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Do You Believe that love transcends all ( age, education, time, distances, money, differences,... etc) and all boundaries able to be removed when you find {Real Love}.
OR
You Believe this is just a dreams we didn't live in ( Utopia ) There no such thing like this in real life and when you decide to choose your partner on ( real ground) Love is not the only answer to what you looking for?

Miloo 6 Apr 10
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16 comments

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0

I don't think there are any set rules, each relationship is different. All relationships take work, regardless of the circumstances. But if two people want to be together, they find a way.

2

Love isn't enough for a serious relationship or marriage. I wish it was but you can actually love someone who isn't good for you and who isn't helping you down a good path in life. The feeling of love is wonderful and a representation of your emotional capacity but you should always love with your eyes open and not let your feelings lead you astray in life.

am totally with you in every word but falling in love doesn't mean to go blind
it's mean to believe in love more than reasons and logic say and work together to keep your love going against every challenge you will face

or what the benefit of love if every other thing in life is perfectly fit and working with us ?

if you want to believe that love will make difference you aiming for start with yourself and be the example for every one just follow your heart and choose the right one and you will do it.

"work together to keep your love going against every challenge you will face"

Some challenges though are insurmountable and its better to separate under after you've already tried to overcome the challenge many times and failed. I hope that you never experience that with someone that you love. Not everyone does.

I just chose poorly once, chose to let red flags go thinking he was the person who loved me and would not treat me poorly and I was wrong. We tried counseling and he just refused to believe in the validity of the counselor and refused more counseling. I tried with the thought that maybe there was something I could do to eliminate our struggle and our fights and I was wrong. Being a cruel person when he disagreed was just a part of who he was and no amount of suffering or love on my part was going to change it.

1

Love isn't everything

2

I don't think love is found; I think love is built. What has to be found is another person who is willing to do their share of the work.

skado Level 9 Apr 11, 2018
1

I just dumped a man who made me feel happier and more loved than I have ever felt...but also made me the most upset and unhappy, because he had too much baggage, and I found I valued peace inside myself more.

we all suffering from unbalance life between what's our logic require and our heart needs
You not Alone My Dear @AnneWimsey

but what i mean here when you start to search for your partner dose love is transcends all Differences between you ( Age, Religion Race, ...etc) that's what am ask for

dose it worse to give it a chance if you really fell that you love him,
and let the life with your love decided or you didn't argue with logic because life always win ?

0

It's all a Hallmark valentines day card..

0

I may have believed that once, but it's just not feasible.

I was dating a woman 8 years younger than I am about 13 years ago. When we met, I had two teenage kids, and she didn't want children.

After a year and a half, she changed her mind. I couldn't keep her from having children, and I wasn't willing to start over with a newborn. We're still friends, and she's married and has a three year old son. As far as I know, she's really happy.

JimG Level 8 Apr 10, 2018
0

You're right. "Falling in love" is only a chemical reaction in the brain to bond a cis, hetero male to a woman to make it easier to stay faithful to her while he helps raise her children. Since cis, hetero women are usually wired to tolerate and humor males, this usually works in the favor of the children.

Unlike men, most cis hetero women don't "fall in love." Their role is to be the choosy female who picks over the courting males and chooses the one with best advantage to her. If women "fall in love" like men do, that means they have a lot of male traits, and this puts them at risk. Being besotted with someone, willing to overlook dangerous behavior and forgive anything, puts women at risk of abuse.

I'm highly male, so all my relationships have ended badly because I keep overlooking their disrespectful behavior, hitting on other women, etc., until it gets intolerable for me and I just dump them altogether. But my sister, girl friends and other cis, hetero women I know would never date someone who disrespected or cheated on them in any way.

If men displease them, the women dump their stuff on the lawn, change the locks, and move on.

I think your viewpoint on actual women might be a bit skewed?

@RavenCT Only because you are seeing "women" as a binary, blanket term where all women are "alike." We are actually on a gender spectrum, with male traits on one end and female traits on the the other. Studies show that male traits are mostly on the right brain hemisphere and female traits on the left side.

I used to be gender fluid, moving from one gender perspective to the other.
In male mode, I could fall hopelessly in love just from a woman's looks, while my female side is picky, only choosing the most advantageous mates.

