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Nine important facts to remember as we grow older:

Number 9 - Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
Number 8 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 7 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 6 - Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
Number 5 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 4 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
Number 3 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Number 1 - Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.
...and as someone recently said to me don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long

Surfpirate 9 May 1
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12 comments

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0

Number 6 made me giggle; thanks for that 🙂

1

In the Beginning you're

Not old enough to know better

Then You're
Old enough to know better
BUT
Not old enough to know

Then You're
Old enough to Know
BUT not old enough

Then You're
Old Enough
BUT not old

Then You're old
and then you're not

0

?. Love #4!!

1

Make me a sandwich, I'll be a happy camper

4

Good laugh for the day

4

Thank you.

1

10 None of the above 9 matter.

godef Level 7 May 1, 2018
2

Loved #2 !

2

Good list! It would have been great if it was gender neutral. Now we have to find a 10th fact that is aimed towards women but I won't even attempt to propose one. haha!

Or just delete #6 and title it 8 important facts. 🙂

6

I learned #5 as "give a man a fish and he eats for a day; teach a man to fish and he'll always lie about size".

Fun list!

3

Incredibly funny and accurate!

6

I'm totally stealing that meme! Great list, too! 🙂

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