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Do you spank? Should others parents?

I don't and will never have kids so I'm not really qualified to answer completely.... but I think spanking is ok; there's a difference between spanking and beating (I am NOT ok with beating a child)

WhatsInAName 6 June 2
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8 comments

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0

You should never, ever hit a child.

2

What? You're unqualified to say that it is okay to hit another person who did nothing to you??? Seems pretty clear cut to me. Hitting someone is for self defense, spanking is not self defense.

Then we have the spankers saying that society would be better if more kids were spanked.

Spanking is nothing more than bullying, but done by the two people who are supposed to love you the most.

[alien-parenting.com]

3

I had to raise four sons so there was no way I was going to role model hitting when I knew they were going to be bigger than me one day. Whenever I hear on the news of a son beating his mother, I just know she must have beat him as a child. There are many more effective ways of punishment like internet removal. To be honest, I did hit my two yr old once. he was going to run on the road. Too young to reason with, so I smacked him so he associated 'smack with going on road'. It wasn't hard tho but he didn't like it. Neither did I.

2

If kids are being assholes, yeah, they should be spanked. Not beat, but I see nothing wrong with spanking kids.

4

The research is very clear. Children who are hit learn that it's ok to hit if you are bigger and more powerful than the victim. Also, they're more likely to hit their peers. Sometimes it's more difficult to find a good way to parent without hitting, but nobody said parenting was easy.

3

I never spanked mine and nobody else did, either. I used time out then a system of actions=consequences.
Hitting children instills fear, not respect; makes them angry/resentful, teaches them that violence is the answer, and causes feelings of shame. Spanking might make parents feel temporary relief...but it’s not worth it. Hit a pillow, the pillow won’t care.

Agree 100%. I'm curious if there are adults who have used discipline opposite of what they received. Do the spanked always spank and vice versa?

@Alimacbean I have wondered too. In my case, I was very rarely spanked, my dad talked to us or we got grounded, lost privileges. I DID(&DO) do the opposite as my Narcissistic mother. Actually kept a list: ‘things I will never say or do to my children’.

6

Causing intentional pain to a child is wrong. I have never spanked my child. I don't believe children learn anything of value from spanking, only fear. I don't want my child to fear me, I want respect. Isn't that the same as "god-fearing?" Do right because you're scared?? Doesn't make sense to me.

Do you use more positive reinforcements ?

If not, how do you steer your children toward socially healthy behavior ?

Feel free to DM if you prefer to discuss that way

@WhatsInAName He loses privileges, gets time out, we discuss his bad behavior, encourage him to talk about his feelings. Everything that would happen as someone is an adult. We don't go around spanking our spouses for bad behavior (unless they want it, of course...)

@WhatsInAName . Positive reinforcement is of course the best way to shape behaviour. If kids only get noticed if they 'nag' 'cry' 'misbehave'; that's what they will do. They want parental or teacher to engage with them. The trick is to catch them doing something good and praise them for it.

0

My kids thank me for the spankings they got as kids. Not at the time though ?

Would they have thanked you if they didn't get spanked?

@Alimacbean
Have no idea ! Did not come up, but probabaly not !

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