If you could wipe 3 words from existence, which would you choose?

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 20, 2018:

I have to go with “libtard.” Not really a word I know but still... other than that I would vote for words that are used to diminish and marginalize people. Like n***** and faggot.

I'm interested in what everyone thinks about morality.

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 20, 2018:

There are assholes everywhere. Religious folks may base their actions, good or bad, in their religion. That is, it might guide them to be good people or they might use it to justify bad/harmful behavior. Non-believers are no different. What I believe as an atheist is that people have a responsibility to others (rather than to god) to be good people. Other atheists might believe that the only thing they are accountable to is themselves. Maybe people who are inclined to be bad people just use whatever they believe in (or don’t) to justify it.

When should anatomy/health/sex education be introduced into a child’s life?

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 20, 2018:

With your own kids, Age appropriate information at all ages! If they are old enough to ask they are old enough to know. Conversations about privacy and private parts, that boys and girls have different parts, may start when they are leaving the diaper stage. Talks about respecting your own body and how you don’t touch people who don’t want to be touched. There are “where do babies come from” talks and talks about feelings. Conversations about physical and emotional consequences of sexual activity. As kids get older the conversations are more specific. And at every stage you remind them to “make good choices!”

Discussion about the latest site footer It reads "Agnostic.

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 19, 2018:

I would not expect an agnostic site to present a “balanced” view of belief/non-belief. I would expect it to be a supportive community for non-believers. Really, you don’t need to look hard to get a religious perspective, this is the other side of the coin. I assume “agnostic.com” was selected because you need something brief and memorable to name website, but it would be nice if the tag line could be inclusive of all non-believers.

Religious Shit Taoism Shit happens.

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 19, 2018:

That’s awesome!

I suspect a scammer in my messages, what should I do?

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 18, 2018:

Do anything EXCEPT give them the benefit of the doubt. If your gut tells you someone is trying to take advantage of you, trust yourself. Not them.

What Have Your Relationships Taught You?

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 17, 2018:

That actions mean more than words. That if someone doesn’t respect your boundaries early on it will only get worse. That one person can not make a relationship work alone. And to never open a joint credit card with ANYONE.

Was there a school teacher who made the most impact in your education?

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 17, 2018:

I love this story. High school was a rough time for me. I made a lot of bad decisions and hated being at school. I was fortunate to have a band director who really made a difference in my life. He cared about his students, and held us (and himself) to high standards. In 4 years in his classroom, he taught us values that are core to my identity. Years down the road, when my son was approaching high school at the same school, he casually expressed an interest in playing the saxophone. My parents and I made sure he could be part of the band with the same teacher. By the time he was a senior, he was taking 3 different band classes. Now he is in college, majoring in music education - He is going to be a music teacher!

Is there really such a thing as unconditional love?

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 17, 2018:

I believe that unconditional love is for children. That is, something to be bestowed only on one’s children, because no matter what they do you will always love them. I no longer believe in unconditional love In relationships, because in my experience that led to me loving someone unconditionally while he treated me very badly. It is ok to set boundaries for yourself and to remove people from your life if they are willing to harm you. So, my condition is that others treat me with love and kindness. This, I think, is different from “conditional love” which implies that you can give and withhold love depending on what others do.

“I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the world.

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 15, 2018:

I completely agree!

I've had a lot of people think because I'm an atheist that I have no morals.

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 15, 2018:

Yes, those people are scary! You might point out to someone who says they would do terrible things if they didn’t believe in god, that that reflects the kind of person that THEY are, not the kind of person YOU are. And yes, I have recently been convinced that religion does serve a purpose in society, by giving people a connection to each other and an incentive to be good (because a lot of people DO need that).

Is the bible the basis of morality?

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 15, 2018:

My statement has always been, “I don’t need god to tell me to be a good person.”

Should Humans Stop Drinking Milk After Infancy?

