Oh hell, no to asking someone to repay the money you spent on a date, once the date doesn’t go ...

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 8, 2018:

Yeah that’s petty and childish and also a great indication that you correctly chose not to see them again

I do not own a TV.

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 7, 2018:

Jeopardy airs lots of political ads because old people vote.

I am certain of the unconditional love I have for my children.

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 7, 2018:

I have found “unconditional love” to be one of many cultural ideas about love that is very dangerous, ESPECIALLY in abusive relationships. For me, loving someone unconditionally meant loving him while he lied and stole and manipated and treated me very badly. Meanwhile, ironically, his “love” was always conditional on me doing why he wanted me to do, and was withdrawn whenever I failed to do so. Unconditional love should only be given to one’s children.

The role of freedom and autonomy in romantic relationships--this is something I now take very ...

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 6, 2018:

This is something that freaks me out. My ex would never tell me that I couldn’t do something - instead he would tell me that I was a terrible person for doing or wanting anything that wasn’t about taking care of him. He made a point of saying how he was “not a controlling person” and called ME controlling if I wanted us to make a big decision together, or if I wanted him to be accountable to us, or consider our son’s needs, in his choices. After that, I’m Just not going to put up with anyone violating my boundaries.

I grew up with a very Hollywood rom-com notion about love in that I believed everyone (I mean ...

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 6, 2018:

I used to be such a romantic - as a tween I fantasized constantly about meet-cutes with a boy who was nice to me and made me feel special. And then I met a boy who did that - for a very short while. The more connected and committed I got, the worse he treated me. But he kept me believing that he loved me, and that no one else could ever love me like he did, even while he treated me worse and worse. I always believed that things would be better “when” - when we were grown-up, when we lived together, when we got married. We had a child. We got married. And things only got worse. In hindsight I know that I was trapped in a toxic, abusive relationship. He never really loved me - he liked having me, and having me do things for him, but when a person is willing to hurt you to get something they want, they don’t love you. My life got SOOOO much better when we split. safer, happier, more secure and more fulfilling. There was nothing I got from my marriage that is missing from my life now (okay ONE thing). Sometimes I wish I knew what it is to really be loved, and I am not completely closed off to the possibility, but I don’t have any strong desire to find a relationship.

I know this isn't really the group for this, but this and one other are the two I am most ...

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 5, 2018:

I took one of those this year too!

Some guy who just PM'd me did this. Ugh.

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 5, 2018:

Yeah that’s gross. I never respond to a message like that.

Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future!..

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 4, 2018:

Predicting the past is a bit easier ?

Is there an official policy on hate speech?

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 4, 2018:

@admin does Agnostics.com have a hate speech policy?

So weird to see my ex-husband’s profile pop up on Match as a fit for me.

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Ew. Uncomfortable.

Come on guys, you know we have all been there .. I have hours of my life that I will never get back

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Hey I got ALL the boxes! ?

Has anyone here had to deal with a Covert Narcissist?

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 3, 2018:

My ex was not an obvious narc - could be described as covert, toxic or sociopathic. It didn’t come across in his appearance, but in how he expected to be treated - like only his needs and feelings should matter to him or anyone else. Like others exist merely to meet his needs. He literally could not understand why I expected him to care about my needs or feelings - while expecting me to attend to his every whim at the expense of everything and everyone else. Totally different standards for how I should treat him and how he treated me. No matter what I did or gave or sacrificed it could never be enough.

What's your favorite burger place?

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Red Robin does quite well for a chain but is restaurant quality not fast food.

Why do so many males hover or look at my profile?

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I sometimes look at someone’s profile when they have posted or commented.

A guy with “good Christian values” who is “a child of God” looking for a calm, feminine ...

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 3, 2018:

He basically said he is looking for a woman who does as he says - apparently he’s looking to MAKE someone that way rather than find her.

My latest Coffee Meets Bagel. COME ON, REALLY?

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I joined CMB recently and am finding it very superficial. They advertise that “guys make the first move” but from what I can tell, guys pre-select a generic introductory message to send to anyone they mutually match with. And I have had a few exchanges where I wondered if there’s really a person typing or just an algorithm picking from a list of messages.

Am I over reacting?

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 3, 2018:

My perception is that maybe you invested too much emotionally in a first date. It is only a first date - it is not a relationship, it is literally the first opportunity to meet and decide if you BOTH want to continue to explore it. The last time I had a first date I was excited about, he didn’t feel the same. A bit disappointing but not something I was really upset about because it was a FIRST DATE and that’s how it goes sometimes.

Say buddy, can you find a better parking spot

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Haha!

Satan Refuses To Accept Any More Catholic Priests In Hell

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Oh wow that last sentence though, that’s too real.

Steven Pinker

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 3, 2018:

Exactly

[songhanhphuc.org] Interesting reading. Take it as a grain of salt.

