Joy of joys, went to my appointment with the Cardiologist yesterday and everything is going great, decided to have a coffee and a snack at the hospital kiosk before heading of back home when along comes the Hospital Psychiatrist and asks could we talk for a few minutes.
Within a minute he gets to the crux of subject and asks me, " I have a neighbour of yours as a patient on the Ward and I am thinking of sending him home next Monday but I need a reliable Psychologist who can counsel him, etc, between his required regular sessions with me here at the hospital, I know you normally specialize in troubled children and youths,but this is a special case and would appreciate your assistance please."
I looked at him and quietly replied, " How much as your patient, and I already know who it is by the way, actually told you and what it is all about. Has he bothered to inform you that myself and almost ALL of the entire neighbourhood have been oushed to the point where we have needed to have Restraining Orders placed upon through the Magistrates Court, has he bothered to mention that he has spent the last 3 plus years leaving bible messages and religious threats of damnation, etc, etc, in our mail-boxes, has he bothered to tell you that he once erect a rather tall wooden cross in the lane way outside, yes OUTSIDE, of his property, how about how he harasses the Lesbian couple, a kind, friendly and harmless couple by the way, at EVERY single and possible opportunity, oh there IS lots and lots more, would you like me to continue or would much prefer to go examine and re-assess your patient because I will NOT breach a Court imposed Order for anyone."
With that he rose from the chair, stood up and walked away shaking his head whilst saying, " Thank you, these things I did not know now I shall most definitely re-assess the patient completely."
It seems that Evangeloon IS the gift that goes on giving but also the gift that no-one actually wants.
12
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6 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.What? You didn't inquire about the possibility of evangeloon being permanently committed?
snytiger6
Level 9
June 4, 2022
4
We can always hope.
Sadly and most unfortunately that is ONLY done as very LAST resort.
No therapist can help a patient unless the patient is truthful about themselves. I don’t know how a therapist can figure out how to help someone like your neighbor. He lives in his own little world and thinks everyone around him are evil. 
Redheadedgammy
Level 9
June 4, 2022
3
Been there, done that as a patient. I startled all my psychologists by being brutally honest about myself. The Evengeloon is an inveterate liar.
@anglophone Hit the nail on the head 100% there.
That last line makes me think your neighbor is really a sentient fruit cake. Like an actual present that is passed around family and friends each Christmas, people pretend to be happy to but are already planning to pass it on, and it has been going around for 5 generations.
PadraicM
Level 7
June 4, 2022
4
Put it this way: he is nuttier than a fruit cake.
("Nuttier than a fruit cake" is a common usage in the United Kingdom. The Evangeloon serves as an exemplar of that usage.)
@anglophone A few cards short of a deck. A brain cell short of a thought. Loony tunes. Crazy as a loon.
Just a few to add to your repertoire.
I'm happy to hear that your appointment went well and your heart is healthy. Such great news, too bad it had to be spoiled with talk of the (one who should not be named).
He's stuck to you like rubberized glue. Every time you push him away he comes bouncing back into your life one way or another. It's no wonder that his family live hundreds of miles away, that's what it takes to get some peace.
I hope the Psychiatrist caught on that he is a pathological liar and thief and that there is a distinct possibility that a person/s may be driven to the point of harming him should he return home.
Betty
Level 8
June 3, 2022
3
Imo, chances of anyone in this area actually causing the Evangeloon physical harm/injury are extremely small, even miniscule.
However, the chances of HIM doing himself permanent harm, etc, are far, greater and inevitable as well.
Personally speaking I can hardly wait to HEAR his reactions when, and if, he gets discharged from Hospital, returns home and discovers that those "borrowed" but never returned items have mysteriously turned "boomerang" and returned to their owners, the keys to his vehicle have somehow grown wings and flown away, some of his clothes, etc, have decided to take a dirt and mud bath along with his precious bible as well.
@anglophone Nope just incontinence pads in case I piss myself laughing when he discovers his beloved Holey Babble is coated in mud and all soggy and wet as well as his clothes, etc, etc.
Oh that his car keys have decided to leave home also of course.
Should be quite some show I think...LOL.
@Betty Sadly we do not get many burst water pipes here during winter, some get ice build-ups inside them where the pipes leave the ground, etc, water in dog bowls left outside often gets a thinnish layer of ice on it and many a garden hose has been know to burst from a build up of ice inside it due to a really heavy frost.
Regulations out this way state that water pipes from the Mains to the houses MUST be buried at least 12 inches below the ground surface.
@Betty Well the "initiation" that a Newbie was required to go through was to do as many turns around the Accommodation Block as possible wearing ONLY your underwear AND NOT thermal underwear permitted either.
Male newbies in just jocks, socks and boot Female newbies in just bras, knickers, socks and boots.
All this HAD to be done in a temperature of LESS than - 10 degrees Celsius btw.
Maybe he should move to the vatican, & fix them right up.
Lilac-JadeCanada
Level 9
June 3, 2022
4
He would probably get excommunicated. lol
@Betty Not if he ain't cafflick!
I can just see it now, "Vatican gets complete make-over by NEW Australian Evangelidiot Pope."
@Triphid I'd call him ''poop'', but that's just me.
@Lilac-JadeCanada Over my way we call them either "Catlickers, Left-leggers and a few more "unsavoury" names as well.
Catlick Priests and Nuns usually get given the nicknames of "Penguins," " mobile Pedestrian Crossings," "Shirt Lifters," "Crows/Depo Ducks," (depo referring to the local Rubbish Depot/Dump btw" and a few more also not so savoury names as well.
@Triphid Yes, penguin is popular here.
Evangeloon could lie for the Vatican and Donald Trump combined.
anglophone
Level 9
June 3, 2022
5
Precisely.
He should join Trump's next campaign. lol
@Betty And as the steamship "the United $tates of Absurdity" sank slowly beneath the waves the captain Donald John Trump was seen deserting his post on the bridge and ejecting every man, woman and child from his lifeboat.
@anglophone It sank because it was made out of fools gold.
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