Police pull a driver over for driving erratically, the cop asks the man, have you been drinking sir,...

Beowulfsfriend comments on May 27, 2019:

Classic, but funny. Like the drunk passenger, "Better leave us alone when we're drunk or we'll kick your ass."

Flynn denies suggesting that Myanmar-style coup 'should happen' in US | TheHill

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jun 1, 2021:

He is a lying ass.

These are still available, but I mostly remember them from my childhood.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Feb 4, 2019:

My high school junior year, for Christmas, my father thought giving me those and some hair pins would be funny. I did not laugh; they went to my sisters; I am male, albeit not sexist, I wasn't into curly hair.

Floraduh man lost his car keys in a bar.... [dailykos.com]

Beowulfsfriend comments on Dec 2, 2022:

One could wonder why he is so stupid, however, it is Floriduh. Some people seem to think they can swing their guns around with no repercussions.

Edibles will take you from just enough to relieve your pain/trauma/whatever to Hold My Beer This is ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Oct 27, 2021:

Last year I was rewatching Casablanca after half a cookie. Damn, I always loved that film, but a total new level opened up.

Hope you all have a wonderful Wednesday!!!

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jan 11, 2023:

So many people need to practice "shutting the fuck up."

'They Are Not Human': Massachusetts Elementary School Teacher Fired After His Secret Gig As Writer ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jun 1, 2021:

Lots of Nazis in Germany seemed nice also - hope he never teaches again.

Piranhas swarm 8 tourists at Brazilian resort, leaving them with bloody legs and feet ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on May 12, 2023:

There are places where one can "swim with the piranhas." Usually those places have similar looking, but less aggressive fish. A well fed piranha isn't usually a threat to humans. When I was in Thailand, I watched Pacu being fed. They look like big piranha, but aren't very aggressive. However, when their food was added, the water turned into a frothing madness.

Just BE BEST! - Randy Rainbow Song Parody [youtube.com]

Beowulfsfriend comments on Oct 15, 2018:

One would think a college grad who has lived here many years would have a better grasp of the English language. Oh, my bad, she lied about college. And on her first visa. And, it appears her parents may have had mob ties in their country. Sure am glad she is one of the "good ones" Trump isn't getting rid of, like those guys who served in the U.S. military.

Got it wrong again

Beowulfsfriend comments on Feb 20, 2020:

Funny, except syphilis is a bacteria. Although, he probably has had more penicillin shot into his ass than most.

Still waiting on the Empirical Evidence to show up before I consider changing my Atheist views. :D

Beowulfsfriend comments on Feb 23, 2023:

"Empirical evidence" is a laugh. Turds they pull out their asses maybe.

Kentucky Derby 2020 [agnostic.com]

Beowulfsfriend comments on Apr 28, 2020:

I just wanted to say that is funny. I got serious below. It is Kentucky. That is quite possible as they will want to run it. Now, maybe the horse breeders wouldn't want to go, but, horse racing is pretty cut throat, nasty, horses dying a lot at the lower levels, low attendance - Some states make casinos have a horse racing facility that is seldom profitable.

A GOP Congresswoman Wanted to Know People’s Favorite Bible Verses.

Beowulfsfriend comments on May 18, 2021:

Like tRump, Corinthiens two, she only knows what is put in front of her.

Trouble with social media

Beowulfsfriend comments on Nov 20, 2021:

Too true. Some people are just seeing another person take a piss.

Laura Prepon Says She’s ‘No Longer Practicing Scientology' | HuffPost

Beowulfsfriend comments on Aug 19, 2021:

Scientology is one of the worst and most crazy shit storms of control and fleecing of their flock. Most people who leave do so quietly so as not to get attacked or sued or harassed. Many countries, like Germany, don't even recognize them as a religion. Any religion that makes you sign a billion year "slave" contract should be outlawed simply for its illegal work with little or no pay requirements.

I'm exhausted.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Aug 13, 2019:

As mentioned below, some colleges offer mental health help - take it.

Ten Years After “The New Jim Crow” | The New Yorker

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jan 20, 2020:

Racism keeps the republicans in power.

Happy Saturday Afternoon! Hope you all are having a good one!

Beowulfsfriend comments on Mar 11, 2023:

I still like tequila, however, a whole bottle won't happen any more. I drink very little. Before my last cruise, in the Navy, 4 of us drank a fifth, a liter, and a quart of tequila. Add some hash, that was a hell of a night.

