Agnostic.com

12 1

How do I find love when I don't know how to start a conversation?

Mr-Chuckles 4 Oct 4
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

12 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

1

Having some experience with different types of autism (young family member is PDD-NOS; was a nanny to a nonverbal young man), I suggest you volunteer at something you enjoy or support: Special Olympics, cancer drives, dinners to support someone who had a tragedy strike. Interacting with people will get you closer to your goal. Good luck.

0

Go up to a person you're interested in and ask them, "If you were stranded on an island, would you rather be with me or that guy?" And just point at any guy. From there, different responses and jokes will ensue. I say you practice them. A big misunderstanding in our current culture is that it all has to be spontaneous. But I think if you pre-create, rehearse, and perform it well, that could be your bread and butter.
I ask girls about video games all the time, because at that point we all know where we stand on a not inflammatory, but still divisive issue. If they're not down with the Mass Effect, that's like minus 22 compatibility points for the bof of us.

1

Far too often I just say hello, just to see if there is any interest.

2

Let it find you by being someone interesting and loveable.

SamL Level 7 Oct 8, 2017
1

I find it easier to start conversations online at first. In person I'm pretty shy. So I made myself message people and I went from there. By starting online I can distance myself quickly if necessary.

1

Ask questions of the other person, do not make lame complements which never come off right. Look very interested in their answers. Keep the focus on them, not yourself. Keep saying, "That's interesting. Can you tell me more about it?" You will know if they are not really interested in you. And relax. Predators in nature are only successful 1 in 10 times, and making a love interest has about the same odds. Sorry for the predators analogy. I'm a biologist.

. . . and please try your best not to make it look like a "question and answer portion" of some game show or a Federal investigation on who did it.

As for predators, "THEY'RE HEEEEEEEERE!" so watch your back and have a good hindsight. take a look at the profiles of those who visited you and of those whom they have visited. Try to put the pieces together if you have the time.

3

I have always been incredibly shy when talking to people in person. I tend to be attracted to more outgoing men who are easy to talk to, which actually has helped. If they approach me first it's much easier. I don't think I've ever been the one to start anything ???? Just be patient. Someone will come along and you just "click".

Whoah! now, just wait, wait wait wait. Hold it right there: "If they approach me first" did I read it right? If they approach you first?

1

I know how you feel. I have a mild form of autism and it is extremely difficult for me to start a conversation with someone.

0

Just sit there staring at her and hope the waiter arrives soon, "ahem, aaaahhhh . . . are you on a diet?"

Try to listen to Randy Crawford's "One Hello"

'Cause love begins with one hello
The hardest part is over
Now it's easy letting go
One hello is how it starts
You might win it all

you aren't being helpful

ChrisHosking: truly it's hard to get by if you haven't a little sense of humor or if you can't take a joke. If you don't like love songs as a way to find love, if you don't like to joke to lighten up a conversation I don't know how else I can help you.

I also have a little insecurity , kinda autistic even for my senior age, stutter when I talk, incoherent, crooked teeth with upper dentures, sloe-eyed, kinda short (5'4'😉 and a lot of bills to pay. But I have no trouble with girls.

You're a handsome guy. And a big guy. So . . . grow up!

2

Always start with a compliment and a smile followed by a short story to keep the conversation going. For instance, "wow, you sure dressed right on for this weather. I wish I had remembered my gloves. It's freezing out there, isn't it?"
Small thoughtful gestures generate great feedback also. For instance, " Here, jump in front of me in line, I'm in no hurry. I would love a few extra karma points." (Big smile)
*That's just a little female advice.

Jayd Level 2 Oct 5, 2017

hhhhmmmmmm . . .

3

If it makes you feel better, us extroverts don't really have any more luck finding love. ????

I figure I'm going to enjoy my life and make connections wherever I go. Maybe love will find me, but regardless, I'll have fun doing things that make me happy.

As for starting conversations, I prefer a friendly hello and a smile. Works surprisingly well.

As the song goes. " one hello is how it starts . . . )

1

deaf girls

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:749
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.