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I was born fourth generation Mormon. I served a mission for the church and spent years defending the faith.
I’m currently in a place where I’ve come to regret the time and energy I’ve spent doing so, after having delved deeper into what I once vehemently believed.
I’m now agnostic, bordering atheist.
I only call myself agnostic for the simple fact that I’m done with that whole religious search.
I now believe in science.

Bligh 4 Apr 23
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38 comments

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6

Be brave Bligh, be inquisitive and adventurous. You have an entire universe to explore, but always question what you see and hear.

Inquisitive and adventurous may just be the two words that describe me best. ??

@Bligh I love that

7

All we need to do is get Mormons to stop pronouncing the second "m" in their name.

I used to day Mormons with an m to many! So I agree completely

6

You know I harp on the mormons quite a bit, especially since I live in Mass and mittens came for a brief visit. Well, I have talked to the missions in days gone by. In my opinion they are misled from birth, there are multi generational, familial, communal misleadings, as you know. They are good people, meaning well. The one thing I remember one of them saying to me is, "Do you think anyone really knows?" One of them said this after I repeatedly (politely) insisted for evidence. I feel badly that there are millions of mormons that live thier lives completely bafooned. Good job getting through all the stuff that you must have had to figure out. Most people don't get to figure it out. Now that you have different views. There's alot more to discover.

It's the constant, required, reinforcement which takes the place of creative and free thinking that is not possible in such a narrow and repressive practice.

You’ve read me like an open book. Thank you for your kind words.

3

It’s taken years for me to get to a place where I feel like I can appreciate what Mormonism gave me without being bitter for what it took from me. I talked a process for sure. Congrats on finding your way out!

Amber Level 4 Apr 23, 2018

Thank you very much. I’m currently tossing around ideas on how spread this new “gospel”. (Ok, maybe not the best word for it but...)

2

did you learn the secret handshake?
do you still get your own planet?

Yes, indeed.

6

I was raised in a conservative Christian household, and I was a true believer for many years. I, too, regret many of those things I've said and done, all the energy wasted. But then you and I are in a peculiar position to have insight into the workings of religion. It can be a useful insight sometimes.

You beat me to it! I will never have the insight that the two of you have, and even though I don't want it, I am a bit envious of your experience. It is a reference I will never have.

5

I imagine it must be pretty hard, letting go of a big part of your belief system, Filling the void. How many decisions you have made that were influenced by such strong beliefs that may now need to be reconsidered? I had 2 amazing neighbours, retired Catholics nuns/missionaries. Sadly 1 died a efe years back and the other is now is high care at an aged care home. Amazing ladies, so honest, such fun so kind. They know that I am an atheist, and although still religous and Catholic they are now far less so. They would tell me often of their regrets about what they did in the islands converting people to Christianity and admit it destroyed cultures and that the religions of the islanders were as valid as their own. They were very humble and most disenchanted with the Church.

Thank you very much for your words.
Indeed it was difficult and painful to suddenly realize that.
As per your neighbors, I’m from one such island country and iwhat you’ve described had become a pet peeve.
Thank you again.

6

It's a shock when we awaken. The comfort comes when we become aware.

Simple and elegant. Well said.

7

ah young padawan (you may not get the reference here)
Please do not fall for the misconception that Science is a belief system. It is a method.
You should shift your mindset to trusting reason and rational thinking. Curiosity, observation and questionning is the first step in this method.
Otherwise... welcome! You are amongst good intentioned and open minded people here.

Thank you Jedi Master.

2

Welcome to the Dark Side. In all seriousness, it's not easy to reject what you've been taught your whole life. Religion is great at making you feel bad for leaving it, especially since you're essentially abandoning your current support system. So it's important that you're finding yourself a new support system.

Since you've been defending the religion for a while, would you mind answering some questions I've had? I'm curious about the church as presented by Matt Stone and Trey Parker. Specifically, the way the religion is presented in one of their South Park episodes and also the Broadway musical, The Book of Mormon. Things such as the Garden of Eden really being in Jackson County, Missouri; Joseph Smith conveniently being unable to show the writings to anyone, and the church only recently accepting African-Americans as worthy of their church.

And while I feel these concepts are silly, I cannot throw stones since I grew up believing in a worldwide flood, the sun standing still, and burning bushes. So yeah, a lot of us grew up with stories that are actually quite hard to swallow.