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I agree with this core message of this even though I don’t buy the “soulmates” or “meant to be” thing. I stayed in a bad relationship for a long time with someone who treated me very badly, and convinced me that I did not deserve better. Nothing makes single look better than being in a painful, draining relationship.

I have been physically and emotionally abused by my father for almost 30 years, and bullied by ...

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I suggest you don’t set “normal” as a goal. Instead, seek happy, healthy, making the world a better place, etc. Abuse leaves a scar - it will always be a part of who you are - but it will show less, hurt less, as you get further from it.

I have Anisocoria.

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 3, 2018:

I have a worm farm!

I've been single for a year now and thoroughly enjoying myself.

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 2, 2018:

I am 3 years divorced and most of the folks in my circle are happily paired. I rarely notice or think about it. Then, I wasn’t really used to socializing as a couple so it doesn’t feel like a loss to me. Also we don’t do “couple-y” things so maybe that too.

Ok, wow September already. Let's do this!

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 1, 2018:

SSSHHHHHHHH

Tigers forever!

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 1, 2018:

Hey a fellow Michigander!

Oh my goodness I'm climbing out of my skin I've had this cast on now for a month and a half I feel ...

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 1, 2018:

Oh no! I feel you - I have been in casts and splints and braces since December. It is so frustrating! Good luck with your recovery!

“I’m not looking for a serious relationship.

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 1, 2018:

I appreciate when people are upfront about what they are looking for. This isn’t quite as direct as “I just want to bang you” but it makes the point.

Came on my FB feed from a few years ago, I was crying.

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 1, 2018:

Wow some of those are GREAT!

Indulging the inner snark safely

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 1, 2018:

Haha this reminds me of when I was so aggravated trying to get into an account that I change a pe to include the letters PITA!

Gotta throw myself a pity party for a minute.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 31, 2018:

Oh man, I’m sorry. And you’ve caught me completely without a good joke!

Are agnostics and atheists smarter?

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 31, 2018:

On average, atheists are more intelligent than the general population. But there are plenty of not-too-bright atheists out there. It’s just that people who are more intelligent are more likely to be atheists than not smart people.

Respect. [npr.org]

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 31, 2018:

I saw this - very cool!

I'm interested in disusing good atheist books, atheist concerns, and am wondering if it is even ...

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 31, 2018:

Over and over through history people have made up stories of all-powerful beings to explain the things they don’t understand. I think there always will be, though hopefully fewer as humans have better explanations for things.

I hate being diabetic, insulin cost a lot, now its cutting into my weed budget.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 31, 2018:

(Good) Weed is hard to grow, a huge financial investment, a ton of work, and it might suck.

I don’t watch network tv as a rule but my daughter watches This Is Us and I caught an episode on ...

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 31, 2018:

This is Us is a GREAT show! Two seasons and almost every episode has made me ready. I am binge-watching Dexter at the moment.

More drama and cruelty from my son and his wife(post below about the details).

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 31, 2018:

Ugh I’m sorry you’re dealing with this - stay strong!

So what’s for dinner tonight? I’m fixing chicken tikka masala with basmati rice and naan bread.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 31, 2018:

Yum!

Real strength.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 31, 2018:

I hope she knows how proud of her you are!

I fucking love the open honest conversations we can have here! I've been here..what..3 days?

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 30, 2018:

It has turned out to be a great resource - enjoy!

Reason 23 why I'm dateless.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 30, 2018:

And did you think of the perfect, meet-cute response thirty minutes later? That’s what I do ?

Forever heartache on Google.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 30, 2018:

Wow I never thought about that. I just went to get a view of my grandparents house. Bittersweet.

RANT: When you have to ask for an apology and tell the offender exactly what to apologize for, it's ...

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 29, 2018:

I really feel this. My ex was textbook emotionally abusive. He was controlling, manipulative, cruel, chronically dishonest, and willingly screwed me over any time that was the easiest way for him to get what he wanted- and he didn’t see any reason why hurting me should factor into his decision-making. Since our divorce, he has only expressed remorse that it didn’t work out for him, not for the harm he did to me. So the closest to an apology was to say “I was immature” or “I screwed up.” No - you were an abusive bully. As frustrating as that is, I realize that if he had the emotional capacity to feel remorse for harming me, he would not have continued to do so for many years.

Question for the ladies: If you had 5 men, all meeting your personal physical prerequisites for ...

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 29, 2018:

Honesty, curiousity, empathy, intelligence, sense of humor, responsibility Turn offs: rudeness, bullying

I guess it's all in how you look at it!

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 29, 2018:

From Elfaba’s POV!

Bill O'Reilly is told the truth about Mollie Tibbetts. [instagram.com]

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 29, 2018:

Oh and her family came out against using her name as a play against immigrants. Their statement hit strongly on how the problem is not immigrants but men who don’t know how to accept “no” for an answer.

