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I think one of the worst tenets of religion is unquestioned belief. If you believe well enough... But I teach CBT. Thursday we discussed values which make up our beliefs system. Too many people in society never question their beliefs - even when those beliefs get in the way of happiness.

What is a belief you've had to give up in order to be happy?

Cheri 5 Apr 22
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16 comments

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1

I was raised in a Presbyterian church. Went to Sunday School every week. Went to church. My mom was very religious. My dad, not so much. I believed in all of that stuff because that's what I was being taught...by "teachers". Somewhere in my early teens I "figured it out" and gave up religion, of any type, altogether. Now my beliefs are science-based and I'm MUCH happier!

2

My beliefs change as I gain new experiences. So giving up a particular belief isn't really a sad thing - it's a change. However, it can cause sad feelings. The one belief that has hurt me the most has been one where I believed someone cared about me only to find out they really didn't.

3

That marriage should last forever.

JimG Level 8 Apr 22, 2018
1

Religion requires blind faith. I don't believe in an invisible being that resides somewhere beyond the clouds.

Wishing does not make things real. "I do believe in fairies! I do! I do!"

1

Well stated and a good question. Honestly, I can’t think of any beliefs along those line. I think I was a natural-born skeptic.

0

I don't believe in CBT.

cava Level 7 Apr 22, 2018

I don't believe in it either. I use it with clients and myself because there are mountains of good research that supports it as being an effective treatment.

@Cheri Treats the symptoms, not their cause.

@cava sometimes, if not all times, thinking is the cause. I'm not going to debate with you about cbt. It works for me and those I help.

1

Happiness is a fool's goal (pun). I actually think self fulfillment and accomplishment is a better goal which doesn't always bring a smile on my face.

1

You have to believe the words in the Bible are God's words. If you take this away, everything falls apart. God doesn't make mistakes and everything is there for a reason. Your job is to make sense out of it.

It gets depressing trying to make sense of it!

1

Didn’t have a belief to give up but I’m somewhat better at being my true self, so what I gave up was pretending for the indoctrinated. A few small exceptions that if I did not allow it would be justifiable to call me an asshole.

2

None absolutely none.

2

I have given up most of the beliefs of the supernatural world. As a young man I studied a lot of them because everyone knew god was supernatural. Therefore, anything was possible and the supernatural was real. Today I find this not to be the case. I no longer believe in your god, alein Charlie, or the ringtailed dandy on Uranus.

Life is better when we see it for what it really is. No more hoping for supernatural intervention - I have what it takes to make my own way!

@Cheri Yes but it would be nice to time travel and also be invisible.

@DenoPenno yes! It would!

0

What is CBT?

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)

It's paying attention to the thoughts and beliefs you have so that you can challenge them and reduce the intensity of unwanted emotions.

1

Why would anyone be happy?

Happy is actually not sustainable, one should experience the full range of emotions... I think happy is used because you are no longer pretending to be what your not, some may associate that with happiness?. happy might not be the best word? I think I would interpret it as “at-peace”.

4

My life was in constant danger when I was a child as I had an abusive bipolar mother and depressive father neither of them believed anything and i was too busy trying to be invisible in order to survive, so I don't really have any beliefs at all just energy to get through hte days. My life has been blessed since I left home at !5 y.o. and I have met some amazing people that have made all the difference -

I, too had an abusive mother. It was all the beliefs she planted in my head about me that I finally gave up. I've learned as an adult that I am not stupid, fat, or incapable of making my own thoughts.

I suspect Mom has BPD, and Dad, NPD… The oldest of 4 ..I barely survived. Likely scarred for life in some deep emotional way, other than adopting a personal strategy of purging their destructive behaviors, and repeating the productive … I at least feel free of either PD..

1

...that anything lasts forever..

Varn Level 8 Apr 22, 2018

That was one of my favorite lessons - everything is temporary.

@Cheri Yes, it can work that way, too. But to experience happiness again, I struggled with the loss of something I felt should/ would have been forever ~

@Varn it's sad to lose something/someone you love. Very sad. But the truth that nothing is permanent can also be a good prompt to cherish every moment you have.

@Cheri For some reason the following has resonated within me ..since first watching it ..light years ago 🙂

@Varn yes. Having can destroy your preconceived notions of what a thing is.

4

I had to give up the notion that I could eat whatever I want, whenever I want it. That had to change, not just to be happy, but to stay alive. I think about 70% of adults still need to get that idea out of their heads. We grow up with endless yummy food choices all around us that give us momentary satisfaction, but experiencing being thinner all day (and not having diabetes) beats the hell out of the 10-minutes of sensual pleasure we get from a box of fried chicken or ice cream.

We learn a lot of unhealthy habits. It sounds like you unlearned some! Congratulations on better health!

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