I didn't even know that "falling in love" was real..thinking it was some commercial thing until I realized in 2014 that I'm transmale and stopped suppressing my male side.

I soon found myself in love, besotted, and allowing my female love interest to treat me terribly.

I then realized that my maleness had prevented me from having a good relationship with men, since I acted like all the cis, hetero men I knew..easy-going, a "whatever" person who allows friends to borrow the car, spill beer everywhere, but not really care.

@birdingnut So now you make sweeping generalizations about how other women behave?

@RavenCT (sigh) I get this reaction whenever I imply that there is a scientific basis to our gender behaviors. I've done research for years and experienced both sides when I was gender fluid.

I could add the links, but most people don't read them. You are assuming that all women think alike. They don't. At least 60% of me thinks I'm male and I'm wired that way. Most women on this forum are mixed gender, since most high IQ creative people are androgynes.

We are on a gender spectrum. Just never mind. Everything I say on this forum gets challenged and I'm tired of explaining constantly and posting links

Link: The creative mind is usually androgyne
[blogs.psychcentral.com]

@birdingnut A blog is not scientific fact. I don't doubt your beliefs about yourself but I'm tired of not being accorded the same courtesy.

1

No and no. And what’s up with all of the unnecessary parentheses?

sorry am not native speaker and also English is my second language and i know it's not so good so forgive my ignorance about how should i put my words between parentheses in a right way so am deepest sorry for this

@Miloo don’t be sorry, that’s a perfectly good reason! 🙂 I’ve been speaking English for 40something years and I still don’t get it. It’s a complicated language

0

we wish that

we are the persons who fall in love
So basically we supposed to be in charge of every thing and we got the decision whether we make it work or give up and say we were wrong from the beginning.

Stop Wishing just do it.

@Miloo thanks but I am more practical than that

@btroje and am always hopping you the best so, no problems here

0

I'd like to think it does.

So According to Mr @SpikeTalon

how much percentage do you give Love when we put it in real ground ?

@Miloo I'm going to say right down the middle 50/50 percent.

@SpikeTalon
So we Believe that love transcends all when we need love to do even if it 50%
So it's always back to us.... to the way of how we handle our differences on real life
So we got the choice would we make love win or Life win ?
am i right ????

@Miloo Indeed you would be, the individual forges his/her own path in life.

0

I've had relationships with men having major differences in education, age, income, religion, ethnic background, and likes/dislikes. Does love trancend all? No. My needs in a partner have changed. Different values now.

may be you was just need to work on your differences more than working on finding another partner who able to be fit of the newer version of ourselves

Remember that you fall in love with the same person and you still you and him also
so don't make differences change you
you just need to change the differences

There's another post referencing this. My preferences now include: intelligence, emotionally stable, financially stable, liberal politics and all inclusive.

1

Love is NOT enough.

Verified.

@stinkeye_a
@KKGator

So What enough means to the both of you ?

@ Miloo Responsibility, respect, boundaries, communication, honesty, integrity, humility...

My last bf "loved" me but felt that yelling is an acceptable way to communicate when angry. His "love" for me was not enough for him to confront the reality that his dysfunctional family of origin imprinted him with unhealthy conditioning. He could have used some humility and a willingness to respect my boundaries. Instead he refused to face the unpleasant truth that his behavior was not acceptable, and I left him. After 3 years. "Love" was simply not enough.

@Miloo Love isn't "enough" when there is no respect, consideration, compassion, empathy, or conscience. Actually, without those things, love isn't even love.

0

No. Relationships are work. The best one can hope for is that they're rewarding work, which is pretty damn good, imo.

0

If both people truly believe in the concept then it can happen, but it's having faith in a concept and the commitment to live in a manner conseriderate to your partner with an unshaking devotion to properly maintaining the relationship. Far too many people can't even keep a plant alive, much less maintain a major commitment that's survival is at least 50% depending on emotional whims.

2

No. Love doesn't transcend all. There are some barriers that are too hard to cross. Love isn't the only answer, but it sure helps.

So Mr @tnorman1236

What the most tough barriers that Love couldn't Cross And why you think it's tough?

@Miloo Well, that's tough. Maybe I spoke too soon, but I think there are people I couldn't love. I can see the humanity in everyone, and have some compassion, but love is a different thing. I don't think I could love someone who's cruel, or extremely arrogant, etc. Is this what you meant?

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