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Do you have a motto or mantra that helps guide your day to day life and interactions with others? For me, it is simply "Do no harm". #relationship #lifelesson #compassion

Mykbar 4 Apr 12
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1

Growing old is mandatory - Growing up is optional

2

Talk about mantras?

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I try to do no harm but my real life motto is "live and let live." I told my now deceased mother that once and she said it wasn't good enough because it wasn't well defined. OK, she had then explained to me without knowing it why she got trapped in an Evangelical religion. I'm so glad that I finally escaped it.

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I've been ruminating over this pithy "do no harm" motto for several minutes. I really love it.

I'm doing a bullying unit with 7th graders at the moment, and I'm going to incorporate this into the lessons. At the school, we're always telling kids to "practice kindness," and sometimes that feels like a lot to ask. "Do no harm" cuts right to the chase. It's saying that you don't have to be a nicer person, but you should put on the brakes when you're about to actively be mean.

We may have days when we feel like we can take on the world, but we also have days when it feels nothing is possible. Even on our darkest days, when we feel powerless, alone, frightened or angry, we can still make the choice to "do no harm", and take comfort that tomorrow is another chance to do better.

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There was a silly joke on the TV show Third Rock From the Sun. Harry didn't quite say a well-known adage correctly; he said: "When life hands you lemons, shut up and eat your damn lemons." It's one of those jokes that most people laughed at and forgot, but it has managed to stay with me for a very long time.

At first, I just laughed because it was funny. Then I thought about it. I was in a difficult time, and it resonated with me. I took it to mean that sometimes life sucks, we make mistakes (sometimes very big ones) and we can't always "make lemonade" out of it. Sometimes we fail, and as humans do, we often beat ourselves up about it. We whine and bitch about it, we dwell in it, we try to find others to blame, we let it consume us.

So to me, it means that when life gets you down, don't give up, don't beat yourself up. Take control. Just because we're in a bad situation, we aren't necessarily bad people, and we can say to ourselves; "ok, this situation sucks, but I accept it and I know that it won't last forever. I'm not going to bitch and moan about this. I can put together a plan to make it better."

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Yes I have 12 Guiding Lights that keep me balanced but mostly they are about interating with people. They are humility, kindness, present, friendly, gratitude, openness, loving, considerate, nonjudgmental, supportive, positive, and forgiveness. Each of these concepts have very specific definitions.

Cool. Did you lift these from a specific source?

@crazycurlz No. Just something I have been working on for a while.

@arca2027 interesting and powerful and says a lot that's positive about your character. Is it all in your head or on paper and how and with whom do you share your Lights, if you don't mind telling. ?
After my son's father died, I wrote two books. One a fairytale to help me through the grieving process and the other a hand-bound book for my son that was like an ethics code...qualities we found important, things we saw in him. I'm pretty sure I lifted this off something I found on a Jewish Parents website, though and the end result was mine but the idea was happily borrowed.

@crazycurlz Thanks. I have it all written down in a journal. I will put the latest definitions in an electronic file and give you a copy. Wherever the inspiration or source it really helps to write it down and look it over on a regular basis.

@arca2027 that's kind of you to share. there's a framework out there about the 7 areas of life. You seem to have found your balance instinctively. I am always impressed with people whose journey values personal growth and integrity. Nice to find leaders in this community and I will follow your post. Have a good day.

@crazycurlz As promised. It's a work in process:

Considerate – Before sharing ideas and actions with another, I give thoughtful consideration of that individual’s current emotional and social situation. What I say or how I interact should be moderated accordingly. What is the purpose of my words and action and how can I make sure that what I intend is accomplished?

Friendly – Social contacts are motivated by a good and open heart. The only agenda is to create a positive connection with another. There are not hidden agendas or motivations.

Forgiveness – Past actions or inactions by myself or others will not interfere with my ability to be the best person I can be to the next person or in the next social situation.

