I always say you can't go back. I married my first husband because we were living together and probably wanted to please my parents who were his drinking buddies. His behavior mimicked the dysfunctional relationship I had with my family, but I didn't realize it at 23.

Yes, I would have definitely avoided my first two marriages. My first wife was loose shall we say as I met her in a GI bar in Germany. I was young and thought I was the man. Her sister was double whatever my wife was and she was constantly tugging at her and I lost that tug of war.

My second wife was a yes yes person and agreed to almost everything I said. After we were married none of that turned out to be true. I held on to 15 years of that until I found myself staring at the back of her head while she entertained herself online. When I finally broke the cycle and put more of me in my life, she didn't like that and her online entertainment went to online relationships.
She left, I won. I had me again.

I like to imagine that if I ever married again I would make a better choice because now I have all these years of experience. Of course the choice may be to not marry again.

If I could do it again AND retain my memories AND could make life take the same trajectory, I might... but the odds of that would be astronomical.

Hi,I said the same to my wife.If I could go back I would have to relive my first marriage as if that hadn't failed I would not have met my wife.35 years on and still I'm holding on to the hate.

See the word controlling Human are really good at controlling again
where there is control that is not a good outome
we need to crete a society where there is no control in the sense where life or death is involved