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Why do humans think they should be nice, even when faced with mean behavior?

Eg- customer service, smile and be helpful even when the customer is calling you and your momma names. eg- the idea of "when they go low, you go high". When did that idea come into the human culture? I don't think its present anywhere else.

64 comments

12

In terms of customer service, the person is beign paid to be nice. That is so even the irte customer will repeat business.

I woudl nto object to businesses refusign to serve customers who were not being polite to employees. Just becuse a person is gettign paid, it'sno reason for a customer to act liek an ass.

you are typing like me today

@btroje Then I must type like you everyday! I am partially blind and also I just never typed well. Anyway, I correct errors if I see them, but often don't.

@snytiger6 I wear serious glasses. I know there is an E at the top of the eye chart. My keyboard is not backlit and I am usually typing with one finger. I see a lot of errors after I post

@btroje Yeah, I see the little squiggly lines under words when I trupe out a post, and correct most of hem. I touch type, but for some reason my fingers do not always spell out the words I think of and strangely transposes letters. Like I often transpose c and s, even though they use different fingers. Lately i have also been transposing the last two letter of many words... usually when the letters would come form opposite hands. maybe there is not an equal reaction time bet3ween my right and left hands, I don't know. I have noticed it is getting wrose though.

11

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Pretty straightforward I think...

10

Because who wants to be an asshole?

Me!me!

@Blindbird. Oh Puhleeeease...lololol

@Charlene but I'm really good at it...

@Blindbird ..I hear you..Gotta admit I've been pretty asshole-ish as of late...lol

9

Because it’s who you are not who they are that matters

That's a great wording, where did that philosophy come from?

There are no original ideas anymore, but it came from a conversation I had with a friend. She was commenting on how I get screwed over a lot and why do I continue to give people the chance to. I explained that I’m not helping people for what is in it for me. She had said that People would think I’m gullible. To which I replied β€œit doesn’t matter what they think I am, as long as I know what I am” same idea different wording.

8

To show humans are more evolved. Meeting hostility with hostility is an animalistic trait and we are supposed to be above that.

7

Oprah said she would not respond to Trump's tweet.. She told Van Jones that she would only speak if she felt she could be heard.

Perhaps best way to treat an abusive person, when communication is impossible don't even try.

7

A little joke I like to tell myself "the customer is always right even when they are wrong". I like to think that if the customer is angry wether it's with the product or serviceor even they're angry and fustrated for some other reason and decide to take it out on you just smile and nod your head and do your job. It is waste of time to let some one like that get to you.

6

We're taught to be polite. Especially females.
I'm willing to take the hit and call 'bullshit'.
The whole "if they go low, we go high" thing isn't working.
We're down so low, we'll be lucky to ever get up again.
I believe in fighting fire with fire. Only I'm going to have the
bigger torch.

Totally agree. Especially with the female comment. Doormats, eat the burnt toast and broken egg, apologise like 75% more than males. Many people avoid conflict and want to be liked.

Edited

@Archer Ain't it the damned truth? I did my time with that bullshit. I don't care if I'm not liked. I'm going to be honest, and I'm done taking anyone else's shit.
If that makes me unpopular, big fucking deal. I'm here to make myself happy, not anyone else. I grew up dodging conflict, often unsuccessfully. I did my time in abusive relationships, because I didn't understand (at the time) that I deserved better. Those days are over, and I'm going to be abrasive, and demanding of respect and consideration. If anyone gets in my face, and tries to make me feel 'less than', I'm going to make them cry. Truth is, I'll probably end up smiling about it, too.

@KKGator I couldn't agree with this more.

@KKGator amen sister..

@KKGator Hmm..your restaurant food might often contain high levels of spit.

@birdingnut I'm always nice to people who handle my food! I've worked in food service, I ain't stupid!!! LOL

5

I am nice, tactful and diplomatic but don't cop any crap.
I learend from a real gentleman.
I worked in a bank and one day a very big customer came in and was really abusing one of the young female staff. The manager who was about 5ft2 asekd him to come to his office. Then said "sign here" the customer asked what is was. The manager said, "you are closing your account, noone is allowed to abuse my staff". Head office of course went right off, but our boss did not back down. I really respected that guy, and try and follow his example.

5

There are very few situations that I’d throw gasoline on a fire.
I prefer to help, teach, be of service. Those are best done with diplomacy.