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 13, 2018:

Technically humans were not ever intended to drink cow’s milk. But it is the BEST source of calcium - most people get only 20-30% of their daily calcium needs from non-dairy food. Also humans have evolved so that many of us are now lactose tolerant. So for most people, milk is a good part of a balanced diet.

Well it happened.

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 13, 2018:

Was it about Trump getting removed from office? Because if so, you automatically get a pass.

Does the Universe have to make sense?

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 12, 2018:

I think atheists are more often people who accept that we cannot know everything and don’t have to have all the answers. People invented gods to explain things that they couldn’t understand. I’m Ok with not having all the answers.

Get your flu shot?

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 11, 2018:

This year they seem to have missed the mark when they guessed which flu strains to include. Sometimes that happens. However when people say they “got sick” from the flu shot it means they had some minor symptoms for 2-3 days, which is a lot better than being so sick you want to die (or DO die) for a week or more. My health insurance covers it for free so I just do it.

How do you, as a nonbeliever say you're sorry for the death of someone's spouse or children or ...

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 11, 2018:

My son asked me about this when someone he cared about lost someone close to them. It is tough because so many things that people say are unintentionally hurtful. I suggested he focus on his friend- “I’m sorry for your loss.” And “what can I do to help?” (Said genuinely with desire to provide support) and to be available to listen and empathize.

I sometimes asked to speak at various organizations.

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 11, 2018:

Pretty good!

I sometimes asked to speak at various organizations.

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 11, 2018:

Pretty good!

Incest: Immoral or Moral?

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 11, 2018:

I just finished a book “The righteous mind” that discussed the origins of morality and used this example: an adult brother and sister decide to have sex, use double protection and never tell anyone. Is this immoral? Lots of people said yes, but couldn’t explain why. It doesn’t hurt anyone, they are adults, there is practically no chance of reproducing. It’s just yucky. There’s an evolutionary basis for our finding it yucky, that no longer applies, but we still have the same emotional reaction to it. We would prefer to have a rational explanation for why it’s wrong, but many people will go with their gut feeling even if they know it doesn’t make rational sense.

Should you be fully able to defend your atheism/ agnosticism ?

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 10, 2018:

I don’t think anyone should be required to to justify their lack of belief. But people who HAVE a reason, even if they aren’t articulate about it, are probably more likely to stick with their (lack of) belief. I personally believe in reason, science, logic and evidence. My positive belief in those things tells me that there is no god. My ex, on the other hand, called himself an atheist because he didn’t believe in anything. But when life got hard and he wanted help from religious folks, he started going to church because it served his purpose.

Christian women throwing a fit after atheist post a bible scripture on the back of his vehicle.

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 10, 2018:

“It’s outrageous...that its’s become acceptable for folks to share such hateful and misogynistic thoughts.” Agreed. So, maybe know what you’re saying when you tell people they should live by the Bible.

Half a wing? [youtube.com]

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 10, 2018:

Bummer I was hoping for a good trex joke

Damn right, Sylvia.

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 9, 2018:

Unfortunately something that has to be said

Race/ethnicity

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 8, 2018:

People should live and love as it suits them. But we are shaped by our culture and experiences and cross-racial relationships, like cross-faith relationships, are bound to have unique challenges.

The Murderer/Victim Paradox

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 8, 2018:

One more hole in religious logic. But You can’t reason with people whose beliefs are based on faith.

Do atheists have morals without religion?

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 8, 2018:

I’ve just finished a great book titled “The Righteous Mind.” It is a fascinating look at oral psychology, and how people came to have the moral beliefs that we have. Many of our moral instincts have an evolutionary basis, like for care of the weak, for fairness, loyalty, disgust. But our culture and experiences shape how those instincts are expressed today. Religion has its own application and interpretation of most of these, but is definitely not necessary for morality.

This site is very exciting.

A2Jennifer comments on Jan 4, 2018:

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2017/01/04/heres-why-there-isnt-more-atheist-representation-in-congress/

This site is very exciting.

