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One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. Surprised, he asked, “Why are you reading both those books?”
“Well,” said the orangutan, “I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother.”

Benthoven 8 Dec 7
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41 comments

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6

Good one!

6

Nice!!!

5

That's cute.

8

Love it, give that orangutan a cigar.

6

You are a riot!

6

What if he's both? Don't tell the xtians they got something right!

4

Smart orangutan.

4

Ha ha ha

11

We never knew an orangutang could serve as a president either!

Marine Level 8 Jan 27, 2018

orangutans are awesome and by doing nothing but eating could have done better than Trump. very unfair on an amazing animal.

Sorry I did not mean to offend the orangutans

Orangutans are MUCH smarter than President Agent Orange.

yeah but he isn't a cute intelligent one.

@SKH78 45 has an orange face with great white circles around his eyes.

4

brilliant i like it

4

Very nice, sir.

3

Punny!! 🙂

5

I really like that joke. It is so funny. I have a special place in my heart for all animals and orangutans are one. They are so sensitive. I can pick up their thoughts. I saw one at a zoo in a small cage. I looked in his eyes and I could feel the pain. It was a horrible pain. He told me all he wanted was to go home. I never went to another zoo.

Boycott palm oil!

@Countrywoman Yes!! Please spread the word about palm oil and how habits are being destroyed by the plantations!!!

Betty...maybe I can help. After 25 years of working in a zoo, I know something about orangutans (my favorite primate.) Because they live NON-SOCIAL lives (they're the only non-social primate)...they don't have social facial muscles. They don't need them. When we look into their eyes, they're uncomfortable! THAT is what you saw. It's very easy to anthropomorphize (we all do it) but, the truth is, orangutans just want you to STOP LOOKING INTO THEIR EYES!

They're really intelligent...they make/use tools, they plan ahead (I can tell you STORIES) and I've seen them construct giant Lego towers.

I'm sorry you saw one in a ''small cage." I wish you could see our exhibit...lots of platforms to ''sun'' on...lots of ladders, fire hoses to climb and lots of greenery.

And, thanks to all who ask us to BOYCOTT PALM OIL! When you fly over Borneo, it's easy to look down and misinterpret all that greenery! You think all must be well. Then, you land and see that it's NOT forest...it's those damned palm oil plantations!

@LucyLoohoo I am so glad to hear your story. That Tangs eyes have haunted me since we took our 2 daughters when they were young. He broke my heart. I am glad to hear that they just don't want you to keep looking. I could tell the tang did not want me looking. I guess I misunderstood some of the look. You can see how intelligent they are. I love to watch them.

@BettyColeman And, so do I, Betty! BUT...when we watch primates, we need to look at them the same way they look at us. If you watch, they either look quickly out of the side of their eyes or in quick little peeks. Staring is just RUDE, in the primate world...come to think of it, I wouldn't want someone staring directly into my eyes, either.

@LucyLoohoo I hear what your saying but that tan was one unhappy guy stuck in that cage in the back where he was evidently being temporarily held. Those eyes were huge pools, all teared up and I understand what you are saying, but this guy had no will to live.

2

Well done.

2

I will have to try and remember that one!

1
2

It is not my error to see. think what you want. It still doesn't say they saw him. I do not care about the bible or any bible, and the hell would you if you are an agnostic or atheist? How did you get here from a post about a zoo? You are a total ass quoting bible.

@BettyColeman For those that are not confident of translations of NT it might be worth getting an inter-linear and also refer to Strong's Convordance

3

"Am I my brother's keeper?" Interesting that the Lord does not answer Cain's question.
Notice that there are no reports of Satan killing anyone in the Bible ....but God kills millions of people in the Bible. And he promises to kill many more in the future. But Christians believe God loves them. How can anyone believe this ridiculous fiction.

they say GOD kills in Bible, but reality is God never even speaks in the Bible except through others. No one has ever in the flesh seen or talked with God in the Bible. No I am not a Christian, but I have read the damn book.

@BettyColeman Exodus 20 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

20 Then God spoke all these words, saying,

2 “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery.

@nicknotes that Bible is not from the original version. The closest is the King James. Most faiths will not use a Bible like that. Even parts of the King James maybe questionable. Much of what happened before the birth and after the birth of Christ was not attempt to be written down until 500/600 AD. That was when Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John were written down. They are a pre Greek that maybe only 1 or 2 people could translate today. Then it was Greek and the Latin. Even today to translate among current languages can be difficult. For instance Roof and Ceiling I believe in Spanish they use same word. It translates by its use in the sentence. I am not impressed with NASB. I left the BAptist church as a youngster. That Bible is no accepted by that faith.

The KJV corrects many problems from the Greek text. The NASB more closely follows the Greek text.
Compare.....
Mark 1:2-3 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
2 As it is written in Isaiah the prophet:
“Behold, I send My messenger ahead of You,
Who will prepare Your way;
3 The voice of one crying in the wilderness,
‘Make ready the way of the Lord,
Make His paths straight.’”