Bill O'Reilly is told the truth about Mollie Tibbetts. [instagram.com]

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 28, 2018:

Yes, they finally found an immigrant who killed a white woman and they will be re-telling that story while dozens of other women are killed by their romantic partners.

I need help.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 28, 2018:

Listen. Encourage them to see professional help. If you think they are suicidal ask directly if they are thinking of suicide. Refer to the lifeline. Focus on staying safe right now - remove lethal means from the home. Find out if thy have a plan. If they do, press to get immediate help. Good luck

Another question for the group.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 28, 2018:

Good intentions. Nice gesture. Showing you that he listens. Nothing to be disappointed about.

Other dating sites.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 28, 2018:

How does Facebook show me ads for things I have literally only THOUGHT of searching for, but doesn’t know I’m an atheist?!

Wow, we have a 41% compatibility. So, you’re saying there’s a chance? LMAO.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 28, 2018:

Don’t put to much stock in the percentages on this site - they don’t ask enough questions to be valid measures of anything!

Regarding age, how much younger or older are you willing to go in order to date someone?

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 28, 2018:

I tend to look up to 10 years older than myself. But if someone was a really good fit but a bit older than that, I would give it a chance.

When you know a friend is hurting, reach out.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 28, 2018:

Public service announcement - use it, share it, support it

Anyone else get a temporary DNS Error on Agnostic.com today ?

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 27, 2018:

Not me!

New to the site today.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 27, 2018:

Haha “first amendment” protection from dating discrimination? ? chalk that one up to “no great loss!”

A few months back Trump was bashing Canada and young Mr.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 27, 2018:

I’ve heard several stories about people who feel the need to apologize for Trump while visiting other countries.

Besides intimacy.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 27, 2018:

I got pretty much nothing from my marriage. Like, a shocking degree of nothing, so there’s not much to miss. But every once in a while I wake up from a nightmare and wish there was someone to put my back against.

Has anyone else suffered physical symptoms from dealing with a narcissist?

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 27, 2018:

I had weekly migraine headaches, chronic exhaustion and stomach issues for most of my marriage to a narcissist. I thought it was just how I felt. Now that I am free of him I only get occasional, less severe migraines, have infrequent stomach symptoms, I sleep better and have much more energy. It was a combination of things. He demanded that every ounce of my time and energy be focused on his needs. He caused me chronic, unbearable stress, but I was not allowed to be stressed, worried, or upset. I WAS allowed to be tired. So a lot of my emotional stress manifested as physical symptoms.

Say something ?

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 27, 2018:

Awesome!!

Good Morning! Sharing what I am most proud of today ?

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 27, 2018:

Cool! My son is a sax player too!

Hello y’all.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 27, 2018:

Well, for one thing this site hasn’t really reached the “critical mass” of users that it takes to work as a dating site. Non-religious belief is high on my list but definitely not the ONLY thing on my list. I have probably looked at a couple hundred people nearby me on other sites, and there are just not that many people within a reasonable distance on this site yet. And I live in a very educated & liberal mid-sized city, with a major city close enough. So presumable other area had much fewer users. So, don’t worry if this site isn’t working as a dating site for you yet.

Vegetable and beef lasagna; mushroom, bell pepper, zucchini, beef, cheeses, sauce with lots of herbs...

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 26, 2018:

Tofu? Something that is only pretending to be something you want.

Well, after a year of long distance negotiations, my divorce is final.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 26, 2018:

I know it’s a difficult process but it only gets easier once you’re free.

Elizabeth Warren is introducing a bill to mandate worker representation on boards of directors, etc.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 25, 2018:

Interesting! I work in connection with a Native health center and an associated system of care - both include customer/client/patient participation in boards and decision making as key goals.

I asked the cafeteria at work for two sides.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 25, 2018:

Haha not a bad problem to have!

Man.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 25, 2018:

“Turned 50 with very little notice” ? I feel that!

Got any good pictures?

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 24, 2018:

Trip to Alaska last April

Anyone still wake up screaming from the nightmares?

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 24, 2018:

Ugh I’m sorry that’s stressful. When I dream about my ex, I wake up feeling hurt and frustrated and annoyed, which is how I spent most of my marriage.

My abusive ex's friend is apparently a regular in my local watering hole.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 24, 2018:

He’s not just friends of an abuser. A man who would call you a name without even knowing you is also abusive. Birds of a feather... I guess.

So question of course.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 24, 2018:

I’m a non-drinker. I would be fine with someone who drinks socially. I would not be comfortable with a partner who regularly drinks to intoxication. But that’s me. I think as adults, you are willing to compromise some things for the right relationship and not others, and those things are different for everyone.

So my 5 am trip to kansas city was super eventful and educational and destructive I can't wait to ...

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 23, 2018:

Sounds like a good story!

