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Do you have to pretend to be religious to fit in?

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7

Yes we do and to deny it make us liars. Let's be honest! How many times do you just nod your head in silence when someone starts to pontificate over their religion, just so as not to make waves? I bet we all do it 2 or 3 times at least per DAY. Our families and immediate friends know the true score, but in school and the workplace we all swallow down a shitload of crap just so as to NOT rock the boat. God I resent this crap! Why can't the OTHERS pretend to be non-believers to placate ME?! Lets's face it folks, we are in the vast minority. Stupid people will always out number us and we'll always be in the minority. We all "lie" and pretend as to not rock the boat and if You don't bleive this you are in denial my friend. I want to share a MAJOR victory I just experienced. I have a 9 year old granddaughter who her mother taught to be a self-thinker as I taught her to be. Paige asked her mother to explain all this Noah and the ark story she had heard so much about. My daughter related this ancient belief as honestly and non-judgementally as she was able to, just so that Paige could choose her own belief. Paige was silent for a little while then stated, "Mom, that's the dumbest thing I ever heard of!. Are there REALLY grown ups who believe this guy captured ALL THE CREATURES on earth and caged them on one boat?? If he was in one area, how could he capture pandas from another country, or kangaroos, or Grizzly bears? And in ONE BOAT??" I just about popped my buttons you guys I was so proud of the little self-thinker. She reasoned out the obvious at the tender age of 9. Kinda makes you scratch your head and wonder why grown, 'educated" adults swallow this load of shit in blind obedience to a higher power no body has ever seen, heard or touched. AMAZING!!!

DebraJill190 Level 3 Sep 16, 2017
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LOVE IT! Kudos to your granddaughter!

only in the last 6 yrs or so have I been very vocal about my atheism. I finally have had my fill of all of the religious BS that gets spewed my way. All of the unsolicited "god bless you", "have a blessed day" "I will pray for you" crap. I figure, if someone is going to give me their two cents worth, then I will give them mine. I don't get nasty with them or anything. Just kind of casually, ya know

I have never pretended to be religious (or anything else for that matter) just to fit in. Not starting an argument with someone spouting religious crap and saying 'sorry mate, not interested' is not pretending to be religious. Admittedly, over here in the UK we don't have people talking religion to us 2 or 3 times a day, more like 2 or 3 times a year, but I have never pretended to be religious and resent the implication that you think I am a liar for saying so.

She is ALOT SMARTER than me. I believed that crap till my 40s.

6

Absolutely not. Always be true to yourself. I think there are a lot more atheists/agnostics than studies have shown, because many people are afraid to be truthful, or just don't know what those two words mean. The more of us that spread the word of atheism, the more people will stand up for it.

Cookyanimal Level 3 Sep 26, 2017
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5

How do you actually fit in if you are disingenuous?

JLsobel Level 3 Sep 16, 2017
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5

'To thine ownself be true.'

Atheist1 Level 3 Sep 13, 2017
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4

I don't necessarily pretend, I just don't create conflict. If someone is trying to evangelize to me I'll tell them what I really think and stick up for myself, but if someone is praying I'll just sit quietly and be respectful.

corridawn Level 2 Oct 30, 2017
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4

I don't necessarily try to "pretend"...however, I simply keep quiet about religion altogether, until someone directly asks me my opinion or view. I find this is the most tactful and mature way to deal with living in a primarily religious setting, while still being an example of an atheist that's also a good person. The handful of people I've shared my beliefs with have been pretty respectful of them, and I think that if we approach them with respect, it will most likely be reciprocated (I'm still aware that many other people who come out as irreligious are disrespected and treated differently, though).

jacksonMB Level 2 Sep 28, 2017
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jacksonMB: looks like you’ve found approach that works for you. That’s great ????????

I think that respect is important, too, Jackson. My daughter was once explaining our strategy to a friend of hers and defined it as "We don't poke". That's now been our theme when integrating in our very religious area.

4

I don't have a desire to fit in if I can't be myself.

VictoriaNotes Level 7 Sep 26, 2017
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3

No I don't. I absolutely refuse to pretend to be religious. To begin with as an anthropologist/archaeologist, in my field, being atheist is actually the norm. I am also at that point in my life that I don't really want to be surrounded by people who are religious believe in more than mandatory for survival. I don't trust their analytical and judgement skills, considering they still talk to and depend on imaginary characters as grown ups. Thus all my friends at this point are agnostic/atheist. I have believing acquaintances but they don't receive high level of importance in my life.

