Agnostic.com

9 5

Where are your manners?
I came to this app for dating people that think alike. I saw that the app gives you a rating of porcentaje of similarities (the right word just escape my mind), so I have send messages to some people especially the closer ones to me but they do not answer, I saw them picking on my profile but that was it... When that happened I get double disappointed, the first because it's clearly a lady with no manners and the second is because, well, one less prospect... Anyway, when someone writes to you, even if you think that that person is not worth of your response, acknowledge the message and tell them thanks but no thanks... Feelings won't be hurt because there is none, you might be missing in something great and then keep complaining about not finding sonríe that treats you right but that is karma... Treat your fellow human beings nice and everything else will come to place.
#sayhello #messageback #reply

Pedr0 5 June 1
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

9 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

1

Your expectations are just that: YOUR expectations. 1) this is not a dating site. OK. this is not only a dating site, but also a community
2) your profile is off-putting, to me at least. I saw this thread and wanted to see what the fuss is all about
3) clearly, you do have certain level of butt hurt, since you felt a need to go and create a post on people not responding to you, Thus, you are not as "feelings-less" as you claim. If you messaged several women on here and did not get a response, the common denominator here is you. Accept, analyze, and move on.

PS I was not one of the women whom you contacted, but I feel like you really want an answer in line with your approach, so there we go.

@Pedr0 weird how you like to be"brutally honest" yet unable to stand to a criticism. Also no one apparently taught you how not to make assumptions about other people based on your own misconceptions. Should I find you in my message box, I will block you. So I suppose you are correct, I wouldn't want to talk to you. Good day to you and don't let the door hit you on the way out!

1

I’ve gotten some nasty responses when I said: thanks but no thanks. Often from folks who obviously haven’t read my profile(or disregarded it, if they did). Now I ignore when not interested. Nobody is ‘entitled’ to my reply. If I don’t reply, get a clue: that means no thank you.

Precisely. I was going to say something similar but I think it came out differently and less gracious than your response

@Blizzard lol, I thought I was a little harsh! But it’s just how I feel. I’m accepting no more toxic bs in my life ?.

@Pedr0 Manners? Don’t get me started on how often women are ‘polite’ and get insulted, or worse, because they didn’t want to be ‘rude’. Eff that shit; I don’t owe anyone anything.
Do I respond? It depends. Sometimes I might nod, but total random strangers, nah. I keep my guard up and my bubble intact.
Women might feel unsafe responding to strangers, in elevators or anywhere else. If you have never felt threatened, or unsafe, never been assaulted, or stalked, or abused...I guess you will never see the problem with your attitude of entitlement. You or anyone, are not entitled to expect YOUR ideal response. Or any response at all.

@Pedr0 ‘being a nice person is not an entitlement’.
No, it’s not. Entitlement is placing YOUR values/ideals/expectations onto others, and you are so sure they should respond according to your values. Here’s a definition of entitlement: ‘the belief that one is inherently deserving of privileges or special treatment’. You can believe it....doesn’t make it true.

@Pedr0 "It depends" on the safety of the situation. If the stranger who greets me with a good morning is elderly, very young, of the same gender, or we're on an elevator with several other people, I usually respond in kind. If those conditions aren't met, no. I may even take the stairs.

2

As a woman, I can tell you that many of us choose not to respond because a "no thanks" can result in an insulting, harassing barrage of messages. It's often just defensive to ignore rather than respond... sorry.

3

Certainly we can hope for good treatment by others.

When you say to a person "Hey, check me out! Interested?" If they're not, they then have the option of writing you back and saying "Sorry, no, good luck with your search" or ignoring you.

Bear in mind some folks find the idea of a turn-down, even a polite one like my example above, to be inherently confrontational, and not everyone has an appetite for confrontation.

Also bear in mind that sometimes people (not you, I'd think, as you indicate you would accept a turn-down with grace) respond rather harshly to the rejection, and it would only take one or two of those in a lifetime before one got gunshy about the whole affair.

6

In my experience, some men don't seem to take no for an answer, nor do they take it lightly. On some dating sites, women may get over 100 messages a day so it makes no sense to answer them all. It's a Catch 22, really. I don't like to be rude and I don't like to hurt people's feelings. When I do answer and I am nice, but with no intent to lead someone on, I always seem to regret it. Some men just don't give up.

Hihi Level 6 June 1, 2018
1

Some folks on here have been a little edgy lately in regards to some of the trolling that has occured. A few female members even complained about receiving unsolicited nudes out of the blue, so can't say I blame anyone if they don't respond to messages.

0

I agree. It is rude not to reply to a message.

It costs nothing to be polite. I always reply to messages.

3

Dating is only a part of this site.

The phone, texting, messaging—all a convenience—for me!

I think it’s rude of you to tell me I’m rude for not responding to a stranger (not that you messaged me).

You know they are not interested, if they don’t message back.

Exactly. The entitlement is part of the reason I ignore and/or block.

1

This was the topic of another discussion. People seemed about evenly divided as to whether we should give a polite response of just ignore. I too, wish people would respond. That way you know where you stand.

I agree.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:96631
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.