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So - for those of you, like myself, who wouldn't mind finding a partner, it seems yet more qualifiers have been added to my already complicated list ...

Do they ...?

Smoke
Take care of themselves
favor the guy in the White House
Drink or drug to excess
have teeth
know how to spell
smell pleasant
welcome learning
like animals and nature
have control of their finances
avoid judging others
have a "personal relationship with fantasy"
read
have an open mind
stay fit
practice kindness to most others
and now add :
counter "Black lives matter" with "All lives matter" - totally missing the point.

Sure glad I enjoy my own company ! What are your seemingly impossible-to-fill preferences ?

evergreen 8 June 5
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50 comments (26 - 50)

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2

Your list looks pretty good to me! I've given up on making a wish list for a partner. If someone happens to pop into my life, who gets me thinking about dating, those are probably points I'd use to gauge compatibility.

2

@evergreen
You are sabotaging yourself and any potential relationship.
Checklists are useful when yu're going camping, getting your camera out, maybe doing spring cleaning. Things like that.

What few things are really feal-breakers? For example, I could not have a long-term intimate relationship with a conservative. Just wouldn't work.
There are some ings I might not like in a partner. But I am not her and she is not me.
I might have made different choices than she did but, then again, we all usually make the best choice we can under our present circumstances and mental state.

I think not. I've had some fine partners . If there are no more to be had, life will go on.

2

I don't know that I have any real deal breakers that are set in stone. My biggest qualifier is that we can be friends. If that happens, then the possibilities are endless.

2

ive noticed in my travels the ones with the most qualifiers are the ones with the least pleasing qualifications themselves
I agree with many of those on your list but its subjective depending on the current candidate
personally I know my taste is all in my mouth so at this stage I don't want a relationship im good
just an occasional good f**k

Hmmm, Other than being old and decrepit I'm very well qualified even though I have lots of requirements.😍😆

Being pleasing hasn't been an issue for me. In no way is this bragging - but I've experienced the opposite situation. I meet someone - we get along ok, and within weeks they're in love and want to get married . My last attempt , he began marriage overtures after only 3mos. Oh my.
It was his Born-again fervor that finished us though.

2

I have some qualifiers, or disqualifier that I would add to your list.
No kids at home and all kids being independent and responsible citizens.
Live in the immediate metro area, I don't do long distance.
Be reasonably organized and tidy.
Be able to take care of his own stuff and have stuff in porportion to the available space, ie no hoarders.
Must tolerate small children

2

Mine, female, same age or younger, nice person,

bobwjr Level 10 June 5, 2020
2

My list is much shorter.

2

Smoke- please no, I have lung problems
Take care of themselves- I can if they need help
favor the guy in the White House- DEEP NO!
Drink or drug to excess- No
have teeth- I'm missing some so no biggie
know how to spell- Yes
smell pleasant- Haven't many that don't
welcome learning- Big yes
like animals and nature- Another big yes
have control of their finances- As long as in debt for being stupid
avoid judging others- depends if its a republican-see number three
have a "personal relationship with fantasy"- if they come under seven I can work with that
read- Big requirement as I do all the time
have an open mind- Yes
stay fit- I can't so not a biggie
practice kindness to most others- Yes
and now add :
counter "Black lives matter" with "All lives matter" - totally missing the point.Not sure what that means?

Sure glad I enjoy my own company !

BillF Level 7 June 5, 2020

"....counter "Black lives matter" with "All lives matter" - totally missing the point.Not sure what that means?...."

No, I think you DO get what that means. IMHO this is one of the stupidest and least productive meme's this youngest generation has come up with.

Of course black lives matter as much as any other human life, but NOT any MORE than another human life!!

People who insist on walking up to a white person and shouting "Black lives matter!" as though it were news and then getting offended with the response of "All lives matter." are missing the point that they made the racist assumption a person with white skin wouldn't think black lives matter as much as anyone else's.

Sorry! Rant over. I did try to resist for a while.

2

If the person you are looking for is to be the "one" you spend time with to the exclusion of others, it should be hard to fill.

2

Smoke-no
Take care of themselves-sorta
favor the guy in the White House-Trump’s a scumbag
Drink or drug to excess-no
have teeth-yes
know how to spell-of course
smell pleasant-you tell me
welcome learning-naturally
like animals and nature-I have two cats
have control of their finances-yes
avoid judging others-most of the time
have a "personal relationship with fantasy"-I read fantasy, but I don’t believe it.
read-naturally
have an open mind-open to what?....of course
stay fit-trying to get there
practice kindness to most others-yes.
and now add :
counter "Black lives matter" with "All lives matter" - totally missing the point-Black Lives Do Matter. Of course they do. It’s sad that we have to insist on that.

Good Hygiene-
Intelligence-
Female-
Do not assume that their take on the infinite is the last word; tolerance-

2

What does it mean to have a "personal relationship with fantasy"?

TO_BY Level 7 June 5, 2020

likes to dress up funny and pretends to be Tinkerbell on the weekends?