I definitely did this, did you? 🎶🎤📻🎶

Beowulfsfriend comments on Nov 15, 2019:

Yes. Unfortunately, we had a parrot that would sing to certain music- mostly country, and he loved the Beverly Hillbillies. Then one day I tried to record a live, on tv, performance by Vanilla Fudge. Turned out he liked certain rock bands as well.

This Christian claims her three amputated toes were regrown during a prayer service

Beowulfsfriend comments on Mar 20, 2023:

Not a cell phone video in sight, and nothing about being Amish.

What is the craziest/weirdest religion or cult that you have come across?

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jan 13, 2020:

One weird one that always pissed me off (more so because it could have been easily stopped) is the Prince Phillip movement. A group of Pacific islanders see him as a god and he has done nothing g to stop such nonsense. If anything, he has encouraged it. Twit of royal with one son a pedophile and the other, who knows.

Are you pro "choice" or pro "life"?

Beowulfsfriend comments on Dec 3, 2018:

The whole pro life moniker is bull shit created to make the pro choice people look evil. Being in favor of life is not taking away a woman's rights. Being in favor of life is not deciding unscientifically when a being has a consciousness. Being in favor if life is not supporting a country that kills its own people, even beyond the court room and with laws and regulations that damage health and safety. I could rant on, but with a current vote of 28 to 1, I am pretty sure I am preaching to the choir so to speak.

‘He is wrong’: Pence rebuts Trump claim that he could have overturned election | Mike Pence | ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Feb 5, 2022:

He waited till most of the damage was done.

[abcnews.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Apr 16, 2019:

Hopefully someone is awake at the treasury so his oily hands don't steal money to pay for it.

A couple of pin-ups for your viewing pleasure. 😉

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jan 9, 2021:

I'm suing. How did they get that drawing of me from 1981?

Well, a Repuglican congressman has called for the ouster of Liz Cheney for supporting the ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jan 13, 2021:

Looks like Turtle Mitch may have struck a deal to go along with impeachment. We shall see; the one thing we know about Mitch is his trustworthiness, which is nil.

Most of The Beach Boys hits were during my high school years.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Oct 30, 2021:

I briefly dated a Rhonda - 1973. She really didn't fit that song.

Well it looks like being both a fun late afternoon and a musical kind of evening around this ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Apr 17, 2022:

I owned a house across from a catholic church in a small town. Some Sundays, especially if they parked, or should I say tried to park in my lane, I would crank up Frank Zappa's "Catholic Girls" for their listening pleasure.

Good morning!!! Hope you all have a good day!

Beowulfsfriend comments on Oct 12, 2022:

So much humor - so much truth.

[reuters.com] Catholic dioceses, Boy Scouts, hide from sex abuse lawsuits by filing bankruptcy.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Dec 30, 2022:

I saw that. Much of the boy scouts abuse happened under Mormon control. The church should have to sell off its assets - paintings and statues.

Both cute and stinky

Beowulfsfriend comments on Oct 6, 2021:

I knew a family with a pet skunk. He was descented and would hibernate, more less, in the winter. They feed him cat food and he used a litter box. He was mostly nice, like a cat. My friend woke him up one winter day; he stood up, put his tail up and stuck his ass out at us. Not a happy skunk. I really think that our laughter just pissed him off more.

Myles Sanderson, suspect in Sask. stabbing rampage, arrested

Beowulfsfriend comments on Sep 7, 2022:

That caught my attention as well.

He has a point.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jul 27, 2021:

Reminds me of a joke my 9th grade history teacher told. He thanked me for being the only person that laughed (I attribute that to being from a school in the boondocks). A Sadist and a Masochist go on a date. It is a lovely evening. They have a nice meal, then go to a show. On the way back to the Masochist's place, they stop for a drink to talk. Then the Sadist walks the Masochist up to their apartment. At the door, the Masochist can no longer contain their pent up desires. Falling prostrate, the Masochist begs, "Please, hit me, spank me, hurt me!" To which the Sadist replies, "No."

To what extent are we enslaved by Facebook?

Beowulfsfriend comments on May 30, 2020:

So true anymore. Of course, how many have FB friends we have never met. I have a couple through real friends. One young veteran who I became concerned about once, now corresponds with me all the time. Good kid - PTSD.

Spreading real poison for over 50 years

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jan 7, 2020:

Genetically engineered human.

Catholic priest in Italy suspended for pro-LGBTQ stance ‘We have blessed anything, including ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Oct 5, 2022:

Not surprised. The Roman catholic church hasn't changed; if anything it has gotten more evangelical like.

