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What is your response when people threaten you with religious punishments? (i.e. Hell/Jahannam)

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685 comments

71

THe Church came calling here the other night. Asked if they could come in. I laughed. I said "You, want to come inside of MY house? Ok, this should be interesting."
I led them to my table. There were 3 of them.
They asked if I believed that the bible was the inerrant word of God, and I reminded them that ALL scripture has been said to be divinely inspired.
Not only the Bible, but also the Quran, the Talmud, the Kabbalah, the Vedic scriptures, the I Ching, the Bgata Vita, the Dead Sea Scrolls....
I explained how the Bible had come to be compiled, and the political climate under which the Christian Church had been formed to control the population, and why the some of the scriptures had been included and why some had been left out. I showed mankind's role and motivation in putting it together, and it killed any other argument that they had been trained for. (when I followed religion I went through street ministry training and did a short stint in active duty there.)
When they asked the "if I were to die tonight" question. I explained that my molecules would become a part of the heavens, they excused themselves and left fairly quickly.

Donna Level 6 Sep 29, 2017
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Brilliant!

I wish I could have been a fly on your wall.

Excellent reply. I wish I can give it 100 likes or 1000 in that matter.

"Oh, do come in. This is my kitchen. This is my table."

"What's in there?"

"Oh, don't go in there."

"Why not?"

"That's where I hide the bodies."

They know where you live now...

you sound just like these guys!
[abarim-publications.com]

I miss the connection bbyrd009 Am I missing something?

Edited

Donna, you are right on. For someone to claim that the Bible is inerrant, they would have to a complete idiot. We have NO autographs, all we have are copies of copies of copies, some written centuries after the fact. We don't even know who wrote the alleged gospels. Mark had no knowledge of Christ, he was Peter's companion, same with Luke. The whole thing is totally unbelievable in my opinion.

@felixjensen99 don’t forget at the council of niceea 325AD where as you mentioned the books of the Bible were chosen out of hundreds. The big ticket item from that meeting was voting on the divinity of Jesus. Up to that point no one considered him devine and any reference to “ the son of man” “ the son of god” was not about a devine all knowing overlord. It was about our higher consciousness the source of inspiration commonly referred to as devine inspiration. But ultimately when threatens with hell or torment in the afterlife. I always say hell is to Atheists what a crucifix is to a vampire. You have to believe for either to work. Since I don’t believe in heaven or hell. There is no fear. Furthermore why would I ever want to be a part of a spiritual movement that invites fear and infinite torment for non believers. We have nothing to prove because nothing exists. Believers can’t get their head around the fact that when you don’t believe in a devine being of any kind. That all arguments and affiliations with any and all religions disappear. They still try to cherry pick bits and pieces out of a void. I never engage in the debate with believers personally. They always try to get me to prove god doesn’t exist. I don’t use their faith against them. It’s everyones right to choose. That is what is most important. My freedom to not believe. Christians would hound on other religions just as much as Atheists but we have nothing to defend because if it doesn’t exist then what are we defending.?

38

"How Christian of you"
Although I also like to break out "Judge not, lest ye be judged".
It's always good to bring the Bible into it.

HurricaneErika Level 3 Nov 20, 2017
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That's what I was gonna say!! lol I also comment that Genisis Chapter 1 where by the 'creator' got down on doing stuff and over a span of 'time' made everything and each 'day' looked things over and deemed the work 'good'. At the end of the 'week' everything ever is created and it's all DEEMED GOOD. whooppeee. 'Don't worry, mon, be happy'. If everything is GOOD there is no hell (bad). My long way of saying I just can not take those threats seriously.

Go back to fucking Bethlehem where you belong

33

I say if there is a hell all my friends will be there and if christianity is correct then heaven will be full of murders and rapists who have asked for forgiveness and managed to sneak in. So stay up there with your bible verses and hymns and crusty judgemental people. Ill take hell over heaven any day

SunnySmiles Level 6 Oct 11, 2017
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I love the Norse idea myself, Hel is the Goddess of the underworld according to them and she has a special place set aside JUST for murderers, child molesters and backstabbers, it is called rather unimaginatively Hel, cool idea to call the nastiest afterlife place after the very one that is going to torture the nastiest of all for ever.

And besides, most of the engineers will be going there as well - by the time we get there they will have it air-conditioned.

27

I'd tell them the truth and say that I'd already been there. It's a small town in Michigan.

SamL Level 7 Oct 11, 2017
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Been to Hell myself...Nice place....good diner's there, nice people as well..