While not directed to me, I can answer most questions you might have on the Mormon faith as well. Most of what you asked about is true. The Mormons do believe that the Garden of Eden is located in Missouri. The scriptures that the Mormons use have printed "testimonies" of witnesses who were allowed to see the original writings, known as the Gold Plates - but naturally none of them are alive to continue in such testimony - and some even left the church all together.
Mormons started allowing African Americans to hold the priesthood in 1978, 40 years ago this June.

2

I think you have made a wise choice. I can see that you have a dark complexion. I always wonder why anyone of color would ever choose a religion that discriminates against people of color.

And women, and gays, and children, and ANYONE.

1

Welcome & congrats on making the journey. It can be a tough one. One good thing, you don't have to 'believe' in science. It can be proven & demonstrated, so no faith required! & it keeps filling in those "gaps"! Glad you made it here!

Thank you. This is encouraging bb

2

I was born into the Mormon church. However, I always doubted and stopped tryign to believe when I was around 16.

I am very resentful of all the time in my childhood tht was wasted via church activities.

I know exactly what you mean, my brother. Thank you.

2

I would hope you could find some good in your time as a mormon, some lessons you learned or behaviors you practiced that are worth keeping, brotherhood or care for your fellow man(I don't know specifics I was never religious). People can't help what they believe, you have to keep learning forever, its not a waste to be wrong, its a waste to stop searching for whats right.

Think of how worse you would feel had you waited another 10 or 20 years.

My sentiments, exactly. Thank you.

2

Congratulations on making it out. It's amazing that you have been able to leave myth behind and embrace science. It's hard to let go of that last little bit of "faith" and move from agnostic to atheist. Enjoy your journey and don't worry about what was.

Thank you very much. I’m glad I have support here. Your words are encouraging.

2

I went through much the same thing. Be gentle with yourself, and honor the roads that brought you to your present understanding.

I’m not aiming anything inward. My next plan of action is to spread what I’m now discovering.
Herculean task, to say the least.

3

Glad to hear that.

9

Bligh, I identified as a skeptical agnostic, until I came across the term "agnostic atheist." Look it up on Wikipedia. You will be intrigued. I think that may be your best label. The fact is you are an atheist if you don't believe in God(s). You are agnostic if you acknowledge that you can't know with absolute certainty what forces run the cosmos. So both terms are legit. One does not negate the other. It is like being a sports fan and a lover of art. You are allowed to be both. ?

I honestly use and answer to either agnostic or atheist, depending on the context or situation. The unfortunate truth is there are still many religious people who take instant knee-jerk offense at the term "atheist," and there are times when self-preservation behooves us to steer around it, as unfair as that is. Ultimately, I think most conversations are more effective if we can describe our perspective rather than merely slappining a label on it. But "atheist" is great to use when we are expressing solidarity with others who are not religionists. ...my 2 cents worth.

Finally, I get the regret part. But try not to dwell too much on it. Our wisdom comes from learning from mistakes. Those learning experiences add depth to our understanding. It is analogous to an alcolic in recovery, who likely has a whole lot deeper understanding of what it means to lead a balanced, sober life than does someone who never gave alcohol a second thought. ?

5

Awareness comes iin many forms and at different times. Look at the knowledge and strength of coonviction you have now Admirable indeed

6

Even though I knew early that I didn’t believe, once I got older, periodically I would try to make something work...mostly from family pressure. I tried several religions out. Then I realized that I really, truly view it as a delusion. One that works for some folks, sure.
A ‘happy’ delusion: a place where there WAS a heaven, prayer works, etc.
But, I knew that was wishful thinking only, and I’m firmly in reality. (My reality, anyways!)

7

Welcome to the community! ?

5

Regretting the past is a complete waste of time!

9

Try to focus on the good things you did for people, which is never a waste of time. The waste of time in religion is the worship, prayer and ritual reinforcement that keeps you from thinking freely and rationally. Instead of searching for a god, search for the good in all living things.

7

Welcome, you will find a lot of support here. Please don't have regrets about time lost. You have a wealth of experience and knowledge that you have access to that will help those who come after you that will need guidance and understanding. That is a precious gift to have.

I admire your courage and determination in leaving a very tight-knit religious community. You have the whole world and universe to explore. Science is a beautiful thing. Enjoy.

Betty Level 8 Apr 23, 2018
5

Welcome, you live and learned from the experience. I wish more people would

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