Akatherine Level 3 Nov 4, 2017
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3

ive been single for 8 YEARS, I sometimes wonder if thats a main reason why. but I will NOT lie or pretend to be something im not, I would rather stay single than compromise my integrity and beliefs

RandyWells Level 4 Oct 1, 2017
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3

No. I don't believe in being fake to fit in. If they don't like me, that's their loss.

kiramea Level 6 Sep 30, 2017
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3

I did pretend until I turned 50. At that age I had a rush of independence where I realized that I no longer cared what others thought of me. We all know that old people say whatever is on their minds, lol. At 50, I put a lot of thought into my life and realized their was no need to give a crap about what friends and family thought. I researched what atheism and agnostism meant and came to the conclusion that I was agnostic and I wasn't going to hide that fact.

mbhorner Level 2 Sep 28, 2017
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2

You're kidding. Right?

marinero10 Level 2 Oct 23, 2017
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lol

2

I have a direct question policy. I keep my lack of religion quiet unless asked directly. I generally scoot around the most common question "What church do you go to?" with "I don't have a church. I've never found one that works." Then they, of course, plug their own church; I reply "thanks, no thanks." and go about my day.

Caffee38 Level 2 Oct 3, 2017
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2

well , I have to pretend to be religious , because I live in morocco and it's dangerous to be an atheist here

AdamBeethoven Level 1 Oct 1, 2017
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It could be fatal right?

2

Thankfully, I don't. I didn't actually pretend to be Christian after I burned off my faith. I was just never approached about it or asked a direct question. I said what I thought on whatever subject and they just never brought it down to asking about that.

ApostasyS Level 4 Oct 1, 2017
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I work as a digital advertising specialist in SC and it is my job to meet with businesses and organizations to help them with their marketing. This includes religious institutions such as churches and schools. While I don't pretend to be religious in front of them, I do feel I have to skirt around my atheism when questioned so I am not thrown out of meetings. Lol. I do wish my employer would allow me to opt out of meetings with religious businesses but alas I do not think this would be possible.

AnthonyPrice Level 4 Oct 1, 2017
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I’m sure it is difficult esp. if their religious views are imposed on you.

My company opens their board meetings with prayer, I am still not sure what I am expected to do so I just do nothing.

2

No. Most of my friends don't care whether I'm religious or not.

ErichZannIII Level 7 Sep 30, 2017
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2

I never pretend to be religious. My whole family and all my close friends know I am an atheist. With people that I don't know too well, or that I know are very religious, I'll just smile and nod during conversations regarding religion. But if asked a question, I won't hide it, or lie about it.

ItsmePerla Level 1 Sep 29, 2017
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Nothing wrong with that approach

2

No. I never pretend to be anything I'm not, including religious.

TeeJae Level 3 Sep 28, 2017
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2

No honestly whenever I get the chance I debate people to make them question their beliefs I don't worry about what other people think of me because at the end of the day their opinion about me doesn't matter it's my opinion that does and there's always going to be that one person in the world that doesn't share the same opinion as you or doesn't like you

SharkGirl Level 3 Sep 8, 2017
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When I first questioned I was becoming slightly depressed! When I finally admitted to myself that I was an atheist I became further depressed - I kinda feel like I don't want to be the cause of other peoples depression, so I kinda keep my opinions to myself.

Am I wrong in doing so?

1

I never fit in, regardless. If anything, I fit in better (in my own way( since shedding religion. I never feel the need to pretend.

resserts Level 7 Nov 20, 2017
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1

It depends on how bad and how broadly you want to fit in. But I would never pretend this. And no, I'm not particularly interesting in fitting in with delusional theists, though I seem to have a few friends/acquaintances that are theist anyway. I recently advanced to anti-theist, and so, if it comes up with a theist, I will explain why I know feel a responsibility to speak out against all sort of irrational (and sometimes immoral) thoughts and behaviors commonly associated with or comparable to most types of religions. Because it is not benign.

ByronBeckham Level 2 Nov 4, 2017
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1

No, I don't.


I get told I "should" all the time. F- that.

silvereyes Level 8 Nov 1, 2017
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1

nope, never. I would never do that, if they don't like the fact that I don't share their delusions, that's their problem, not mine.

basskiller252 Level 3 Nov 1, 2017
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1

Not at all. I am very open and clear about being an atheist. I try to kill them all with kindest.

VanoDupont Level 3 Oct 26, 2017
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