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It's really hard to stay positive when everything around you is rapidly falling apart. Things were great until March hit. Back in December, I thought I met the love of my life. I was happy and ready to share it with the world. I certainly posted it here lol.

I have really abusive relatives. I've been stuck in the situation where that was where I had to go. I've got 3 kids. I was about to take a huge risk and pack up and move to Florida to be with someone I fell hard for. Met him here. I have been trying hard to cut ties with these people for good. So, it was a big risk to go some place I knew I'd never be able to afford on my own.

My oldest son (who is autistic) was badly beaten by my mother and sister while I was at work. People like to say that it was accidental, and that they only meant to discipline him and over did it. I'd believe it if it were just one person, but 2 adults attacked a 10 year old. He was having an episode. These people don't know what autism is. They don't believe it exists. They just think it's an excuse for children to act out.

This incident ended my relationship. When you need someone the most and they walk away from you, it hurts. Even if it's just someone to talk to. Dealing with CPS was also discouraging. After having my every move monitored, it seemed like, I found out my case was going nowhere. I wanted to press charges, filed a report... police did nothing. CPS kept taking pics of my kids. My caseworker didn't do much other than that. She claimed that she wasn't able to contact the perpetrators. She was the type who only sent texts instead of calling. I gave her numbers that she would have to call, not text. She didn't want to do it.

I was living in hotels, burned through all of my savings. Tried to put together fundraisers with no success. Couldn't go back to work because I depended on relatives for child care. Was told, until the caseworker changed her mind, that if I go back to the house, she'll have to open another case on me. She changed it to if I leave them with relatives again she'll open a case, and told me I need to go back to the house.
I get there, a case was opened on me anyway. I'm being told I should've gone to a shelter. The shelters are full, so it means sleeping in my minivan. I felt like they were trying to do what they could to take my kids away. I'm not letting that happen.

I've been stuck kicking myself. Had plans to move to Arizona. Got on the waiting list for income based housing. No money to get there. Can't go back to work. I've had the strangest people contact me with attempts to help. Men asking if they could pay to drink my breast milk. A woman tried to sell me stolen property to help me move. An older man insisting that I perform sexual favors for money... all because I posted on craigslist asking if anyone had a cheap trailer, and why I needed it.

My older two kids have known nothing but abuse from my relatives, just like I did growing up. Trying hard to give them a better life. The only option these people had was to separate me from my kids. And they'd all be in 3 different places because of space. Not only that, but one center passed children around frequently. My oldest son would've gone to a center for adult men because the other place won't take children over 5 (these old men come off the street and are the ones you see panhandling by traffic lights). Had no choice but to turn them down. I refuse to let them out of my sight. I will not risk some adult sexually abusing my children. Not only that but my baby still nurses and will not sleep through the night.

Trying to stay positive. Every decision I make seems like a bad decision. I'm sitting with no income, not much help, trying to get away with no money, and all my bills have gone to collections. So my credit is destroyed. Can't even get a loan. I'm stuck at my relatives home trying to get into a shelter, which means if I get in, CPS will open another case against me for being homeless with children. Meh. Since I've been here, my relatives have intentionally made life hard. They know there's a case against them. To spite me, they hide things I need or make it impossible to get to. From hiding trash bags and laundry detergent, to throwing out our food or eating it up, i'm tired of it. And they're rude to only my kids, now. My brother and sister's sons come over, they're nice. They hug them, laugh, joke, and play. If my kids join in, then suddenly they're being yelled at.
I don't know what I've done to them to deserve this. But i'm not in the wrong, here. They are. Yet my life is taking the fall for it. They get to go on as if nothing ever happened while i'm stuck dealing with the consequences of their actions.

Ember 4 Apr 24
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6 comments

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1

Mobile, Al is far from the best place in the world, especially for people like us. That being said, there is a place here called 'Penelope House'; they specialize in taking in battered women and their children. Now, your situation is different, but, if you'd either post or PM me (if you feel comfortable doing so) what city/state you are stuck in, I'd be happy to call my local resources to see if they can point me in the direction of an organization near you, so you and yours have a place to go to get out of that situation.

I know it's a long shot, and not much - but it's all I can offer at the moment.

2

It seems like you are in the system and they are not helping you escape your family's hold on you and your children. You need a social worker/social advocate to help you and your family. I'm not familiar with social services in your state but there must be someone who can point you in the right direction. When I had trouble with Child and Family Services DCYF in NH the Area Agency appointed me a lawyer for free. I had a disabled child as well and they helped me. Wishing you the best.

1

Just try to keep your head up and know things will get better one day. Put relationships on the backburner, check any and all programs you may qualify for at the local and federal level.

0

Geez kiddo, you really are doing it tough. Hopefully something good comes along soon.
I don't know your systems over here to be much help, here we have nationwide services, and social security, so I suggest people move to less populated areas where is it less expensive and housing is easier. Are your local Gov representatives able to exert any influence? I have receievd help from local members a few times when fighting bureaucracy over child issues.

2

This is brutal and I wish I was in a position to offer more than empathy

0

Yikes. Sounds like you need to get out of there.
Have any other relatives or friends of friends who could point you toward some relief or shelter?

Try googling social services in nearby states maybe, if your state won't help you.

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