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How to deal with religious family and friends?

Being an agnostic is especially challenging when you're surrounded with religion family and friends. Often they will try to convert you to their religion, become hostile towards you or even disown you. What are your thoughts on how to retain a good relationship with religion people?

Admin 8 Aug 30
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104 comments

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4

Do not argue with them.

You just got tired let them do whatever they want. Let them belive whatever

To some degree, a status quo behavior stifles medicinal and scientific progress and humanity’s...look at the current political and climatological predicament we are in. I heavily blame religion, it primes people to believe unfounded and non-factual things. Typically with dire consequences.

I'm not going to let them "do whatever they want" because it's going to affect me and you.

9

I just listen . I am always open to others opinions .

Even when you know those opinions are stupid?

3

Live and let live...let them practice whatever they believe in! Ensure that nobody is forcing their views on other people or on you...indulge in constructive arguments and debates but don't lose context and control over yourselves...

ron29 Level 2 Nov 22, 2017

If it’s kept to themselves. When it spills over into politics (which is 99% of our elected officials in US) detriment and damage ensues.

@ChrisFL "Let them practice whatever they believe in". - 9/11.

1

I struggle with this. My daughter's mother-in-law is very pushy about it. She's always bringing up the Bible, every chance she gets. I have told her on many occasions that I don't believe the way she does and never will, so let's not talk about it. She always looks astounded that I would say that. I never push my beliefs down her throat. I'm tired of having to ward off all these attempts to save my soul. As she's part of the family, I can't just avoid her, even though I would like to most of the time. She has said the most ignorant things about Darwinism and evolution that make me want to scream!

Next time she brings up the bible start either burbing or farting. They shut up and leave.

1

I politely explain to them that while our views may be different , I don't respect theirs any less. If they are persistent and/or inquisitive, I may discuss the reasoning (questioning and considering other possibilities) behind my views, but not in a way that attacks what they believe. I may even share a story, because they help people visualize and empathize better, and they don't usually cause people to feel personally attacked or insulted.

I'm not trying to be disrespectful. I'm just asking, do you really respect their beliefs or are you just telling them that not to cause friction? My extended family knows I don't disrespect them as people, they know I love them, but they also know I have no respect for their beliefs. They sure don't have respect for mine, and I feel no obligation to hide my dislike of theirs.

0

While my 89 year old mother's still around I'll keep my views on the topic out of any family conversations. They have a hard enough time wrapping their minds around me being vegan.

Ya, that would mess with me too .. gotta have my animal!

3

When I arrived in the United States, I was a known atheist. Most atheist communities actually closed their doors on me in times of need. I found a shelter with a United Methodist Intentional Community. They googled on me and found out that I was atheist. That didn't stop them from taking me in. For the last two years, I have observed them praying daily from 7;00am to 8:00am. At first, I pretended that it was meaningful to join them in prayer each day, well knowing that I didn't believe in it. One day I asked them if they will get upset if I stopped attending prayer and church? They all, 12 of them said, NO. We love you as a human being and we are not called to convert you. Since then, I am at peace with myself and them. They never discuss Jesus when I am with them. I never reference to Bible. The love I have received in this community,actually forced me to relax my open criticism of christianity for now. So, it's all about live and let others live as they wish.

1

While I don't suppress the fact that I'm agnostic (although I often have to explain it), I do find myself biting my tongue when faced with people I know telling me what God had meant for me or those who have wronged me. It's rather annoying since these people know I'm agnostic, yet ignore that fact. It's like an implied statement of "I know you're agnostic, but you're wrong, and God has a plan for you anyway."

3

As long as they don't try to convert me, we are fine, otherwise I avoid them.

1

Well my grandparents they're super religious and they don't know I'm atheist so I just go along with whatever they say so there isn't any drama because if they were to find out they probably would try and convert me

4

It's difficult, but if you love those people you have to cut the balance between honesty and respect.

5

They have a right to believe what they want, just like I do. As long as they don't push their religious beliefs onto me, we will all get along fine

5

Respect is a way to get along with others. If they preach their beliefs to me, I kindly explain I have no interest. I don't try to convert religious folks but am willing to explain why I am not.

4

We always have a certain degree of respect or maybe even just tolerance and civility

1

I let people believe as they choose, however, if they begin imposing their views on me, I politely explain to them that while our views may be different , I don't respect theirs any less. If they are persistent and/or inquisitive, I may discuss the reasoning (questioning and considering other possibilities) behind my views, but not in a way that attacks what they believe. I may even share a story, because they help people visualize and empathize better, and they don't usually cause people to feel personally attacked or insulted.

0

My wife and all her family are all hardcore bible thumping Christians. Yes, I said my wife too, she wasn't when I married her. They all know I don't believe and they all know I don't, I'll repeat it I DO NOT respect their beliefs. I think they're damaging to them and society. They also know I love them and I would take a bullet for my wife without a second thought. It's hard, but I'm done sitting in the closet. If they debate me as they do every time they come over to visit, I point out the flaws of their beliefs, but I make sure we hug it out before they leave. I love my mother in law she's a good lady with a ton of spunk. She greats me, calling me a demon child. She'll say Demon child help me out of my chair. Then before she leaves, she says, Demon child, come give me a kiss goodbye and tell that devil friend of yours I'm coming for him. She'll swat her walking stick against my leg and I'll be coming for you too. Then she'll wink at me and smile. This isn't just one account this is every time I see her.

0

I've learned the best way to deal with religious family members or friends. It's too laugh at them because to me it's fun to watch them getting flustered when I talk about how there is no God or how aliens exist or how there's a possibility for extra-dimensional beings or places

0

ignored them

tonia Level 5 Sep 25, 2017
2

I don't speak to my family anymore. I do have friends that are religious but they don't push their beliefs on me. They accept that we can have different beliefs and we still get along fine. They are good human beings and we have things in common besides religion. I don't condemn anyone for their beliefs. I can find enough in common with other humans and don't engage in debates about religion.

0

My family is a very mixed group of Christians, Jew's, Atheist, and Nones. We all accept each other and get along no fight's about religion.

0

Tell them the truth. When religion comes up most of them are like, "I know you don't believe, but I do type of thing and then we discuss topic.' I have an awesome family who believe you should not push religion on others because it's rude.

0

I have clearly stated my positions on belief and religion. Family and friends know that I can give as well as I take. Some relationships deserve to die on principle. I'm comfortable with that.

0

I was slightly bothered recently to find out my mother purposely excludes me from some facebook posts, as I never respond rudely or anything to her beliefs. It's probably best though, I try to just not bring it up, but there are times I just cannot sit idly by either. It's a tough road to walk sometimes.

1

I just smile and tell them I love them. What else would you do? My personal beliefs are my own, and I value their right to believe what they want.

1

we just don't talk about it much, just talk about other topics instead

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