The good old days

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jan 21, 2019:

But he can't be a man because he doesn't smoke the same cigarettes as me. In the late 80's a friend made it to Europe to try out for soccer. He said almost everyone smoked. Damn. Think how f'ing good they could have been with working lungs.

Strange and Disgusting Political Logic I don't like either of them but it seems odd that Rep.

Beowulfsfriend comments on May 5, 2021:

The party of family values.

TX Lt.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jun 4, 2021:

Considering that most white nationalists are evangelicals, I will call that beyond pure bullshit.

Religious beliefs

Beowulfsfriend comments on Dec 18, 2022:

No. I think religious beliefs are damaging humanity. I love fairy tales, but religion with its so called history is too much bullshit. Although, one could argue some of those old testament tales with a little modern take...... a film of Sodom and Gomorrah opening scene Lot fucking his two daughters and with flashbacks.

Florida Democratic Party would be eliminated under new bill

Beowulfsfriend comments on Mar 1, 2023:

Stupid ass proposed law. I hope it ends up on DeShitness's desk and gives him a national dilemma.

This is one those songs which conjures those transcendent moments of intimacy, not necessarily ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Mar 1, 2022:

I have been a long time fan. When she would come on the David Letterman Show, her father, John Raitt, would appear and the two would usually sing "Oklahoma" as her father had been pretty big on Broadway.

The Gambler During the Great Depression a stranger walked into a bar in a Midwest town and said...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Mar 9, 2023:

A nice twist on an oldie.

Never believed her bullshit

Beowulfsfriend comments on Nov 7, 2021:

I read Aaron Rogers puts her healing vaginal eggs up his ass. I really did read that.

The Republicans opposed everything that Obama did yet he handled it with class.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Oct 8, 2020:

What a narcissistic psychopath does.

Pastor Recited Bible Verses While Allegedly Sexually Assaulting Underage Girl | David Gee | Friendly...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Aug 11, 2020:

He needs to be cleansed with a hot iron in all of his orifices. Head to toes.

Trump says US is building a wall in Colorado -- a state that doesn't border Mexico 😄 [cnn.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Oct 23, 2019:

Those born in New Mexico will soon not be citizens.

That Perfectly Innocent Way One Funnels Money To The Spouse Of A Supreme Court Justice While Trying ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on May 6, 2023:

SCROTUS

Ron DeSantis finally gets what he deserves in stunning development [youtube.

Beowulfsfriend comments on May 18, 2023:

It is estimated that from 400k to 600k undocumented workers are in Florida. Republicans started this problem. They made it extremely worse under Clinton when the border was actually locked down - like it actually is now. Before that, the border was very fluid; also, back then, undocumented came up and did most of the agriculture and then went home because it was cheaper; with a locked down border, undocumented were afraid to leave and get locked out.

Christian hate-preacher: I pray that gay people "have a slow, painful death"

Beowulfsfriend comments on Feb 9, 2023:

The Amerikkkan Taliban at its finest

Evangelist: (claims) I Attended an Invite-Only Gathering with a Supreme Court Justice | Hemant Mehta...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Oct 19, 2021:

As Bugs would say, "What a maroon." Before looking at the article, I thought that Clarence Thomas and his evil wife would do that. The article indicates a New Yorker, so, it ain't the more liberal one on SCOTUS. If he did meet with someone from NY, it wasn't SCOTUS, but a NYSC justice.

🤣 Stupid Infidels 🤣

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jul 2, 2021:

With that attitude, he will just get more crap.

I know my love of bacon is legendary, but this is truth

Beowulfsfriend comments on Oct 23, 2022:

Skip the tomato for more bacon.

Same couple, same often tempestuous relationship only a few months later this time.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Aug 24, 2020:

And then the frying pan broke his nose and three teeth.

Bolsonaro supporters invade Brazil presidential palace, Congress, Supreme Court | Reuters

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jan 8, 2023:

Meanwhile, Bolsonaro is most likely hiding somewhere in Florida according to reports.

Qatar is just taking management lessons from Musk

Beowulfsfriend comments on Nov 20, 2022:

I saw Budweiser, expecting to be stuck with a shit load of extra beer (only a backwoods and backwards religious nation could fuck that up at a World Cup), is giving the winning country their left over beers.

E.W. Jackson: Atheists Reject a God They Can’t See, So Why Do They Fear a Virus?

