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Do you split the bill when you go on a date?

Redcupcoffee 7 May 28
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81 comments (26 - 50)

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4

First date, yes. Second date, probably not. Once "dating." Take it as it comes, sometimes yes, sometimes I pay, sometimes, she does. Keep it "even Stevens," when possible without worrying about too much.

4

Lol you have to love all the bragging that many rich posters are doing.

As for me, I put the decision on my date. If she wishes to pay, she may. If she is short, I pay. If she wishes to split, we do. I never force myself on her. She can always make her own decisions. The way it should be.

4

Sometimes

4

Depends on the date.

4

I have. If a movie, one of us might pay for tix, and the other a large popcorn and soda or some scenario like that. I like cooking and would invite whomever I was dating over to eat regularly. They'd bring a couple things if I was providing the main course. Nothing wrong with potlucking it. 🙂

4

Not dating..but when I did..the bill was mine..and only mine..I would have been alarmed and hurt if the lady tried to share the bill or even worse tried to pay for it.. I think it's probably a cultural thing here..but I can see it changing..

Precisely.

I strictly pay for my dates in beaver skins

4

i think all my first days being a old fashion gentlemen i have paid enjoyed the company not that i have that many dates

Rosh Level 7 May 28, 2018
4

I'm kind of old school on this, The man should come with enough money to cover the bill, but if she is insistent on paying her half then He should respect Her without a hassle. As for subsequent courtship dates then the Man should always pay.

4

Equality of the sexes has always become a mere ideal the moment the waiter presents the dinner check.

No woman has ever offered to pay, and I quietly resented that when I was dirt poor (just didn't date, could barely afford to buy food each week).

Once the money rolled in, I just tuned the whole concept out and reflexively threw my platinum card down the moment the check hit the table. I've been in that mindset since (Really? There are women who offer to pay? Where are these women?).

Still, there was that special, "new lawyer" dating phase -- when "lawyer income" first commenced and women expected pricier date venues (because all the lawyers on TV are rich, so "therefore" I must be rich, "so we're going out to nice places, right?" ). That's when I did some basic math and concluded: "Hey, if you don't date for just two months you can buy yourself a sweet surround-sound home theater."

That's when The Penis Doctrine (dems with the penis pay) periodically derailed me from the dating circuit because nice home furnishings became more valuable than dating pleasures. Only after I furnished my home the way I wanted did I resume Standard Retail Dating (which restaurant chains just love), but would occasionally pause to buy a new toy.

Now, I "get" part of the Penis Doctrine's rationale: Many a female isn't there just to cop a free meal. For them, picking up the check is the male's way of showing that he's authentically interested in her, or he's demonstrating his ability to provide, be a gentleman, blah-blah-blah.

I guess I'm grateful that, having come from the shit-poor segment of society, "that" (the financial pain of always picking up the check) aspect of dating is no longer an issue for me. But I've got to wonder how many guys simply exit the dating circuit, periodically or permanently, because of it.

I had a run there before I got married that featured a lot of the same thing, and I did put up with it. When I met my then future wife and she took me out to celebrate a raise and she picked up the tab, I was stunned and halfway in love right there and then! We did marry and had a great 28 year run ourselves. Though now divorced, we are still friends. That kind of behavior makes an impression, on me at least.

4

Whoever asked for the date should be prepared to pay for it.

MsAl Level 8 May 28, 2018
4

I feel that if women want to have respect and independence in every aspect of their lives, it becomes hypocritical to expect a man to pick up the bill just because he’s a man.... no excuses. I’m very independent and cherish that independence, therefore I will not let a guy pick up the check. If it’s something special, then that’s different. But at the same time I will pick up the check for his birthday.

4

If a man asks me on a first date, he pays. He gets the pleasure of my company, and I'm interrupting my busy life and taking the risk to meet him. If a man were to try to make me pay that would be our last date.

If I were the one to ask a woman on a date, then I would expect to pay.

4

I always paid and generally do with my wife to this day, it's how a gentleman should behave, just how I was raised. If a woman insisted on paying for whatever reason I would naturally concede to her wishes but I always offer to pay.

4

I don't ask around for dates if I'm already dating another lady. I don't date in my hometown. I would not have asked you if you had not have awakened the beast in me. The beast that tells me OMG , she beautiful.... A date to me is a beginning of a commitment. I don't date anyone else. I focus on you. I'm not a stalker. It's my respect for you. I have already thought about the desire to be with you and even wondered what sex would be like. If it doesn't seem right the first and or the second date then I politely don't lead you on and stop asking for another. The first date is asking you to spend time with me and let's have some fun and get to know each other. I don't ask because I want to have a one night stand. That would be nice but I don't expect it. That's to awkward for me anyway. If you accept a date with me, then I'm going to treat you for giving me the opportunity to see if your the one... does that make sense to you? Thinking more about it.... i wouldnt want a date with a lady that wanted to pay her own way. Thats not a date to me. Thats a casual meet up.

4

I always pay, illogical I know, some women I date are wealthier than I am.
It just feels good.
The other side of the issue is, I would love to go to a lady's home and have her cook me a lovely meal. That happens only about 1% as much.

3

It's better to take turns ... just draw straws to see who goes first.

3

If I m not interested, I will let the server know to split the bill.
If she offers to handle the bill, I offer to handle the next bill.

Simple.

Did you know going in after asking for a date that you wouldn't be interested? Douchebag move if you go in cold then decide I'm not interested so pay up bitch.

@Xavier
Your comment was un-necessary and un-useful, a double threat guy. 😉

3

When i go on a date, i always pay the bill, its the man thing to do. I was taught that the man when on date should flip the bill period. Also on another side not, what ever happen to men being gentlemen. Opening doors, like the car door, the door the place you going, walking on the car side of the road? I was raised to do theses things. So many women get upset about the door thing all the time. drives me crazy. I new this lady once, she would race me to the door and back to the car door when we were done eating just so i couldn't open the doors for her. drove me crazy.

@jorj well i just started seeing a new g/f and she lets me be a gentlemen which is nice. i just think a man shoudl act like a man and be a man.

3

I try to read each situation. I typically offer to pay on a 1st date and then go from there.

3

I am a bit old fashioned in this bit. I prefer to pay.

3

On a first date I tell my date that I would like to pay the bill if she doesn't mind. If she prefers to split, I say " whatever you'd like". If she agrees but somehow demonstrates, or says, that doesn't seem fair to her, I suggest that she could get the next time, even if there is question as to whether or not there will be a next time. After that I prefer to alternate but take into account if I have more availability resources. Doesn't have to be exactly 50/50. Have had many that never "make the reach" for their purse even on 3rd or 4th date. What are they thinking this day and age?

3

I think that whoever is doing the asking out should pay the bill. If a guy asks a girl out, he should pay. If a girl asks a guy out, she should pay. I figure if you're asking someone out, you're offering to treat them in exchange for their company. So if you're treating, you must pay.

3

This is such a nice civil group. LOL Seriously, I mean that.

3

A long time ago, when I was dating, I insisted on paying my own way. As Holiday wrote, that kept expectations reasonable, and it seemed fairer since money was often tight for everyone in my dating pool.

I often got resistance to going Dutch if I was dating a man since back then (my dating days were some 40 years ago) it was considered unmanly for him not to pick up the check. Got into some frustrating arguments about it, even if I offered to give him my share before we got to the restaurant so it would look like he was paying for everything.

I haven't dated in decades, I hate to think this is still such a big issue.

3

Depends. If I really enjoyed our date I pick it up. But I am good with whatever way she wants.

jab60 Level 6 May 28, 2018
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