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 31, 2017:

The problem is that “non-religious” does not have a unified set of beliefs. Many of those are people who believe in a god but don’t ascribe to any particular set of religious beliefs. And by nature of being people who question and challenge what we are told to believe, this group is not going to simply accept a unified set of beliefs. The one thing I would expect is common to most (probably not all) people who identify as non-religious is the desire to not have religion used as the basis of law or otherwise imposed on us.

I become very annoyed and furious when I here politicians,Government officials or anybody ...

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 30, 2017:

The worst thing about that, to me, is that it substitutes for actually taking action. They send prayers to the families who have lost children to gun violence, they send prayers to the American citizens in Peurto Rico. But their job is to actually address problems like that and INSTEAD they “send prayers” and DO NOTHING. It’s really a big F you.

Santa.

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 30, 2017:

I looked up this thread because I was discussing it with a friend with a small child. I was one of those kids who felt betrayed when I found out my parents had lied to me about Santa. With my son, we treated it like a game. He knew from the time he was small that Santa, Easter bunny, tooth fairy were fun things to pretend. “Santa” was about giving presents without taking credit. And he grew into a young man who enjoys giving more than receiving.

Ever wondered why people in the U.S. struggle more each year just to get by?

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 29, 2017:

Is there supposed to be a link or something?

What to do if someone credits religion for the good they do?

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 28, 2017:

My son raised a similar question with me this week. A classmate posted about how she was grateful that God made it possible for her to do well in her classes this term. Her language made it sound like she could only do well because God helped her. He was frustrated because she is smart and capable and seemed to be substituting faith for confidence in her own abilities. He wanted to find a way to tell her that she did well because of her own capabilities but didn’t want to challenge her beliefs. I didn’t know how to do that either.

What has the atheist "community" done for anyone lately?

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 26, 2017:

It is hard to organize a group around shared non-belief! For my part, a friend and I grow and donate produce to our local Food Gatherers. This year and last we donated over 1000lbs of food each year. We make the donation in the name of Ann Arbor Atheists.

Any booklovers on this group? What authors/genres/topics do you like reading?

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 26, 2017:

I always have a book or two going. I loved Vince Flynn’s series, Stephen King, Jeffrey Archer. I am weirdly obsessed with the Hunger Games series and have recently been persuaded to make my way through the Harry Potters. Reading a good book now for an upcoming atheist meet-up, “The Righteous Mind: Why Good people are divided by politics and religion.”

Are atheists and agnostics intolerant?

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 26, 2017:

I don’t have any problem with people believing in god or heaven or any of that nonsense. I DO take issue with people shoving their religion down other’s throats, and with people who think that the right to practice your own religion means the right to impose your beliefs on others, or to discriminate against people who don’t conform to their religious beliefs. Also, people who reject science and reason because it challenges their beliefs scare the living crap out of me.

As an atheist, I think Homosexuality should not come into mainstream. What's your take ?

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 23, 2017:

Whether or not homosexuality is considered “mainstream” (e.g. Acceptable to the majority of a society) is cultural. Many societies in history have recognized/ accepted same sex activity as being on the spectrum of normal. Behaviors/personality traits are the result of a combination of nature and nurture. Most behaviors and characteristics do fall on a spectrum, with people being more or less of different qualities. That includes sexuality.

Are atheists a growing population?

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 23, 2017:

Yes, studies of such things show steady increases in atheists, agnostics, “non-affiliated” and others who are walking away from religion.

Sandy hook.

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 23, 2017:

Also the people who say that their house being spared by the tornado/flood/fire is proof that god exists. Nevermind all the people who did lose their homes or family members, god exists because I’m ok.

What would make you believe in a God?

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 23, 2017:

Seeing God with my own two eyes would make me believe.

I recently posted about losing one of my cat family,and,got very little response.

