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How to use your stimulus check to stimulate the economy...

by Andy Young

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will likely receive another economic stimulus.
It is indeed a very exciting program, and I’ll explain it by using a Q&A format:
Q: What is an Economic Stimulus?
A: It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.
Q: Where will the government get this money?
A: From taxpayers.
Q: Is the government simply giving me back my own money, then?
A: No, only a smidgen of it.
Q: What is the purpose of this payment?
A: The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high definition television set, a new iPad, or a new SUV, thus stimulating the economy.
Q: Isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
A: Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U. S. Economy with your stimulus check. Use it wisely:

  • If you spend the stimulus money at Walmart , the money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
  • if you spend it on gasoline, t he money will go to the Arabs.
  • if you purchase a computer, it goes to India, Taiwan , or China.
  • if you purchase fruits and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras, and Guatemala.
  • if you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea.
  • if you purchase useless stuff, it goes to Taiwan.
  • if you pay your credit card off or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
    Instead, keep the money in America by:
    (1) Spending it at a yard sale, or
    (2) Going to a ballgame, or
    (3) Spending it on prostitutes, or
    (4) Beer, or
    (5) Tattoos
    (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S.)
    CONCLUSION: Go to a ballgame with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.
    No need to thank me, I’m just glad I could be of help.
Allamanda 8 Apr 3
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5 comments

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0

Well, beer is just a given.

1

If I do get anything it will go toward electing a Democrat and defeating ugly-pus tRump.
Also, a lot of those scenarios are misleading and false. For starters our regional Co-ops get most of their foodstuffs locally.

0

of course you don't say which 'andy young.

0

Thanks for today's belly laugh.

0

Funny post, but highly exaggerated. We all benefit from international trade.

and let's not encourage (or support) the zenophobia

@Allamanda Even, at times hyper- bollocks!!

@Petter About thirty years ago I had need for a plotter for my business. Japanese plotters were highly rated, but out of national loyalty I decided to buy a good old American Hewlett-Packard. As I was setting it up I saw a tiny label on the back: “Made in Spain”.

You guys make good stuff, and not just wine.

@WilliamFleming When I was the Sales and Technical manager for my company's East and Central Africa zone during the 1980s, I purchased a lot of equipment from our many factories.
Britain for large, high quality machinery
Spain for smaller, but high tech machinery
India for basic, tough, cheap machinery.
I also ordered specialist stuff from the Yonkers factory in New York and our German factory.
Yep! Spain is surprisingly good at making things, but is being priced out of the market.

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