@hankster Ahhhh. So no vigilante militia "superheroes" then ?

@TO_BY could be..... I was just trying to make an example.

gods

@evergreen oh sorry to have missed that. It was a worthy question. What you were saying was if a person believes in gods they don't qualify?

1

Da Lists,,, Da reason why you are still single! #NoLists!

1

Recently attempted dating outside my very similar list. It led to nothing but meaningless sexual experience to try to simulate some real connection. Kinda disastrous. But, lists wouldn't have served evolution well. 🤣

Sorry things didn't work out - not easy huh ? But then, the idea of some meaningless sex is not totally abhorrent to me ... : )

1

I smoke
I kinda take care of myself...I think I do anyway
Sometimes but not right now
Drink or Drug to excess.......Never at the same time
Have nearly all of my teeth
knov huw to speil
smell REASONABLE not to bad
Hate Dogs
Love Cats
My Wife has control of my finances....😟
Avoid Judging others unless they deserve to be judged
have a "personal relationship with fantasy" (WOW Jennifer Lopez rocks)
stay as fit as I have always been
practice kindness to some others

1

I think you are spot on, but then I'm a raging liberal that doesn't smoke. If a woman tells me she supports MAGA, shows any kind of racism, or, at my age, doesn't like dogs, then it's sorry, gotta go. I'm not a White Knight, I'll help anybody on drugs (been there), make sure they are fed, even listen without judgement, but I'm not bringing them home. Unless it Sofia Vergara, I'll take that hit.

1

I was separated for about 3 years and was dating a little. Met someone in a similar situation and there were instant sparks. My big three were (and still are): Non- smoker, liberal, light drinker. She didn't meet any of the qualifications. She was a heavy smoker, hard drinking, conservative, born again Christian. We had a blast for about 4 months, and then her guilt led her back to her husband.

I think with chemistry, you can look past anything in the short run. A lasting relationship takes love, trust, and compromise. If you have to compromise on your core beliefs, resentment will soon take over and there's no way for the relationship to survive. You have to stay true to your core beliefs, and find someone with the same core for any chance at a lasting relationship.

You are right. Chemistry is important, and fun, but the list is a good backup measuring tool to keep centered on the right track. So you don’t get a chemical burn.

1

Most of the things on your list are a good start (some re iffy). Food choices is another item or at least be open to a different way.
Don't care about the smell part just so long they don't smell bad. Actually would prefer someone who doesn't use perfumes.
Emotional stability is a biggie.
We all judge others (repulicans, tRump supporters, rabid christians and so on) so why not have someone who is 'normal'.

Ha - define "normal".

@evergreen In this case someone who is not an extremist.

@JackPedigo One needn't be an extremist to still be an absolute fruitcake ! Ha

@evergreen Okay, whatever normal people think is normal. How's that?

@JackPedigo cop out - still no definition. And I don't expect one - because humans are way too complicated .

1

Not bothering. I should write a book with my attempts and massive fails I've been told. Maybe if I ever have any down time.

0

That list is not any different from what mine would be, for the most part. The only real difference is that I am not looking for a partner. I have no desire to live full time with anyone.

No mention of living with anyone - I couldn't do that again ...or at least it's highly unlikely !

@evergreen I guess when I hear, or read. "partner" I take it that someone is looking for, or open to, someone with whom to share an abode; but that isn't necessarily a given.

0

Must love my 2 Service Cats Kiti7&Laila10

0

I prefer living out of the closet writing poems singing songs and taught exactly how to love she who chooses me for a lifetime not a throw away encounter..... old fashioned courtship and new fangled art technology..... finish the job Yoko Ono started with John Lennon...
.love is giving peace a chance

0

everyone judges people and many other things as it helps keep us safe. It looks like your going to be alone then.

Having already had my share of good loves - I won't be greedy. Alone is hardly the worst thing.

@evergreen of course your right

0

I agree with you fully only I do have dentures. Some people don't give a damn about themselves enough to have them. I see more and more people today who only have 4 or 5 teeth. Disgusting!

maybe they can't afford to do otherwise

@whiskywoman If they wanted to shop around they could find dentures at $200.

@DenoPenno that's food for some or part of the rent have you ever scrimped and not had enough I have I can remember times when a coke was unaffordable even now if I didn't have kids who knows I could not afford rent and food in the same month let alone utilities

@DenoPenno and I never found dentures for that not in the usa

0

Somebody call a wambulance. Wouldn't you want to date a like minded person?

0

what the heck does this mean? "have a "personal relationship with fantasy"? Do you want this? Or not want this? why is it a necessity or deal breaker? 😕

A belief in a fantasy god.

Many refer to their "personal relationship with geesus. "
Merely a play on words, and definitely not something I want (having tried in the past).

aw man don't be so fancy then. Just say no believers/religious/spiritual types. That's what it essentially is. 😛

@demifeministgal You say it your way, I say it mine. Peace

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