the end he told me he simply voted for the best looking blond.

1

That's the right attitude. Very rare. Keep going on this.

1

He will probably not get to decide as others will influence him. He should know your thoughts to add to his choices. My late partner was encouraged to question everything (she was from Iran and brought up in a Moslem household). She thought religion was silly but then saw what this silly religion did to her country. She had 3 kids and did not push religion. Her 2 oldest adopted S. Baptists and she questioned how that could be. As an elementary school teacher she realized critical thinking and questioning has to be encouraged. Her sone married another S. Baptist who could not stand an idea of an atheist in the family and that separated the mother from the son. This was her biggest regret at her death.

0

He needs some guidance...

0

A little early if he tells his friends he will be bullied and or hurt physically

bobwjr Level 10 Feb 27, 2020
0

Wait, he believes in God on his own? Who introduced your son to the concept of God? His grandparents? Other family members? A church? His public school (perish the thought)? When you say your son still believes in Santa at the age of 11 that would be the 5th or 6th grade? By then I clearly remember having pretty much abandoned any notion of an omniscient dude who knew when I was sleeping or awake or bad or good--I mean, that's God-like, and there's only one of them! In my young mind, Santa was totally fake!

0

I would say good for you for letting him believe what he wants but also make sure you are teaching him to think and question. I'm okay with my kids believing things that I don't believe but I'm not okay with them not thinking them through.

My daughter believes in Santa, too, but I made sure she reasoned it out and came to a logical conclusion. Why does she believe Santa exists? Because she saw him in person. Sounds like a good reason to me. When she finds out people dress up and play Santa, we can have that conversation again.

0

My parents brought me up the same way. And here I am.

0

My older son totally gets my discussions with him regarding religion, he sees through the nonsense and has always asked me the right (thoughtful) questions.

My 12 year old...totally different kid. I worry that he might be susceptible to the "pressure". He recently came back from a scouts church morning with some bullshit dumped on him. Guess what? No More Scouts Church activities. But he at least questioned it and brought it home to me.

Also no more Memorial Day ceremonies at the local cemetery for us, the theists have over taken it with crazy nonsense.

It's a war....the Theists tell us that everyday.
And you're gonna let your kid wade into it unarmed, unprepared.....WTF?

Censorship is not a dirty word

twill Level 7 Feb 17, 2020
0

At age 11 he has yet to acquire critical thinking skills. I went from ages 10 to 30 accepting the absurd claims of the God Squad.

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