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 23, 2017:

Sorry, man, I didn’t see it either. probably timing of the post - don’t take it personally. My dad’s piece of wisdom is that, the worst thing about cats is they don’t live as long as people. It really sucks to lose a pet. I’m very sorry for your loss.

We will always have believers if we allow them to force their children to go to church and believe.

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 21, 2017:

But in spite of systematic indoctrination, more and more people are abandoning religion. So we fight to keep our publicly funded entities free from religion, to keep science education teaching SCIENCE instead of fairytales, and to spread the word that it is ok to choose facts over faith.

What are some good, totally secular Christmas movies?

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 21, 2017:

My fave from when I was a kid was Babes in Toyland. It’s kind of a Christmas themed Wizard of Oz. It’s been a while but I am pretty sure no religion.

Not trying to generalize, but to you agree, do you think religion is a mental illness?

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 18, 2017:

Sure, plenty of people manifest their mental illness in religion. But there are plenty of people with faith who are generally rational, reasonable and highly functional “normal” people. My grandparents were very faithful and also the best people I have ever known. I think at the point when 2/3 of a population believes in something, even something ridiculous, you call that “cultural” not “psychological.”

Any suggestions on how to inoculate children from religion?

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 18, 2017:

I didn’t find it necessary to “inoculate” my child from religion - the lack of indoctrination was sufficient. However, I don’t live in an area where he is constantly barraged with god talk.

WHAT'S YOUR POSITION ON ABORTION ?

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 17, 2017:

The bottom line is pro-choice. I would hope to prevent most abortions through affordable, accessible birth control. But $h!t happens and no woman should be forced to carry a child she doesn’t want or can’t care for, and no child should grow up unwanted because legislators think they have the right to dictate family and medical decisions for women.

When did you first doubt religion?

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 17, 2017:

I was not indoctrinated early but would go to church when we visited my grandparents. I was probably about 8 when I remember thinking “this is all very weird!”

[nytimes.

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 17, 2017:

Yep. The thing that rings most true to me is the “us vs them” thing. And because so many of these people lives in rural or racially homogenous areas, they rarely encounter “others.” Which makes it easier to vilify them.

10 fallacies about atheists - have I missed any?

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 15, 2017:

“Atheists hate god.” Or that atheists worship/love Satan. We don’t hate god, we don’t believe one exists. It’s like saying that you hate leprechauns or the Easter bunny. No, I don’t hate god. Or leprechauns. Or the Easter Bunny. Or Satan. Because they are all imaginary.

Drug users

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 15, 2017:

Studies show that about 3% of people are drug addicts. In societies that do not criminalize drug use, about 3% of people are addicts. In societies that strictly punish drug use, about 3% of people are addicts. That is to say, laws and penalties do not prevent drug abuse. Meanwhile, we have major problems with our criminal justice system. People with life or death sentences are routinely exonerated by DNA evidence. It is clear that minorities are disproportionately targeted by drug enforcement, are convicted of drug crimes at higher rates (once accused, than whites) and are routinely sentenced more harshly when convicted. All of this is to say that harsher drug laws and enforcement of drug laws tends to have very little impact on the problem of drug abuse, but exacerbates other problems we have in our society. Another issue - one of the most common traits among serious drug addicts is having experienced significant childhood trauma/abuse. Rather than spend our dollars going after the consequence, I propose we spend our dollars addressing the root cause.

What do you do to help the Environment?

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 14, 2017:

Recycle or compost most household waste so I trash very little, and use biodegradable garbage bags for kitty litter. Use the library. Do fewer, larger loads in an HE washer. Keep the thermostat low. Walk/bus when possible. Ooh and pick up litter. About once a week when they weather is nice I use trash pickup as my workout.

This showed up on my FB. Seems to say it all about today's society. Anyone have thoughts?

