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Do you think it's easier for women to come out as bisexual?

anonymous 7 Mar 27

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In a way, yes. Many would say that society objectifies women in same-sex relationships. But the fact is that society looks at two women making out and accepts it. They look at two men making out and say "gross".


My initial thought was yes it’s easier because of the male fantasy of having two women. But if I think about it more, I think actually coming out as bi...not just having fun experimenting in bed is probably tough for women as well.

However I do think it’s MUCH more taboo for men. Which is really too bad. Some men are so afraid of being labeled gay that they aren’t willing to experiment certain things, even if they might want to.


Yes. I think it's more socially acceptable for women to like both than men, because of a fantasy stigma that men have about watching two girls get it on and joining.

That is something I'd like to see change, in that more men are accepted as bisexual, and that stupid other men stop using us in their creepy fantasies

Why are they creepy?

@4EvanSake I just find it creepy that that's what they expect of us.


Yes. Historically women's sexuality has not been taken seriously. I mean, even the idea of "women's sexuality" is kind of a modern invention. In the past, whatever women did sexually was just, well, "whatever." No one cared, because it wasn't important. Lesbian, bi? That's nice dear. Make sure to finish your weaving while you keep your eight children from getting the pox.

I doubt people were that apathetic. Historically, women have had little to no agency when it came to their sexuality.

@TheInterlooper that's kind of my point: no agency = whatever you do is meh. I'm not articulating it well, obvs. I'm thinking of some scholarship that I couldn't possibly remember enough to cite that talks about how women in past ages were not really considered to have much, if any, "sexuality" per se.

@stinkeye_a I see your point. They were apathetic because of the woman's lack of agency.



I'm not bi, but in my opinion, it's more socially acceptable for women to like the cat than it is for men to like the donger. I'm not trying to diminish anyone's struggles with coming out at all. Speaking as a person that was previously in an open relationship with a bisexual man that hid his sexuality from most people, I think men have a more difficult time admitting it. I know at least three guys off the top of my head that prefer sex with men, but consider themselves straight.

Apparently my humor level is currently at age 10 because I totally giggled at cat and donger.

Oh @Marcie1974, so is mine, that's why I wrote it!


Yes because it tends to coincide with a lot of men's fantasies.


I'm not sure it's easier to come out. Everyone's experience is different. At risk of stating the bleeding obvious, female bisexuality is seen as a lot more acceptable, and even desirable than male.

This is no more evident than in the swinging and BDSM communities. Every night is bi night for the ladies. Male bisexuality is limited to specific 'bi' events. And they tend to be rare, because turnout isn't huge.

There are a number of factors at play here. One being that female bisexuality isn't remotely threatening to men (they typically approve, and want to watch.) It might be threatening to women, but not to the same degree. Just how much harm can you do with a vagina?

Society seems to function on the assumption that every male is only one brief lapse of self-control from sticking his penis in someone who doesn't want it. And a lot of straight men still feel threatened that a gay or bi man might want to stick theirs in them. Male sexuality is forceful and aggressive. Female sexuality is benign and sensual. So there's still very much the "backs to the walls, lads" attitude with respect to male homosexuality and bisexuality, and we end up with a huge double standard.

The old "Homophobia is the fear that other men will treat you as you want to treat women." It's getting long in the tooth, but accurate none-the-less.

@RobAnybody Homophobia: fear that you might fancy them. Transphobia: fear that, after a couple of pints, they might fancy you.

@NicoleCadmium Hah. LOL. I'll send that one to a mate of mine, though he's probably heard it already.


yes. when men come out as Bi or Gay, society likes to view them as weaker or less of a man.
as if every bi or gay man has to be fem.

...which is rooted in sexism and misogyny. As if being "closer to feminine" or proximity to "femaleness" automatically makes you inferior.

@Crimson67 Just how society perceive things. when i first began to accept i was gay, i seek out other gay men for friendship in hopes to understand myself better. I found myself with a group of gay friends who were extremely fem. it felt really good being with this group at first because i was accepted however i later figured out this was not who i am. I left this group which led to me discovering my true identity as Tim. I am just an average gay man who is in the middle of the road. I am not Fem, and not extremely Masculine.

@RaeBxtchens i was thinking the same thing! so being feminine is weak. well i know some really strong women.


Yes, and no. In America: It's easier in the sense that it's widely fetishized by men, and so it seems a bit more socially accepted. However, there is a stigma on bisexuality of men and women. Women's bisexuality seems to only accepted to the extent that it can benefit men.

So, short answer: Yes. The long answer is a bit more complicated.


In this current social climate, no doubt...I know if I were a woman, I would be gay...hahaha.

You could become one

4EvanSake....I am quite fond of me hotdog and don't see me wackin' it off any time soon...hahaha


I think so. Being Bi as a female seams to have 'cool factor' associated with it at the moment, especially where celebrity culture is concerned, where as being a bi man does not, indeed quite the opposite. Not saying this is right or wrong or whether I agree with it or not you understand, just saying it as I see it.

Nomad Level 6 Mar 27, 2018

Yes. Generally, most vultures are more acc3epting of women having same sex relations than men. That includes bisexuality.

However, it is easier for both gender than it was over 30 years ago when i came out as gay.


it's certainly more interesting.


Maybe. I used to own an LGBTQ Introduction Service and from my experience yes. I have a male friend who has never come out but he's definitely bi.

What was the service?

It was called RCOF or Rainbow Circle of fFriends-had to give it up 20 yrs ago.


