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I stole this from FB but left the authors name on it. Totally agree

H/t Mand McLaren

If I hear one more person go off on conspiracy theory tangents about Covid being a myth, or similar, I might get a little bit wild.

Let’s take a minute to talk about why this is absolutely, 0%, f**king ridiculous.

At no point EVER in the history of the world, have all the governments, of all the countries, of the whole world, got together and gone, “Hey, can we all agree that there is some kind of plague going on? You all okay with that?”

  • all nod heads

“Okay, can we all agree to disagree publicly about the best way to handle it? It’ll seem more realistic this way? You all okay with that?”

  • all nod heads

“Okay, can we get all the doctors and nurses etc on board? We’ll need some people to lie about cause of death for at least 700,000 people... you all okay with that?”

  • all nod heads

“Some of you might have to cop a bit of crap and be pretty much blamed for everything, including who individual idiots choose to shag. You okay with that Dan?”

  • Dan nods head

“We’ll need Bill Gates to promote a vaccine that includes a microchip... can someone get Bill on board? You all okay with that?”

  • all nod heads

“We’re gonna call it Corona virus - it’s a real type of virus thing, but can someone check with Cerveceria Modelo if they’re happy for their beer to take a hit when idiots correlate the two? You all okay with that? Mexico? Belgium?”

  • all nod heads

“We’ll need to spread the non-existent plague through 5G towers - can someone get the telco’s for every country on board? You all okay with that?”

  • all nod heads

“Look, we’re going to need to crash the economy of the whole world - you might cop some flak... you all okay with that?”

  • all nod heads

“We need a guy to eat a raw bat... we need to have a country to blame....can someone get on that? China? Thanks. You all okay with that?”

  • all nod heads

“After that, we’ll need some ways to spread it - let’s focus mainly on cruise ships and old folks' homes - you all okay with that?”

  • all nod heads

“Some weirdos might come out of the woodwork - we’re gonna have to put tinfoil supply into overdrive.... you all okay with that?”

  • all nod heads

“They’re the ones we want though, okay? Divide and conquer. You all okay with that?”

  • all nod heads

“Oh yeah, no leaks, ok? The public can’t know about this.... you all okay with that?”

  • all nod heads

“We’ll need a coupla high profile celebs on board? They need to be loveable. Can someone check if Tom Hanks is happy to get it and recover? Also, check if Tim Brooke-Taylor is happy to get it and die. You all okay with that?”

  • all nod heads

“Now, Trump, you’re gonna have to keep acting like a d*ckhead. If this is to be believable, America will probably have to have more deaths than most other countries, and it needs to seem like it’s your fault - you okay with that, Don?”

  • Trump: “Covfefe.”

“Awesome. Great that we’re all agreeable. Now, if any of you in the room are currently at war with another country in the room, you need to keep that act up, or they’ll be onto us - you all okay with that?”

  • all nod heads

“Oh, and we need someone to come up with bizarre cures....anyone? Anyone? Don?”

  • Trump: “I know a voodoo doctor? Bleach? Internal light? Hydroxychloroquine?”

“Perfect. You all okay with that?”

  • all nod heads

“Cool. Does anyone wanna know why we’re doing this?”

  • all shake heads

“Great, let’s get to it.”

  • all nod heads

Seriously, if Covid is a myth, then world peace could have been achieved.

273kelvin 8 Aug 23
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0

Nearly as stupid as a government that quarantines a nation, but allows international travel to and from countries where covid was problematic.

It isn't as stupid as people who holiday abroad, then return to the UK and 'self-isolate' by then spending that period on holiday in Devon and Cornwall.

People are finding the isolation rules very hard to follow in the UK but they are quite simple.
You cannot go and see anyone unless you are spending plastic in which case it's okay

@273kelvin And you cannot buy an effective mask, as the government wants the supply exclusively for the NHS, except their procurement process was partially privatised and not capable of managing an increase in demand.

It's funny how the moment the general quarantine was lifted, people flocked to the beaches, and lay in the sun, packed together like sardines, and/or had big parties. What's the point of restrictions when so many ignore them? Funny how at the same time they say that the don't want to go back to work because they don't feel it would be safe!

@Magister The only Bernard Manning joke that I repeat,
"Maggie Thatcher said that the unemployed don't want to work. Well I've got news for you Mrs Thatcher, the employed don't want to bloody word either"

2

It reminds me of some creationists, who believe that evolution, and a longer than 6500 years age for the earth, are a 'scientific conspiracy'. Yes, all you have to believe, is that hundreds of thousands of scientists, across all continents, nearly every nation and culture, twenty or thirty disciplines, and tens of thousands of institutions, have all been cooperating to fake millions of items of evidence, for two hundred years.

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