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 3, 2017:

I can agree that the worldview on the right appears in our present society. I do take exception to the idea that this is what social science does, though. Social science is complicated, because people are complicated. Psychology and sociology will never be able to make the same kind of conclusions that physics and biology do, because so many factors contribute to human behavior. That doesn’t mean we should stop examining them. Like hard sciences, social science continues to search for better explanations. That is different from the value of, say, evangelicals, who simply disregard any evidence that conflicts with what they already believe.

Women and atheism

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 3, 2017:

Also, for so much of history, church/religion was the only source of social support for women. Since women weren’t in the workplace, their only way to meet and connect with others was through religious circles. My local atheist group is definitely heavily white and male.

"Has Evangelical Christianity Become Sociopathic?"

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 3, 2017:

And that seems to me to be what unites “conservatives” - a lack of empathy. Liberals, while sometimes misguided, attempt to make the world better for all people. Conservatives want to make the world better for themselves and people like them, even if it’s at the expense of others.

Do you agree one of the following three conditions is true?

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 1, 2017:

Fourth option: there is no god.

For Online Dating sites... Do you list yourself as Agnostic/Other or pretend to be Christian?

A2Jennifer comments on Dec 1, 2017:

I list myself as an atheist as I prefer to date non-believers and I definitely don’t want to deal with anyone who won’t accept my (lack of) beliefs.

Why the hatred?

A2Jennifer comments on Nov 27, 2017:

Faith leaders like to pronounce that atheists hate Christians and want to destroy their “Christian ways” but it’s not really like that. In my experience, most atheists/agnostics don’t hate religion or religious people. Those people who express animosity toward religion are often those who were personally harmed by religion - abused or ostracized or forced to think and act in ways that felt wrong to them. No one opposes the charitable acts of religious groups. Many oppose and are frustrated or angered by the hatred and judgment that people justify with religion, acts of violence done in the name of religion. Personally I am frustrated and a bit afraid of the willful ignorance that often goes hand-in-hand with religion - such as science deniers and the dismissal of facts and evidence that conflict with their faith..

Here's the question of the day! Does anyone even use this site as a dating site?

A2Jennifer comments on Nov 24, 2017:

They were plugging that they would be expanding the dating options in the site but not sure what that means. Also the issue of there being not a lot of people in geographic proximity.

I am Secular Pro-Life. Here are my secular arguments to which I'd like you to respond.

A2Jennifer comments on Nov 12, 2017:

I would like to address your second point. Banning abortion, and therefore restricting the rights of women to autonomy over their body, will NOT force anyone to advance other women’s rights or family issues. I would argue that if people want to eliminate abortion, that best way to do that is to address the social issues that often lead to abortion - like poverty, lack of access to birth control, and the challenges of providing health care and other basic needs. But people are not “forced to” address those issues to prevent abortion any more than they would be “forced” to address them by banning abortion. if society actually addressed those issues, abortion could be significantly reduced, and we should make every effort as society to do that. But making abortion illegal doesn’t solve anything - it simply makes it illegal and dangerous to access.

The struggle to find a partner...

A2Jennifer comments on Nov 11, 2017:

I hear you. I am in my late 30’s and dating for the first time in my life after divorcing someone i was with since high school. There are plenty of challenges in dating to start with, and I think that being an atheist seriously narrows the pool of potential partners. I just don’t think I could be compatible with someone who accepts blind faith over knowledge and evidence. And it’s not like that is my only criteria, either!

How do you deal with Door-knockers?

A2Jennifer comments on Nov 10, 2017:

I have always wanted to stockpile some atheist literature to give them.

Boyfriend is agnostic, I'm an atheist. How to cope with disagreements?

A2Jennifer comments on Nov 10, 2017:

It sounds to me like he is currently a theist with doubts, rather than an agnostic. I think the key in this situation is to ask questions and listen to the answers, in particular, “why do you believe that?” Why do you think the Bible is a good guide for living life? Are those things exclusively tied to religion? the goal between you should be to understand each other, not necessarily to persuade, but maybe through your conversations he will become more comfortable with letting go of faith in things that aren’t logical.