Without question. Women are privileged in the sense that they can more freely show public affection, i.e. hand-holding, kissing, nuzzling, etc., than men can towards each other. This acceptance of public 'togetherness' for lack of a better term, translates to an acceptance of more intimate behaviors in sexual terms. Shamefully society more easily condones men kicking and beating each other more than men showing each other physical affection. This socialization of males toward hyper-competitiveness thwarts we men from having deeper bonds and fulfilling those bonds.


How would I know that answer being a single lane, one way man?


yes, most women my age are at least curious, and I think the girls probably talk among them selves a lot.


Fantasies that cannot cross my mind.


Yes, for some reason it's more accepted although I don't know what the difference is, especially since all through history, women have had to fight for equality....go figure.

When a man is bisexual or gay, he is seen as more like a woman and less like a man. So, it's still rooted in sexism and misogyny.

Not to mention that women's sexuality is only accepted to the extent that it benefits men.


Yes. It's even encouraged in media. Katy Perry has her song "I kissed a girl." It's a tease for guys, so there is some encouragement.


Ofcourse it is. Anything women want to do is supported fully by society while men are still held to more of traditional gender roles. That's where all the double standards come in but usually if you try to point the male problems out you are told its hate speech against women and you are sexist or just have bad luck with the women so you are angry. Just trying to support male rights is against the rules in a "patriarchy" and that is why feminism is on its last legs and will be dead soon. Humanitarian causes are the only way to bring people together for real change.

jorj Level 8 Mar 27, 2018

Wow, you really have issues with women

actually i have fact of society on my side as u can see by the other posts here saying it is harder for men. but thanks for the concern.

@Marcie1974 but u def proved my point

@Marcie1974 Have you ever thought that maybe its you that has issues with men? Hmmmmmm

@jorj I've just run across some of your posts and you seem to think that white men are very oppressed. Your second sentence is "Anything women want to do is supported fully by society while men are still held to more of traditional gender roles." That's interesting considering it is general older white man making laws that affect a woman's body, reproductive rights, etc. Hell even our tampons are taxed because they're a "luxury item." I'm guessing most men wouldn't find it very luxurious to see blood running down our legs every month.

You comment stating feminism is on it's last leg also concerns me. Would you rather see us barefoot and pregnant? Stay at home moms? Women are to be seen and not heard? Shhh, men are talking!

@Marcie1974 I guess we should repeal Roe v. Wade because "older white men" made that decision? Or the 19th amendment? By the way, your last paragraph is a false dichotomy.

@TheInterlooper do you know how many years women had to fight for the right to vote? Or to have control of their reproductive right?

But I guess I’ll never understand how hard you men have it.

@Marcie1974 Women were granted the right to vote in 1920. Women's reproductive rights were recognized in 1973. You were born in 1974.

@TheInterlooper what does the year I was born have to do with anything? If you figure the country was founded in 1776 and women couldn’t legally vote until 1920......

@Marcie1974 That means you would have had to have been born pre 1902 to have been denied voting rights.

@TheInterlooper yes I understand math. I’m talking about women as a whole. As in there’s a history of this society being patriarchal.

@Marcie1974 I would say all Christian societies have a history of being patriarchal. However, the caricature of the tyrannical misogynistic patriarch doesn't reflect modern society.

@Marcie1974 If ever there is a time when women's reproductive or voting rights are stripped from them, I will be on the front lines fighting to get your rights back. I would like to see women do the same for men. This isn't an either-or situation. One doesn't come at the expense of the other.

@TheInterlooper what specifically are men fighting for their rights for? I consider myself an advocate for anyone who is having their rights hindered (immigrants, LGBTQ, minorities, etc)

@Marcie1974 What i mean about women are supported fully is that we have made laws to guarantee equality. People are prosecuted for discriminating against anyone. I don't say white men are oppressed, I say ALL POOR AND WORKING CLASS people are oppressed. Each area of the country has different needs for different races but I just don't see much other than the police that really is that much of an issue for systemic racism or sexism. Any time something about men's issues are brought up the man is attacked as a misogynist just for pointing out women have it better in certain issues than men do. Women want men to fight for their equality but overlook any of our needs. That's just the fact of society now if you really take a look at the differences in the two sexes. The pay gap is the only thing I've been offered and it is debatable but I think is a misleading way to interpret data. I challenge anyone to show a misogynist statement I've made and I'll prove why it's not with real data.

The majority of women aren't feminist anymore for a reason. That's why I say it's on the last leg now. The future is humanitarian or we will perish with all the division and hate.

@jorj what specific men’s issues are you thinking of?

I disagree that the majority of women aren’t feminist anymore. Or perhaps we have different concepts of feminism? For me it just means equal, respect, pay, representation, not being blamed if we are assaulted, etc.

@Marcie1974 men die at an average younger age and have 4 times less spent on their healthcare. men and women alike experience domestic abuse, men are laughed at while women have many support centers across the nation. women can opt of of parenthood just because she isnt financially ready while men are told to suck it up because they know the risks of having sex when he isnt financially ready. divorce courts are one sided against men in almost all situations. men are killed on the job at much higher rates than women. all this stuff is out there but feminism refuses to acknowledge any men's rights and try to get the men promoting them shut down for hate speech.

Huffington Post even shows that majority of women don't identify with the feminist of today. It's not a made up claim. This is from 2013 and its only got worse since then.


@jorj I don’t know of anyone who would laugh at a man who was abused. That’s shitty. You clearly have one sided views and are incapable of looking outside of them. Enjoy your poor me attitude. I’m bowing out of this conversation.

@Marcie1974 take care. i would say its you that has one sided belief tho. most do bail out when faced with facts that prove them wrong so i understand.


I don't know

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