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Hi, so I had a sad day. My sisters and I decided to take our mom off of all of her meds today. She was on a blood clot medicine and without that she will most likely have a stroke. It's really a bittersweet day but she is just out of control at the nursing home trying to escape all the time it's just never ending. The doctor agreed we were doing the right thing even though it's a very difficult decision to make. We have to keep reminding ourselves that we're doing it out of love because she's not living a quality life. It's really very sad.

Presley1209 7 Apr 12
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38 comments

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6

Dementia? I'm very sorry for what you are going through.

I'm betting if she were in her right frame of mind she'd thank you for your compassion.

Yes, dementia. She would. She always said to call dr. Kevorkian if she ever got this disease. Thank you for your kind words as well

@Presley1209 Try to really remember that in the days ahead - keeping to someone's wishes can be rough - but you are doing absolutely the right thing.

2

I'm sorry to hear this. I hope it isn't too hard on you.

I'm handling it better than I thought I would be. Thank you for your kind words.

@Presley1209 No problem.

2

Oh gosh. So hard. That's a really difficult decision. My thoughts are with you.

Thank you so much. Its whats best for her. She never wanted to live like this.

@Presley1209 me either.

3

The experience of dealing with elderly parents can be some of the most difficult in our journeys. I wish your mother peace and hope you and your family find comfort in this difficult time.

Oh, thank you I do appreciate it. It is difficult but hopefully she will be at peace soon. I will miss her.

@Presley1209 We lost mom and dad in '15. While we still obviously miss them, my sister and I have become closer through the experience. A blessing in a weird way. Which is most likely the way mom and dad would want it. All the best.

@JohnPR1968 Thank you so much. My dad passed in 2011 and then my nephew a few months later. I never felt so close to my family. Sad that death will bring us together.

0

Just went through this with my wife of 30 years. She had gone deaf and blind from Muscular Dystrophy. Her instructions were to not call the doctor if she were having breathing issues. She was having some issues, I just curled up next to her and held her. She smiled.

0

My sincerest sympathies for your ordeal, and your mother's condition.
It's never easy. Hopefully, the end comes peacefully and quickly.

1

So terribly sorry to hear this. Both of my parents are gone now but it was never wady seeing them age. It is truly sad.

1

I'm so sorry baby girl! I'm off tomorrow. I'll probably sleep all day. Stay strong love! I will hit you tomorrow.

Okay, thank you.

0

And THIS is when I wish people could be as lucky as any dog I own who is too old to enjoy life and in pain, can't see, can't hear, and when the tail can't wag, it's over. I also belong to a Right To Die group..... and they don't let each other suffer. And you know what? Sometimes "ALL of her meds" could be making her worse than she should be. Look at it this way. You are no longer interfering with nature. And there is nothing wrong with that. <3 <3

0

So sorry. Dementia is such a horrible illness

1

Sounds like you have made the correct choice for her.

5

That is difficult to decide upon, sorry to hear such. Sounds like you and your sisters made the best decision though, as hard as it be.

2

I fully appreciate how bad this feels...taking matters into our own hands, about the care and fate of a loved one, is the hardest thing anyone will ever have to do. That is, if you believe everyone has a right to make his own choices. I have had to help make the decision to 'pull the plug,' on my brother and it was the hardest thing that I have ever done! In your situation, there is a possibility that adverse reactions from meds, could be contributing to the problem. I have friends, where that was the case. My heart goes out to you...

It just sucks. Thank you for your support.

@Presley1209 it will get better...with time! But it changed me for the better! My best...

1

It is very sad, and you are very brave doing what you feel is right for your family

Thank you so much.

1

Dementia is awful. Saw both my father's parents and my maternal grandfather and my father in law go through it and my father is showing initial signs of it at 74. You are doing the right thing.

Its the worst and thanks for your support.

0

I am sorry for your loss. We went through something similar with a relative a few years ago. It is a very difficult decision.

She's not dead yet, but will most likely pass in the next few weeks. Thank you.

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1

As a man of age 81, I empathize with your mother. I will end my own life before I will go into a nursing home.

I don't blame you at all for that. I will too. Thank you!

0

It's a terribly tough decision but if you really feel that you know what your mother's wishes would have been (or if she has an advance directive) you can feel a bit better knowing you are doing what she would do if she were still cognitively able to make those choices. <3 So very sorry, it's never easy. Many of us have been there.

We are comfortable with our decision, its what she would want. Thank you

2

So understand what you're going through. Hope you make it through with the least amount of horribleness possible. My sympathies.

Thank you. Its the worst thing ever.

@Presley1209 Sending ehugs. 🙂

2

We had to do that with my mom also. She was only 51, but she had premature dementia caused by multiple sclerosis. She was bed-ridden and her quality of life was non existant. It was a very hard decision to make, but even now I know it was the right decision. She never would have wanted to live like that if she could have made the choice herself. Peace be with you.

Oh that is so sad! Thank you.

1

I share your sadness and laud your courage. It's not pleasant or easy, but it's how thing go. Treasure her memory and live a testimony to the good in her.

1

I'm so sorry. But, as others have said better than I could, you're doing the right thing by her.

Thank you, we think so too.

0

Had to deal with parents who had dementia as well. It was very difficult when their immune systems break down they often succumb to pneumonia.

Its a horrible disease. My sweet mom is gone, has been for a while now. I feel for anyone who has gone thru this. Thank you.

1

Tough decision, but probably the correct one. My best to you and your sisters. When she passes, remember the good times and move on.

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