No it's to recognize that capacity in another

Sounds narcissistic.

We live in a massive cultural delusion about the nature of real love. Propagated by mainstream media, from the time you're born you're inundated with the belief that love is a feeling, and that when you find "the one" you'll sense it in your gut and be overcome by a undeniable sense of knowing.

When the feelings and corresponding knowing fade and the work of learning about real love begins, most people take the diminished feeling as a sign that they're in the wrong relationship and walk away. And then they start over again, only to find the now-familiar feeling and knowing fade again... and again... and again.

If love isn't a feeling, what is it?

Love is action. Love is tolerance. Love is learning your partner's love language and then expressing love in a way that he/she can receive. Love is giving. Love is receiving. Love is plodding through the slow eddies of a relationship without jumping ship into another's churning rapids. Love is recognizing that it's not your partner's job to make you feel alive, fulfilled or complete. That's your job.

M. Scott Peck says it poignantly in "The Road Less Traveled."

"Love is as love does. Love is an act of will- namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love.

"By stating that it is when a couple falls out of love that they may begin to really love, I am also implying that real does not have its roots in a feeling of love. To the contrary, real love often occurs when the feeling of love is lacking, when we act lovingly despite the fact that we don't feel loving."