Any gay atheists?

A2Jennifer comments on Nov 6, 2017:

It’s because you’re in Tennessee. Lots of gay folks re-evaluate and move away from religion because it tells them that they are inherently bad.

Do more atheists and agnostics get involved in non-traditional relationships?

A2Jennifer comments on Nov 6, 2017:

Non-theists definitely use a different method of determining what is ok and what isn’t. Religious folks have right and wrong determined for them. Lots of gay people have entered into hetero relationships because that is what was allowed. Without having our values handed down by the word of god or his representatives, we are free to decide for ourselves what is acceptable and what is morally wrong. So, I would think non-theists would be more open to situations that theists rule out based on dogma.

Where is the most secular / agnostic / atheist place in the USA?

A2Jennifer comments on Nov 3, 2017:

There is a correlation between education and rejection of religion. I am from Ann Arbor, MI and we always rank as one of the most educated cities. And like Portland, extremely liberal. I would bet that we have a relatively high proportion of anti-theists.

Pastor Greg Laurie: “There’s No Such Thing” as an Atheist Relief Organization We've ...

A2Jennifer comments on Nov 3, 2017:

We are a tough bunch to organize, a bit like wrangling cats, but apparently it can be done!

What religion scares you the most, and why?

A2Jennifer comments on Nov 2, 2017:

Evangelicals scare me. The need to deny all scientific evidence in order to believe that the Bible is the literal truth is disturbing.

Why do you say that you're only 99.9% sure that god doesn't exist?

A2Jennifer comments on Oct 30, 2017:

I can demonstrably show that there is no elephant in the garage, because I can see the whole garage at once. We can’t prove that something doesn’t exist anywhere in the universe because we can’t perceive the whole universe. Given current evidence, both gods and aliens seem to be creations of human imagination. But I believe that is highly probable that there is life elsewhere in the universe - it’s a big universe! I believe that it’s more likely that there is alien life than that there is a being that created everything else. But as of now, neither of those things can be “proven” to exist or not. So I can only be 99.9-something % sure that there is no god.

Thoughts on Satanism?

A2Jennifer comments on Oct 26, 2017:

Satanists don’t believe in Satan as a deity. I think they mostly call themselves Satanists to piss off the god people.

Does politics hinder religious harmony?

A2Jennifer comments on Oct 26, 2017:

I’d say that religion hinders political harmony! So much conflict is rooted in religious assertions. People prioritize what they believe, or are told to believe, over logic and reason and other people’s rights.

Is life meaningful without religion?

A2Jennifer comments on Oct 26, 2017:

Of course! Instead of meaning manufactured to please some imaginary being and gain entrance into an imaginary afterlife, we can find meaning in real things. I find meaning in Relationships, in activities that bring me joy, in doing work to make the world a better place.

Should religion be taught in schools?

A2Jennifer comments on Oct 26, 2017:

It is one thing to teach people ABOUT religion. One can hardly understand history and culture without some understanding of religion. It is something else for public resources to be used to indoctrinate.

What are your thoughts on “foul” language?

A2Jennifer comments on Oct 23, 2017:

As I taught my kid, I swear a lot and don’t mind if he does, but it isn’t appropriate in all circumstances. Don’t swear at a job interview, in front of your grandmother, or around other people’s kids!

Hello, I just signed up and am excited to join the group.

A2Jennifer comments on Oct 23, 2017:

I recommend Meetup.com. My area has some atheist/agnostic groups and if yours doesn’t, you could start one.

did you loose faith, or gain a sense of reality?

A2Jennifer comments on Oct 23, 2017:

I remember going to church with my grandparents when I was a kid and thinking “this is all very weird!” I never really had faith and felt more comfortable with logic and reason.

Would you start/join an agnostic/atheist group where you live?

A2Jennifer comments on Sep 28, 2017:

Yes! My city has an Atheists Meet-up group and I met my best friends there.