Austin-Cambridge's Profile

It is sad to see the name John McCain on the same page as that of Donald Trump, the late Senator ...

St-Sinner comments on May 30, 2019:

The name of the U.S.S. ... The destroyer John S. McCain is named after the senator, as well as his grandfather, John S. McCain Sr., a Navy admiral during World War II, and his father, John S. McCain Jr., an admiral in the Vietnam era.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 30, 2019:

Those chifres will fall from your head if you continue being a good egg O Prints of Darkroom!

Anybody in here know what DNA stands for?

IamNobody comments on May 30, 2019:

Look within, it is in you

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 30, 2019:

AND in the mirror too! :P

Anybody in here know what DNA stands for?

MojoDave comments on May 30, 2019:

deoxyribonucleic acid

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 30, 2019:

Whale, oil, beef, Oct. So it does!

Anybody in here know what DNA stands for?

m16566 comments on May 30, 2019:

de·ox·y·ri·bo·nu·cle·ic ac·id /dēˌäksēˌrībōn(y)o͞oˈklēik ˈasid/

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 30, 2019:

Correct but wrong too, the correct answer is, "National Dyslexics association" Rah!

2 gay men in a bar,1 goes to the counter, 2 gins please, barman says which would you like we have 3 ...

zeuser comments on May 30, 2019:

Cute joke, but why are they gay? That has nothing to do with the gag. Just curious.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 30, 2019:

Z, if it was 2 hairy arsed builders, the first one would have told the barman,"fuck off smart ass" see now?

Two old ladies meet in the street, I'm so sorry to hear of your husbands death! Whatever happened?

LimitedLight comments on May 30, 2019:

Two old ladies meet in the street. Old Lady 1 (OL1): "I'm so sorry to hear of your husband's death! Whatever happened?" Old Lady 2 (OL2): "Well, I was preparing Sunday lunch and he went down to the vegetable patch to cut a cabbage, he had a massive heart attack and dropped dead." OL1: "How ...

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 30, 2019:

Ah! I see it all now, that random selection of words and punctuation marks was a joke, thanks for the explanation................WTF!!! I prefer "groan"

Try the Trump diet! Every time you go to eat something, think of the fat bastards face, that will ...

Diogenes comments on May 30, 2019:

Looking like a fat slob is disgusting! Even without looking at the slobbering Trump- "I" eat too much- while around the world there are children starving to death.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 30, 2019:

Critical thinking, I like it! We in the "developed" nations all eat too much and whats worse, waste more than we eat! Now that's sick!

I thought that’s really funny… Until I realized they ARE actually working on doing just that and...

AnonySchmoose comments on May 30, 2019:

Theoretically, I'd like to have all the information in world or universe in my brain immediately when I want it.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 30, 2019:

You would know all my crap jokes then! :)

Should a nation where the majority live in houses constructed like garden sheds ignore the cause of ...

Amisja comments on May 30, 2019:

I once read an article as regards this. I wish I still had it. In a country rich in building materials, I was surprised when I lived in USA how many wood built or plasterboard built houses there where. Here in UK, most houses are built of brick or stone. Mine is a stone built house. However, it ...

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 30, 2019:

Remember the story of the 3 pigs?

Exercise is always a good thing but my wife has started to do the splits 50 times each morning, ...

Athena comments on May 29, 2019:

That iS a stretch. Doing it over and over is not as effective as just holding it though. Tell her to hangout in the splits for hours at a time.. at coffee shops and restaurants. It will be a much deeper stretch... and it'll impress the sh** out of people.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 29, 2019:

@Athena I don't like playing golf!

Exercise is always a good thing but my wife has started to do the splits 50 times each morning, ...

Athena comments on May 29, 2019:

That iS a stretch. Doing it over and over is not as effective as just holding it though. Tell her to hangout in the splits for hours at a time.. at coffee shops and restaurants. It will be a much deeper stretch... and it'll impress the sh** out of people.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 29, 2019:

That's right, add to my woes! :)

Arab peoples believe 40 years to be the "Age of wisdom" this, some may think, a little severe.

brentan comments on May 28, 2019:

It must mean more than just a number of years. What if we live every year just like the last?

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 28, 2019:

Like a couch potato would? See St. Sinner comment below! Nice one brentan!

After analysis of this group I have found that most over 50s are far better at commentating than ...