5

I've noticed customer service people subjected to quite a lot and think there are sick people out there that get off on knowing the worker can't retort without risk of losing their job.
I've seen customers say things that might get them shot or knocked out in just the right circumstance if they weren't talking to an employee. It's sick. It's rife in my area. I hate it.

Yeah, they know it, but what pissed them off more is when they see that they are not getting under your skin when you just continue to smile and respond calmly.

@Clare That works great if not a horse whipped underling.
We've seen an overweight cashier have to suck it up with some would be overweight-if-not-a-gym rat wannabe soccer mom told her loudly to stop eating chips. For what reason we've no idea, she wasn't eating. Awful. That's just one example we've witnessed.

Tech support must get yelled at a lot because in the last week have had super nice ones glad to jump through hoops of fire when you're patient and friendly with them.

5

Because it's nice to be nice smile001.gif and in many many situations mirroring bad behaviour just escalates situations

4

Simply because it is the most reasonable and rational way to be if we ever expect to break the chain of bad behavior. Responding in kind perpetuates the problem and often exacerbates what would have been a simple issue into something ridiculous.

I should add that it depends on the level and type of behavior. If it is physically aggresive, by all means, defend yourself.

4

I simply refuse to let people control me. It's like driving, you two options when it comes to people doing stupid things, option one; get mad and upset yell, flip them off run you vehicle into theirs and let them take control over you and make the rest of your day suck, or option two; let them go about thier stupidity have their accident, and adjust your vehicle to the situation that they created and just go about your business and not give them a second thought thereby maintaining you control and continuing having a great day.
I drive a truck for a living locally and it can be a very stressful job, and there is all kinds of stupid out there, you have control only over yourself don't give them control over you by what they are doing because in the end they will be gone and you'll be the one stressed out.

3

Sometimes it is best to put on a calm, unflustered, pleasant face when dealing with someone who is pugnacious. I am not good at this. But I had success with a person who is a hard line right winger ... he asked me questions about my opinions. After he completed his interrogation, he proceeded to snarl at me, telling me that I was brainwashed, misinformed and some other words I do not wish to repeat. I kept smiling and sweetly said "My, my .... we are so politically diverse!" He was not amused. He bellowed "POLAR OPPOSITES IS MORE LIKE IT!!!" I continued to smile and keep a calm facade. The more I smiled, the madder he got. It was very amusing.

3

The math says 90% of the time you get a better result. We would like to break all their bones with a ball peen hammer but that's not readable. All joking aside, we have to give everyone the benefit of doubt, we really don't know what they're going through, it could be a cry for help.

3

I treat people how they treat me

3

I did that recently with a "friend" who is a full on trumpus assholis maximus minion. He harangued me on and on over the phone, and I just kept my cool and let him vent on me. The guy is a sad individual with very low self esteem, and refers to me as his "best friend." Mainly, that's because, as far as I know, he has no other friends, and for all I know, I may be the only person between him and suicide, and I don't want to find out if that's true.

In other instances, I won't take shit like that from anybody; no reason to.

3

As a society, it is in our best interest to practice kindness. Working together and helping each other has been a defining part of successful societies, throughout history. When we stray from that, societies become divided and people work against each other. There's less chance for growth, without kindness and teamwork.

3

Disney says so??

2

What?!? Unless I am getting paid to be "nice", you WILL reap what you sow, and quickly

2

I don't I'm a athiest/Satanist an eye for an eye. It's the best game theory. Retaliation.

From everything I've read, I agree it's a religious concept,

2

This is a psychological issue that goes deeper than just "manners". When I objectify someone, say I see someone as a "typical" religious conservative wackjob. I'm lowering myself. I am not acting "human" and giving religious conservatives the true gamut of personal behavior. If we get into the pig sty and throw mud at others, we're in the same muck as they are.

2

As an employee, I do not have to take harassment. I am free to get up, leave the "floor" (I'm a librarian in a public library), and go to a staff only area (our shared work room/office space, to the employee lounge/lunch room). I am able to call security and have the person escorted out of the building. If he/she becomes too disruptive, he can be charged with disorderly conduct.

2

I have been getting the morning newspaper at 8 a.m for an older man here for about seven years, he is losing it and getting more and more crabbit. Today he didn tell me he was going to mass and he was in a hurry and came down hassling me for the papers before I was ready ( I take the puzzle pages out for him) he was so awful that I decided there and then not to get his papers any more. I quite like that I feel free of having to go into that noisy shop any more and strangely I realise that don't give a damn about him .

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