We used to go to Hell for pizza.. i think it was in a churches basement? It was a long time ago, but as a kid, I thought it hilarious we were going to Hell!!

@mitelheem Now I wanna go to hell. No fair.

and of course in the winter, Hell does indeed freeze over!

24

Laughter. For I tell them my invisible friend Zeus is going to kick Yahweh's invisible ass.

JosephMullaney Level 4 Nov 20, 2017
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19

I tell them that according to their own book, God and his "host" are the only ones who can send someone to heaven or hell, and that by condemning me to one or the other is blasphemy, and also wishing harm upon their neighbor, therefore, they just damned themselves at least twofold.

Chead5 Level 4 Oct 13, 2017
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18

"If you're going to heaven I'd rather be in hell!"

GareBear517 Level 7 Oct 8, 2017
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IF you don't mind the swearing, I am constanly saying "Fucking Hell" and anyone that says that is not nice my relpy is "Well they fuck in Hell and they wank in heaven so I WANT to go to hell" and then smile real nice and sweet, except they can't see it for all the hair round me mouth

17

I just say I'm not bothered as I don't believe in hell. Why waste your life being terrified of a made up boogeyman?

Bebel Level 4 Nov 18, 2017
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lol boogeyman for real.

the bogeyman oh no !!!!
he stands by your bed and picks his nose

17

I have them read the sections of "Revelation" that describe heaven, and point out how fucking boring that sounds.

Rajmarax Level 4 Oct 11, 2017
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Ya, but you can walk on streets of purest gold--- think even soft metal like gold would be hard on the boots- would rather see and walk on grass anyway.

@Diogenes You could, except you'll be on your knees prostrating yourself before the golden throne for all eternity

17

I honestly just laugh usually. It's like if someone came up to basically ANYONE and told them they were going to Azkaban because they didn't believe in Dumbledore...Like, I'm sorry, but I'm going to laugh my ass off at you.

Rory_C-137 Level 3 Oct 9, 2017
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Pretty much my attitude. I laugh and tell them I will worry about hell soon as Tinkerbell kicks my ass

16

Laughter, generally.

mjames94 Level 3 Nov 20, 2017
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Same here.

@BitcoDavid Same

16

I laugh my ass off. I also love it when they ask, "don't you want to be saved?" "Hell freakin' no," I reply. "Saved from what? Logic, reason, critical thinking?!"

LoveThyDog Level 6 Oct 25, 2017
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Ya .... I have no sin.. what did do wrong.....

Soooooo true!

16

Bring it on

Bidamash Level 3 Oct 15, 2017
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Hah, love it!

14

Remind them, according to their religious teachings, aren't supposed to be judgemental.

TommyMcBroom Level 2 Nov 18, 2017
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My aunt for example, called me a devil worshipper lol, she asked me, I showed her the tenets, etc, and she was surprised, that I am not a bad person after all... not I am athiest, Satanic, but, but I have an open mind

14

I just ignore them. Someone taught them and they have not been able to think objectively.

Freemind Level 2 Sep 21, 2017
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12

I answer real simply, meet you when I get there.

slinkie59 Level 5 Nov 21, 2017
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11

lol my first response to always to laugh as I just did when I read this post. how can you threaten me with something you have never seen nor been there. lol

trukky Level 3 Nov 19, 2017
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11

I laugh and walk away because, at that point, they are LOOKING for an argument.

CherylJones Level 2 Nov 17, 2017
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9

Sometimes, mostly, I just chuckle.

Wavy Level 2 Nov 17, 2017
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9

I usually refer them back to the fact that since there is no God, there can be no hell since hell was created by this so-called God. I tell they need not fear, for there is no post-mortem condemnation.

Wavy Level 2 Nov 17, 2017
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8

No, you're going there laugh maniacally and then add that I'll be fine

astrnelis Level 5 Nov 21, 2017
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Ya, my typo- the word should be "secession". What the hell- I even spell four-letter words, like "shit" with two Ts.

8

Meet you there.

JColombani Level 3 Nov 20, 2017
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8

My first response when anybody threatens me with Hell is to laugh. My second response depends on the circumstances, but typically involves demanding falsifiable evidence from them that such a place exists. If they fail to produce such evidence, the conversation tends to degenerate into a mutual mocking session.

irascible Level 8 Nov 19, 2017
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8

My answer is simple - "I am sorry you should feel that way." or "Your beliefs are not mine."

WillowsMoon Level 2 Nov 10, 2017
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7

"Be gone with your tired old tales."

Valscate Level 2 Oct 19, 2017
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