Mark 1:2-3 King James Version (KJV)
2 As it is written in the prophets, Behold, I send my messenger before thy face, which shall prepare thy way before thee.
3 The voice of one crying in the wilderness, Prepare ye the way of the Lord, make his paths straight.

The Greek text and the NASB attribute these verses to the prophet Isaiah. But the KJV corrects the error of the Greek text by attributing the quotes to the prophets.

I hope you see the error....
Malachi 3:1 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
3 “Behold, I am going to send My messenger, and he will clear the way before Me. And the Lord, whom you seek, will suddenly come to His temple; and the messenger of the covenant, in whom you delight, behold, He is coming,” says the Lord of hosts.

Malachi 3:1 King James Version (KJV)
3 Behold, I will send my messenger, and he shall prepare the way before me: and the Lord, whom ye seek, shall suddenly come to his temple, even the messenger of the covenant, whom ye delight in: behold, he shall come, saith the Lord of hosts.

The quotation is not from Isaiah but from Malachi.
Obviously whoever wrote Mark's Gospel was relying on his memory and attributed the quote to Isaiah and not Malachi who actually wrote the verse. The KJV corrects this error but is not true to the Greek text.

I can tell you of other corrections if this does not convince you that the NASB is superior to the KJV.

@BettyColeman

@BettyColeman Lets see now, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Good old middle eastern names for sure Sounds British to me. Oh yeah, King James, I got it.

Of course the gospels were written anonymously. The Roman Catholic Church named the gospels.
From the Catholic Encyclopedia
The first four historical books of the New Testament are supplied with titles (Euangelion kata Matthaion, Euangelion kata Markon, etc.), which, however ancient, do not go back to the respective authors of those sacred writings. The Canon of Muratori, Clement of Alexandria, and St. Irenæus bear distinct witness to the existence of those headings in the latter part of the second century of our era. Indeed, the manner in which Clement (Stromata I.21), and St. Irenæus (Against Heresies III.11.7) employ them implies that, at that early date, our present titles to the Gospels had been in current use for some considerable time. Hence, it may be inferred that they were prefixed to the evangelical narratives as early as the first part of that same century. That, however, they do not go back to the first century of the Christian era, or at least that they are not original, is a position generally held at the present day. It is felt that since they are similar for the four Gospels, although the same Gospels were composed at some interval from each other, those titles were not framed, and consequently not prefixed to each individual narrative, before the collection of the four Gospels was actually made. Besides, as well pointed out by Prof. Bacon, "the historical books of the New Testament differ from its apocalyptic and epistolary literature, as those of the Old Testament differ from its prophecy, in being invariably anonymous, and for the same reason. Prophecies whether in the earlier or in the later sense, and letters, to have authority, must be referable to some individual; the greater his name, the better. But history was regarded as a common possession. Its facts spoke for themselves. Only as the springs of common recollection began to dwindle, and marked differences to appear between the well-informed and accurate Gospels and the untrustworthy . . . did it become worth while for the Christian teacher or apologist to specify whether the given representation of the current tradition was 'according to' this or that special compiler, and to state his qualifications". It thus appears that the present titles of the Gospels are not traceable to the Evangelists themselves.

@starwatcher-al

@nicknotes Am I my brother's keeper? Try "am I my brother's jailer."

That certainly is the perception many times. @DenoPenno

@BettyColeman, the King James is not considered the closest.

There are newer versions (e.g., NASB and New International) that had access to older manuscripts than the KJV.

That is one of the few reliable facts that I learned from three years attending a Bible college.

@BettyColeman Enoch wrote three books, one still in the Ethiopian Christian bible. Supposedly he spoke with God. The Jews and Christians only mention him once: he walked with god. That being interpreted as he did not die and went to heaven. Noah's dad I believe. And, to this day, there remains a cult of Enoch.

3

Awesome! and that just made my morning a little brighter thank you!

5

LMAAO (laughing my atheist ass off) By god ... excuse me, by Darwin, that is a good one!

SKH78 Level 8 Mar 13, 2018
4

Good one!

kuali Level 4 Mar 26, 2018
4

Good one!

kuali Level 4 Mar 26, 2018
8

When I first moved into this neighborhood, I met one of the geezer neighbors who's name is Darwin. I said your parents must have had quite the sense of humor. Do you have Beagles? He said he hadn't come across many people in his life that made the connection. Great joke though, I think I'll keep it.

There was a specialty dog food on the market a few years ago: "Darwin's", and they had a picture of a boat with the name "beagle" on it. When I asked him about it, the company rep told me few people made the connection...

5

OMG that is awesome

Rosh Level 7 Mar 29, 2018
2

That's a good one.

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