"It's not what I say, it's what the Bible says."

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 23, 2018:

I don’t. Citing the Bible as a source is a clear indicator of lack of reasoning skills.

This could a good perplexing question for a religious type.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 23, 2018:

Don’t go confusing my dogma with logic! ?

Some Venn for the morning...

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 23, 2018:

This one is making the rounds. Even some non-atheist friends have posted it ?.

It's a damn shame that poor Molly Tibbets was slaughtered by an illegal MALE immigrant.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 22, 2018:

Yeah figuring this is going to be the poster case for “violent brown immigrants”

What did you learn today? (I learned not to eat salmon that's been in the fridge too long)

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 22, 2018:

Oooh that’s a rough lesson to learn. Same goes for lasagna, btw ?

Yay!!! Level Seven!! I really want a tee shirt. Level 8 seems soooo far though.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 22, 2018:

It is - I have been level 7 FOREVER!

We had the final hearing for the CAO and PSO regarding my stepson last week.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 22, 2018:

So glad that is settled and you and the children can move forward with your lives with out the abusive a-hole.

Thanks to this site I am chatting with a good man offline.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 22, 2018:

Good for you! Enjoy it.

There was just a story on the news that says the average cost for a first date is $102, higher in ...

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 22, 2018:

Why on earth would people invest that much in someone they have never met? I’m all about low key, cheap first dates for getting to know each other - meet for coffee or a drink if you drink. A movie? For a first date? That’s a great way to find out what it’s like sitting next to someone in the dark not speaking.

Holy shitballs.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 22, 2018:

Good luck. Hopes high, expectations low!

The new self-help book for the honesty-challenged among us, co-authored by Donald Trump and Rudy ...

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 21, 2018:

Seems about right

Between the press and removing security clearances, August 16, 2018, will be the day that began the ...

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 21, 2018:

Let’s hope so

To reuse or not to reuse, that is the question.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 21, 2018:

I am increasingly aware of the impact we have on our environment. We create so much trash, pollution, etc and I would much rather give things to someone who will use them than have them go into landfills. Good for you!

Two legends. [tapatalk.com]

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 21, 2018:

This made me smile!

Nothing loses my interest ?

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 21, 2018:

Hmm that could’ve saved me a lifetime of hurt.

So, my son (16) and I are planning a trip to D.C. For the weekend. Anyone would like to join us?

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 21, 2018:

I have been to DC twice this year. I highly recommend an evening monuments tour and the natural history museum of the Smithsonian!

I would like some feedback.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 21, 2018:

Just today I heard the comment that as men get more successful, their dating pool expands, but as women get more successful, their pool shrinks. I figure any man who is intimidated or put-off by my intelligence and education is not the guy for me.

Few days ago.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 21, 2018:

Well, were you brutish, hostile, or dismissive of her feelings?

Long story, here.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 21, 2018:

Oh crap. That is a terrible situation to be in. And it’s definitely bullying - “hand over your legal rights or you’re out on the street.” I wonder if such a decision made out of coersion would even be legal. I’m not sure if you are looking for advice but I’m going to offer some in case you are. First, unfortunately, I suggest you make every effort to find other living arrangements. Second, I would suggest that you approach this alone with whichever of your children is more compassionate and sympathetic to you. And approach it by asking questions - especially, what decisions and why do they think you are not capable of making for yourself? Maybe also, why did they feel it was appropriate to involve your brother in discussions about you when they know that his judgment is based mostly on your lack of religion? I’m really sorry you are going through this.

I like to start from the assumption that people are capable of making conscious choices for ...

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 20, 2018:

Some people do. Many, I think. It is wise to remember that others have reasons for their POV even if it makes no sense to you.

So the Mormons want to change their name.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 20, 2018:

Potato, potato

Took me a minute....

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 20, 2018:

So there’s an upside for Trump fans

This pizza place salad has wilted brown bits. Why do I keep ordering salad from pizza places?

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 20, 2018:

Wtf are the wilted brown bits?

Comparison

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 20, 2018:

Huh is that all?

It would be so nice to die tonight! Sucks! Keep waking up and living! LOL! If you want to call this ...

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 20, 2018:

Are you ok?

Where there is no talk going on about the most concerning aspects of a relationship.

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 20, 2018:

I mean, if there ARE concerning things about the relationship and no one is talking about them, there isn’t much of a relationship. Certainly not a healthy one.

Don't you hate those "feel free to send me a message" messages?

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 20, 2018:

Especially when it’s the only content of a profile!

How do you or did you handle it when you’re texting someone and they abruptly disappear out of the...

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 20, 2018:

Nothing. That’s how texting goes.

This can be played on both sides, but being single for a while, and on several other dating sites ...

A2Jennifer comments on Aug 20, 2018:

A lot of those. Also negativity is a put-off - “No liars or cheaters” just says you are bitter.