VictoriaNotes comments on May 27, 2019:

Would that include you, as well? ;)

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 27, 2019:

@VictoriaNotes I,m a meat person myself,so you will get no nasty comment about using a perfectly valid word, in context, from me madam. I enjoy the craic more than anything else!

E does equal MC squared, since I was 50 time has passed much faster than before, anybody else ...

Merseyman1 comments on May 27, 2019:

Wait till you're seventy!

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 27, 2019:

WAIT!!!!! Mr. Merseyman, I,m racing to the cemetery like a runaway train, I wish I could wait!

After analysis of this group I have found that most over 50s are far better at commentating than ...

VictoriaNotes comments on May 27, 2019:

Would that include you, as well? ;)

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 27, 2019:

@VictoriaNotes Communication in all it's complexity is what sets us apart from all other life on earth. One would be very stupid not to embrace it, if only we could understand what others are talking about..

Typical, looks like everyones forgotten they joined this group!

yogafan108 comments on May 27, 2019:

Since I started this group, I definitely did not forget. I have been very busy with the end of the school year.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 27, 2019:

Oh dear, does that mean that I'm the new boy again, after nearly 58 years, Whaaaaah!!!!!

50s + Joke. A Jack Russel and an Alsatian at the vets, Alsatian asks, why you here man?

Cast1es comments on May 27, 2019:

Terrific , she was raped by her dog . What does that say about how well her human male has been doing it ?

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 27, 2019:

Even though nobody can see, I'm shaking my head, eyes closed, in disbelief!

After analysis of this group I have found that most over 50s are far better at commentating than ...

VictoriaNotes comments on May 27, 2019:

Would that include you, as well? ;)

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 27, 2019:

Moi? Nah, I'm a poster sort of chap, not in a photogenic sense, more drop dead than gorgeous I am! :)

I'm curious about what people on this site feel about the simulation hypothesis.

Moravian comments on May 27, 2019:

Never heard of it. could you explain what it's all about ?

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 27, 2019:

Buy a book!

Old Iranian saying; What shall it profit a man if he owns half the hotels in the world yet looks ...

Our_existence comments on May 27, 2019:

tRump is a soulless monster

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 27, 2019:

With bleached camel shit on his head!

The only thing that is better than being bisexual for improving you chances of scoring is being in ...

Surfpirate comments on May 27, 2019:

And yet the guys I have known who are bisexual would disagree. They say they exist in a netherworld of sexuality where they don't belong to the straights or the gays completely so both sides tend to reject them because they're not able to accept something a little bit different from their own ...

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 27, 2019:

Well, as least they have one another! :)

One ear of corn to another, "Don't let the bastards grind you down man"

amymcmxcii comments on May 25, 2019:

You need to get a new gag writer.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 26, 2019:

@amymcmxcii Blimey! Roughly translated it means Keep your powder dry it's going to get rough!

One ear of corn to another, "Don't let the bastards grind you down man"

amymcmxcii comments on May 25, 2019:

You need to get a new gag writer.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 25, 2019:

@amymcmxcii If you scroll up the page you will find that "Toolguy" can't see my sense of humour! The reply I sent was asking if he was calling me a bastard as he had used the Latin in his comment. Just a silly joke that seems was off target!

Sometimes I am taken aback by my own reflection in a shop window or other reflective surface, whilst...

brentan comments on May 25, 2019:

Isn't that weird.....cognitive dissonance between our real self and our imagined self.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 25, 2019:

Beautifully articulated, but not weird, normal I would say, my imagined self is a thirty something and the grim reality is a disappointment!

Any of you heard of the Specials, a British band from the city of Coventry, Ghost town is a great ...

AmiSue comments on May 25, 2019:

Indeed I have!

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 25, 2019:

You lucky girl, great music!

One ear of corn to another, "Don't let the bastards grind you down man"

ToolGuy comments on May 25, 2019:

Non carborundum bastardo descendit.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 25, 2019:

I do hope that you are not insinuating that my family escutcheon is emblazoned with the bar sinister sir!

One ear of corn to another, "Don't let the bastards grind you down man"

Cast1es comments on May 25, 2019:

That reminds me , I bought corn bread to go with my meal , Yum ,, sounds tasty !

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 25, 2019:

Thick cut?

