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Who is judged more harshly?

Is a man judged more harshly when he leaves his wife than when a woman leaves her husband?

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By anonymous7
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I voted the man is judged more harshly by society. He may be accused of "financial abandonment" of the woman after he ruthlessly "used" the woman for her "best years" and then discarded her like a pair of old shoes. Its said that he must have been cheating on the sly. Now he has "traded up" to a "newer model" and therefore he was dick-napped by some random barely legal Lolita. The man is "throwing his children under the bus" for shiny new pussy. The woman he abandons will surely have trouble getting her life back on track at her depreciated age, but that cad, he doesn't care what he does to harm any other human being as long as he gets his wick dipped. Before the divorce, he was out trawling the internet for sex, posting Craigslist ads seeking low quality woman. He was fecklessly spending the children's college fund money on hookers, going on Tinder and lying about his height and his income and about his allegedly "sexless marriage." He was never actually living like "roommates" alongside his wife; thats all a damned lie, and provably so, because she was pregnant. The truth is he was just making excuses and straying. He will probably slag off on involving himself in his children's lives, especially the youngest will experience paternal abandonment, and probably won't even know his dad. Thats what people will secretly be thinking, probably, its mainly his fault.

Laurely4u Level 4 July 2, 2018

They both equally sucked in choosing whom to marry.


It is so common place now, l don't think people care except for close friends and family, and they will probably choose sides of course.

Sticks48 Level 9 June 17, 2018

If no kids are involved then i think it's equal. If mom leaves the kids then she is judged harshly.

kensmile4u Level 8 June 17, 2018

Shortly after my divorce, I ran into a colleague who knew us both, but hadn't yet heard about our divorce. She gasped when I told her and, in a loud voice in the restaurant, told me, "You'd better find another man soon. You're getting old and no one will want you."

pixiedust Level 8 June 17, 2018

Wow. My father re-married at 54 and she's 7 yrs. younger. They're still together.


I think men are judge more harshly for leaving his wife and women get judged more for leaving the kids. single mothers are something our society praises so in the context of marriage ending i would say men get it worse.

jorj Level 8 June 17, 2018

Okay so we have left out the setting of this question, which means that we're asking on the biggest scale possible, since we don't have an actual "nowhere", despite no setting being given.

I think that the different extremes in the gender politics spectrum are very good at defending that their own side is more harshly judged than the other. I know that in the legal and educational spheres alone, men are in a bad situation because of at least one reason.

Men may, en masse, be dealing with a lot of backlash from the old oppressive systemic practices which warranted civil rights enforcement and civil rights regulations to repair the detrimental situation of women who sought to break free from ignorant social perceptions about them.

Women may be dealing with misinformation about what are the present human dynamics, historical climate, economic organization, etc. which may lead them to think that they are treated a certain way because they're women, but gender-hating is not statistically very common, nor is it unmanageable because to the impressionistic population, they are evidently feeble enough of mind to be brought to forget their thinking, and reconsider how someone is treated.

I don't think there is data (because I didn't look. I am literally tongueing the ball while complete idiots read this comment, thinking that they are on PubMed or something LOL) to directly show that one is judged more harshly than the other, but overall, I can say that bad and stupid people outnumber people who are at least acceptable in quality.

People beneath the best of people may struggle to find the better people, but these better people are only made sick from insults and abuses by the lower castes, and never, ever seem to come under fire from anyone, even when they're not uber-famous and widely loved by everyone, like some politicians, musicians, etc.

I think that whether we are judged harshly or not depends on whether we have come under fire by the media, public forum (not necessarily online forums), which are really only there to regulate people's behavior, and make many humans into herded cattle, when they actually are much, much better than that.

It is absolutely 100% everyone's human right, provided that they are deserving, to be treated sufficiently by others. Whoever is stupid enough to raise a gavel on someone because of some offense DOES NOT deserve the human right of being able to raise a gavel, and their human status should be put in question.

DZhukovin Level 7 June 17, 2018


Yeah absolutely, but I don't think that the answer to the question is based on perspective, if that becomes an assumption. People tend to have a "that's just your opinion" reflex and I want to work around that for anyone who is reading my comment.

Also, you're welcome!


These days I don't think anyone even glances at it. It's common place. My friends already know that they won't be together forever but at least till the kids are grown.

Captnron59 Level 9 June 17, 2018

None should be judged..... The couple are the only ones who really know what happened

IamNobody Level 8 June 17, 2018

Women are definitely judged more harshly than men on pretty much every aspect of life.

joeymf86 Level 7 June 17, 2018

Religion judges women harshly...especially the Catholics. I was told by my priest at the time of my separation that it was my responsibility to keep,the family together...despite his abuse and behaving like a dog.


I chose the divorce, the ex did not want it, but demonstrated many times he was not willing to make any changes to meet my needs. The church we went to was very supportive of him. I quit the church at the same time I started the divorce, but as one of the kids was involved with the church I was amongst the church members a few times. It was a kind of frosty reception as only church ladies can do it. The church looked at it "what is wrong with you that you aren't supportive of him?" I called BS. He was/is the web master of a xian hymnal website, he is their golden boy. I got tired of playing second fiddle to a website, therefore was not supportive of him or of the church at large.


I think a woman is judged more harshly because the stereotype of women is that they are caring, nurturing, etc. So if a woman leaves the relationship, she is uncaring or a hussy. Just my opinion.

citronella Level 7 June 17, 2018

That's a hard one to answer. I do think women are judged more harshly than men if they leave their children. Just a personal opinion though.

i would agree with u there. men are POS for leaving the woman and women are POS for leaving the kids is about how our society runs.


for what?

btroje Level 9 June 17, 2018

Yes this would affect the answer.

right...what's the reason?

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