Fellow inmates,
I feel compelled to draw your attention to a looming crisis. No not the rising death toll and lack of PPE or anything so trivial. No comrades we are fast approaching a serious shortage of crap to watch.
TV companies already hard-pressed by a dearth of actors thin enough to appear in their shows, had already been scouring Australia, Canada, and even minor members of the royal family to fulfill demand. Now with so many people stuck at home and no new shows being made, stocks are dwindling.
A network executive explained; "We have tried to make some new shows but you can`t really do a love scene in a hazmat suit, it doesn't work - even for Hallmark. I mean it was hard enough convincing everyone that women always have sex with their bras on but a facemask is one step too far"
The BBC spokesman was only slightly more reassuring. "There is no immediate cause for alarm; We still have hours of "Are you being served" yet to air"
But cracks are already beginning to show. Currently, the most popular thing to watch is about a homicidal zoo-keeper. Presumably striking a chord with homeschooling mothers.
Like Lenigrad listening to a metronome, we are ticking down the doomsday clock. Mark my words; if they start showing re-runs of "I Love Lucy"? It is time to board up your windows and dig a hole for granny.
Be seein yer
Number 6