One ear of corn to another, "Don't let the bastards grind you down man"

amymcmxcii comments on May 25, 2019:

You need to get a new gag writer.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 25, 2019:

Perhaps the gag may be enough?

Sometimes I am taken aback by my own reflection in a shop window or other reflective surface, whilst...

Cabsmom comments on May 25, 2019:

I understand. Thankfully I like a little younger than I am, but it's creeping up on me.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 25, 2019:

You lucky girl, if it was a typo "look" but then, if you "like" a little younger, go for it! I look ten years older than I am but have had a hard life. :P

A great song from my youth was (I think) Manfred Mann, the lead singer, Paul Jones had a great ...

GeorgeRocheleau comments on May 25, 2019:

this one? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctPP2ToAK4U

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 25, 2019:

You are a diamond George, thanks a million for doing that, really enjoyed it.

I've been in here for 15 minutes and nobody's talking to me already!

Triphid comments on May 25, 2019:

Hasn't anyone ever told you that to get a conversation going someone first needs to actually start it. Therefore, IF you want to start a conversation with anyone the opening move is up to you, is it not?

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 25, 2019:

Sorry, what was the question again?

I've been in here for 15 minutes and nobody's talking to me already!

escapetypist comments on May 25, 2019:

When you want Facebook but found a bunch of heathens

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 25, 2019:

Facebook Zucks, I'd rather be in here!

I've been in here for 15 minutes and nobody's talking to me already!

Hathacat comments on May 25, 2019:

Funny!

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 25, 2019:

Aw, thank you, not all bully boys in here then!

This is a bit deep! If a tree fell in the rain forest and landed on Donald Trump, would anybody give...

LucyLoohoo comments on May 24, 2019:

Like a couple of our friends here, I'd LOVE to hear his shrill squeal....especially if he had to lie there, helpless, for days and days, while bears, hungry foxes, coyotes and bobcats circle him....waiting....

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 24, 2019:

Cruel but just, I like it!

Two old ladies and a young girl standing at a bus-stop, the young lady lights a cigarette and it ...

lerlo comments on May 24, 2019:

Haven't heard that one in a while, thanks for the memory

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 24, 2019:

Camel are well over a hundred years old (well done for killing all those people poor souls) so I'm not surprised you have heard that one a few times over all those years! I expect I'm going to get far more shit about my Moses joke, thats probably 3000 years old if you belive your bible!

Two old ladies and a young girl standing at a bus-stop, the young lady lights a cigarette and it ...

ToolGuy comments on May 24, 2019:

To stick with the theme. Groan! Sign over a Gynecologist’s Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 24, 2019:

No groan needed, that's a cracker chap!

Two old ladies and a young girl standing at a bus-stop, the young lady lights a cigarette and it ...

St-Sinner comments on May 24, 2019:

hmm. sorry, did not quite get that

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 24, 2019:

@Kynlei Fancy having to explain a dirty joke to the "Prints of darkroom" Huh!!

Two old ladies and a young girl standing at a bus-stop, the young lady lights a cigarette and it ...

St-Sinner comments on May 24, 2019:

hmm. sorry, did not quite get that

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 24, 2019:

Thought you would get that right away "o horny one"

God; Moses I have something for you! Oh yes, whats that?

bobwjr comments on May 24, 2019:

LMAO funny

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 24, 2019:

If that means what I think it does, I'm happy to have brought a smile to that poker face of yours!

The "burning bush" cheapest Irish Whiskey you can buy?

RichieO comments on May 24, 2019:

Not really, mountain dew is but harder to get...

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 24, 2019:

Given the geography, you would know best!

God; Moses I have something for you! Oh yes, whats that?

Cast1es comments on May 24, 2019:

What exactly do you reply to a burning bush ?

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 24, 2019:

You believe all that crap then?

Do you think there is a fine line between sitting on a pier and actually fishing?

BestWithoutGods comments on May 23, 2019:

No. Sitting on a pier does no harm to others. Torturing and killing our fellow animals (fish) is cruel.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 23, 2019:

@BestWithoutGods An unimaginable amount of insects are eradicated every day so that veggies can have their preferred food, I can't imagine the future consequences of this but it doesn't bode well for our world.

Do you think there is a fine line between sitting on a pier and actually fishing?