Gratitude – I recognize that all things in life are gifts of wisdom, even when it is not immediately apparent. The good, the bad, and the tragic all contribution to the richness of our life journey when we provide the emotional space to understand them.

Humility – I am first and foremost a student in a world of teachers; listening, seeing, and understanding. My demeaner drives out fear and invites sharing.

Judge-Not - I receive another’s realty without weighing it down with my own social filters. I create an environment that is safe for the individual to be honest, open, and exposed.

Kindness – I seek to create a safe social environment all for everyone, by creating an open welcoming space where thoughts and actions are motived by caring and consideration.

Love – I create caring exchanges that preserve supportive connections. Love is an opportunity to lift spirits and grow self-worth. Love is without conditions or limitations; without fear or agenda.

Open – I am available to new experience, ideas, and views. I seek to understand other’s world views without distorting with my own world view. I can be influenced without fear or prejudice.

Present – My attention is focused in who and what is in front of me at that moment; no multitasking relationships. My thoughts are not divided by what can be or what has been. The message and the lesson are right in front of me. Nothing else is needed.

Positive – I maintain social relationships that create conditions that provide strength and confidence to the individual’s reality.

Supportive –With honesty and good faith, I give strength and confidence to another’s position (decision), without question or judgement.

@arca2027 beautiful! Thank you. I'll use this as a reference. 😉

2

You can only see as far as you think.

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Thanks for all the replies. It is interesting to read what others find motivating, guiding and inspiring. Certainly what resonates with each of us varies widely.

4

"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming..."

"This too shall pass"

"Always Keep Fighting" (#AKF)

"DYB-DYB-DYB" (Do Your Best)

... and if those don't work...
One day I'll be dead, so it won't really matter... Pass the wine. (or bacon)

2

Yep...One, two, three...beep it! Works every time.

catchy!

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Maybe...be the change you want to see in this world...

@SACatWalker maybe it's time for CatWalker to shake things up a bit. I found that just being a good person, which is simply my nature, invited others to treat me as a doormat. It took a lot of YEARS to sort this out, to find that voice that both advocates for others while advocating for myself. I come across as very gentle, great listener. And I am. It's genuine. But while I'm listening, I'm sorting people out now. I am quick now to call out the users, the con artists, the malcontents and I do it gently, firmly. My friends get a kick out of this duality in my nature. Don't give up being a good person, SA, but, adding spice by demanding respect, advocating both for yourself and others, turns out that's probably the real place to take goodness. Speak softly and carry a big stick.

2

“Learn something” I feel accomplished if I learn something at some point in the day, whether it’s about me or a subject I care about.

2

Shit Happens!

Coldo Level 8 Apr 13, 2018

hahaha a dose of this attitude definitely helps, too!

3

"Do no harm" is pretty much it for day to day living. I DO have one for business. that works really well for me:

"The more we all succeed, the more we all succeed."

Translation: As a small business owner, I find that the more I help other people with their businesses, even if they are my competition, the more I have success in my own endeavors. It is something that extends beyond money, it is about reputation, It is well known that in my area in my niche market, people know that I will provide good service, and I will help other to have a good reputation as well. The benefits I reap in referrals and kind words more than pays for any help I offer to other people.

"The more we all succeed, the more we all succeed."

In the final analysis, it is all about community.

2

Don't live the life of a sucker. Do what you feel is right.

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I am not a fish, don't take the bait.

0

Day by day, better and better

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"It's a good day to die" I don't mean I want to die today, I mean have I lived life so well that it wouldn't matter if I died because I had truly lived. Basically die trying rather than sit on the side lines.

1

I am Hector and Aquilles is Not Born Yet... so Fuck It.

Tamer of Horses, your a good man

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NO, l just wing it.

3

In the workplace its "remember, you have a mortgage"

Outside work, on my own time, its "do i really have time for this? Is it worth it?"

FUNNY

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2

I am not dead yet!

1

mine is "there is no time like the present"

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