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What is the most effective way to deal with Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons or other religious door knockers?

By snytiger69
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44 comments

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7
  1. Open the door.
  2. Discover that the door knockers are, indeed, religious nutballs.
  3. Close the door.

That's about it.

(BTW, Step 1 is optional.)

7

That's easy.

?

With that door knocjer, ansering the door naked would be a logical expectation.

7

We had an old man called Jim who used to come to our house probably twice a month, my Dad invited him in and he'd have a cup of tea and tell a couple of jokes and chat about some general topical theme, then he would find a passage in his bible and try to apply it and we'd maybe disagree or maybe politely listen, but we understood that he felt it was his purpose to teach us but otherwise he was just a nice old chap who came for a chat and a cuppa. He knew we didn't believe and didn't push it, and we knew what he believed was bollocks but we didn't push that either.
I think the best thing to do is realise most people are just trying to do good in their own way and be respectful, if they're a dick then you don't have to talk to them again do you?

6

We have been blacklisted by both and 7th Day Adventists.

You should post detailed instruction on how to get "blacklisted" from various religious groups.

@snytiger6 Pretending they are from escort agencies and late for the orgy seems to be a good start, asking them to explain the Book of Jasher sends them thumbing through their bible, as they say there is no such book, Yet when you ask them to look up the following:

  1. Joshua 10:13 "And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. Is not this written in the book of Jasher?"
  2. Samuel 1:18 "Also he bade them teach the children of Judah the use of the bow: behold, it is written in the book of Jasher."
    I think they consider us too much hard work and seek easier prey.

@Rugglesby Interesting that this book was dropped, although at one time it seemed to be considered sacred. (I had to look it up)

6

Invite them in, offer refreshments and while you're telling them you're an atheist, lock the door. They'll ask you to please let them leave smile009.gif

6

Super soaker?

Yeah, that sounds good. Hit them int he crotch area and then you also spare all your neighbors.

5

"I am glad you called just now. We are about to have a meeting with the Dark Lord, and we could do with a human sacrifice."

5

I would say, you knocked on the wrong door. Then just said, have a nice day and shut the door.

jab60 Level 6 May 2, 2018
5

One time I had some religious nuts show up on my property. I said to them, "If you don't leave, I will call the cops on you." I never seen them sense.

5

Ha, an old girlfriend of mine answered the door naked and invited them in.

5

My most successful strategy involved answering the door shirtless brushing my teeth. There was about six inches of snow on the ground and I just stood there blocking the door brushing my teeth until the guy just left after a minute or two. He never came back.

geist171 Level 6 May 2, 2018
4

I reverse the the position, I take out my bible that has has tabs to the scripture I want to discuss with them. Such as how rape is considered a crime against the father instead of the victim. The I try to go to the actual human sacrifice that is in the OT.

Some of the young mormons have tried pascal's wager, but you can see their the smiles leave and you show them its really not a binary wager.

Right now, I think I have been black listed from every religion in the area.

Well done you.

4

My mother is a JW and they have a 'No Call List' just ask them politely but firmly to be put on that list and they will no longer call on you. If they do then just mention to them that you have already politely asked them not to call on you and that you would appreciate if they would respect your wishes. Sometimes they check just to be sure that you really, really, really don't want them trying to save you before Christ and his Angels come back and slaughter all the non-JW's until the world runs ankle deep in the blood and guts of the 'worldly' people who did not heed their call. I know, it's seriously fucked up but what do you expect when dealing with religious crazies? smile002.gif

4

Tell them you are an Atheist. It has yet to fail me.

Sticks48 Level 9 May 2, 2018

I've tried that. They get get excited about wanting to save me.

@snytiger6 Don't smile when you say it. Attitude is everything when you want to get rid of people. Practice your mean face if you are so inclined to be a nice person all the time. ?

@Sticks48 That must be it. I am a nice person.

@snytiger6 I'm sorry. ?

4

I’m a confirmed INFJ/ introvert. I don’t answer my door, unless it’s family; they text first. I don’t answer my phone, either, lol. Same criteria.

Answer the door like this Beth, should do the trick, ha ha ha.

@Billboy That’s a scary big dick, even I would run, lol!

4

I would always prove I know more about their religion than they do. Then convert them away from their fantasies, into reality. They don't come to my door anymore.

Meiliken Level 6 May 2, 2018
4

I just say I'm not interested, and close the door in their faces.

marga Level 7 May 2, 2018
4

Keep your front door locked. If you do not know who it is, do not open the door. If it's my mother, do not open the door. I keep a baseball bat right where the hinges are.

4

Once I yelled over my shoulder "is the chicken sacrifice ready yet?" They left right away. smile001.gif

poetdi56 Level 7 May 2, 2018
3

Don't answer. If I'm not expecting someone I likely won't answer the door.

3

My front door isn't obvious so I don't get door knockers, I barely get any post!!!!!!!

ipdg77 Level 8 May 2, 2018
3

That is exactly the way I deal with them. If I have friends over, I invite them to join me. I have not seen the same ones twice. In fact, I haven't seen any in several years.

At one time, Jehovah's Witnesses used to put colored thumb tacks in peopel's door frames, as a way to color coding, in order to indicate to future door knockers what kind of reception to expect. I dont' know if they still do that or not. If you check and see a certain color, let the rest of us know which color it is so we might color code them away.

3

I have a sign on my door that's a picture of emptily smiling people, one holding up a bible, in a circle with a line through it. Haven't heard from them since I put it up about a year ago.

Where can I get one of those?

@snytiger6 Amazon. I think I typed in 'no religion door sign.'

@memorylikeasieve Just looked at Amazon. Not much of a selection. If i were to put soemthign up, I'd want ti to be big enough to read and also to look nice.

3

That wouldn't put them of.A swift kick in the genital region works a treat.

Coldo Level 8 May 2, 2018
3

This remembers me of a time in my younger days. JW would come knocking on the door every saturday morning. If you have ever gone clubbing the night before early morning visitors are not on your top ten to do on a saturday.
One saturday i was so pissed off i look them straight in the eye and told them i worshiped the devil.
They never returned..

Rdurham Level 5 May 2, 2018
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