BestWithoutGods comments on May 23, 2019:

No. Sitting on a pier does no harm to others. Torturing and killing our fellow animals (fish) is cruel.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 23, 2019:

@MojoDave I thought he might be a Vegan, I watched every episode of Star trek, he wasn't in it though!

Do you think there is a fine line between sitting on a pier and actually fishing?

bobwjr comments on May 23, 2019:

No both are peaceful and relaxing

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 23, 2019:

Now that sir is a comment!

Americans are apple pie sure enough but how is it the President is such a tart?

HippieChick58 comments on May 22, 2019:

He's not a tart, he's a horse's ass.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 22, 2019:

@Arouet It seems that their knowledge of classic vehicles is equally awesome! I will tread carefully in future!

I was in a supermarket shopping and saw a loaf of bread, made me think of Donald Trump but when I ...

LucyLoohoo comments on May 22, 2019:

I'm thinking of mushrooms.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 22, 2019:

I know he sprang up out of nowhere in US politics, but I think you miss the joke, it's not about food!

When I get a pop-up from my so-called free anti-virus saying my computer is under threat or ...

MojoDave comments on May 22, 2019:

If it's a general message, possibly. If the message is more specific, probably not. I use and recommend Malwarebytes, the paid version $30/yr. Welcome to this group!

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 22, 2019:

Thank you, glad I joined now!

Americans are apple pie sure enough but how is it the President is such a tart?

HippieChick58 comments on May 22, 2019:

He's not a tart, he's a horse's ass.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 22, 2019:

OK, I could have said "Slut" :P

Do you remember a song called "It's because of me" a song about lust and temptation, must have been ...

ipdg77 comments on May 21, 2019:

Is it this one? https://youtu.be/w3y6uA19Y_Y

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 22, 2019:

Many thanks, I would never have remembered his name but love the song!

A lady's parting euphemism, "remember the good times" = remember when you had loads of money!

dartagnan6666 comments on May 21, 2019:

Define "loads".

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 21, 2019:

Sorry, I should have said shitloads!

In other species there are thieves, murderers and those who display what we would describe as loose ...

brentan comments on May 21, 2019:

I'm not totally sure about being the only ones to feel guilt. I think we're the only ones with the concept of judgment, even though animals mete out reprisals against their own (and sometimes us too if we're cruel).

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 21, 2019:

Cruelty is an odious thing in any circumstance but especially in animals, they can't got to the police and accuse the perpetraters!

Two scrap metal merchants at the gates of heaven, St.

Austin-Cambridge comments on May 20, 2019:

Groan?

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 21, 2019:

@EyesThatSmile Fear not and groan away, I'm a jelly baby!

Given the chequered history of tolerance in President's, I wonder how much the Secret Service pay ...

St-Sinner comments on May 21, 2019:

Hey Austin, are you an American in Portugal? After the interference in the American elections by Russia in 2016, we do not want foreign countries to interfere in our affairs... LMHO

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 21, 2019:

Interfere, perish the thought, a legitimate question though.I'm not an American in Portugal, I'm a mongrel who lives here! Strangely enough, we don't get many Americans here, most think it's in Central or South America so miss out.

Given the chequered history of tolerance in President's, I wonder how much the Secret Service pay ...

KKGator comments on May 21, 2019:

https://work.chron.com/salaries-secret-service-agents-8297.html "Secret Service Agent Salary As employees of the federal government, employees of the Secret Service are paid according to the General Schedule (GS) pay rates as defined by the Office of Personnel Management. Special rates are ...

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 21, 2019:

Caramba! You are up to speed with this stuff, Still not enough though..

A lady's parting euphemism, "remember the good times" = remember when you had loads of money!

NHjulie comments on May 21, 2019:

Don't appreciate the sentiment. When I married my ex, I paid off some of his debt and helped him further his career, while putting mine on hold to raise our children. Tired of the "all women are golddiggers" comments. Sorry.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 21, 2019:

Had I posted this as a comment on a serious forum I would agree totally, as it is a joke, NAH!! got any lemons in your larder?

In other species there are thieves, murderers and those who display what we would describe as loose ...

RichieO comments on May 21, 2019:

I think so, no other animal sees what they do in those terms, even if they have a notion of wrongdoing, they don't feel guilty as some humans might...

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 21, 2019:

Glad you said "some" nice one!

Two scrap metal merchants at the gates of heaven, St.

St-Sinner comments on May 20, 2019:

I want a better joke in the future.