Beowulfsfriend comments on Apr 28, 2021:

Another fucking idiot. We can see viruses, just not with the unassisted eye. Maybe if "god" showed up way out in space and Hubble got a photo some would believe. Personally, I might accept a verifiable photo a proof of extraterrestrial life, but still not god.

Pat Robertson Claims Texas Election Lawsuit Part of God’s Master Plan Televangelist Pat ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Dec 11, 2020:

Evangelicals say shit about god's plan, then when it doesn't happen, they find excuses for god the almighty.

The trials and travails of being a toddler

Beowulfsfriend comments on Mar 8, 2023:

Oh the joys of the trials and travails of dealing with toddlers.

Else you'll wait forever.....

Beowulfsfriend comments on Mar 18, 2022:

Ben Franklin even talked about not forgetting old women. And, he was a very active guy.

Right-Wing Activist Who Said He Was “Vaccinated in Christ” Dies of COVID | Hemant Mehta | ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Oct 11, 2021:

And, if it were to turn out that there is a christ, yahew, etc (there isn't), according to my readings from their works, they will all tell him he was a dumbass. They might even put him in hypocrite hell.

True then - even more so now!

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jul 10, 2021:

Most certainly many do.

And it's handy for baking.

Beowulfsfriend comments on May 17, 2023:

Loved the puns.

Nothing suprises me now

Beowulfsfriend comments on Sep 26, 2020:

Being fired from a castle full of little, French men.

Bikers for Trump.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Aug 18, 2018:

Yea dumbasses, boycott Harley, made in the US, while wearing your MAGA hats made in China or Vietnam. I live in Gettysburg. A few years ago people were going wacko like they like to do on the confederate flag(actual they don't even know because that flag is the battle flag of Northern Virginia and not the real stars and bars as the original was nicknamed). It was after Wal-Mart stopped selling them. Bike week in Gettysburg. Bikers called a shop I know to see if they had the flags. For now, until they run out. Bikers came in looked at the prices of the American made ones and bought the cheaper foreign made ones. So much for MAGA. Make America Grey, old white men Again. Except that's me! AAAAHHHHHH! Save me. I refuse to be one of the pod people.

Calvin's not right very often, but...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jan 2, 2021:

I agree that people can't handle the tech they already have.

Moral failings of leaders collapsed even the best societies, finds study - Big Think

Beowulfsfriend comments on Feb 10, 2021:

I have no doubt that is correct. And, the US, by trying to stay the undisputed top dog military, etc. is setting itself up for a major fall.

Transgender 8th Grade student questioned by Texas officials at school, mother says - The Washington ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Sep 10, 2022:

With no minor's advocate or parent, that sounds highly illegal, but, it is Texass.

I asked Maud how she lost her husband Norman and she told her sad story.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Dec 8, 2022:

Wrong blood type is deadly - it killed my brother. .

E.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Feb 6, 2021:

Your secret is safe here 😁😁😁😁👍

Get the joke

Beowulfsfriend comments on May 29, 2020:

Yes. I hear Canada thought about building a wall, but instead put up posters with snow and signs that said no guns allowed.

LMAO perfect

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jan 17, 2021:

Miss Jane had a lot more sense

Still amazed and delighted at how close to the surface my emotions are, now that I'm off ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Oct 25, 2019:

I feel quite similarly. I still use St John's wort however. My depression got so bad along with my marriage and abuse that the meds and hospitalization were needed. But, I'm pretty good and happy now. Best wishes for your future.

Man called largest child porn purveyor gets 27-year sentence

Beowulfsfriend comments on Sep 16, 2021:

Not long enough.

The TRUE religion....

Beowulfsfriend comments on Oct 25, 2021:

Not sure what I am seeing - looks a little like the Flying Spaghetti God Monster thingy. Or, possibly a bunch of worms needing to be dewormed from a sheep.

Yup this is accurate

Beowulfsfriend comments on Apr 5, 2021:

From the party of family values. The sacks should wake up - instead of chasing pervs ina pizza shop, with no basement, just look to their own.

I have a tiny , little dilemma: Yesterday Lia, my student, and granddaughter came running int the ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on May 16, 2020:

Same good suggestions below, so I will take the paranoia route. One of your neighbors planted it and is secretly watching. They are either hoping it converts you magically, or burns you up in a mass of flames. 😂😂😂😂 Hanging it up, with or without a note is a nice gesture.

I was thinking the same thing.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Aug 8, 2022:

All mushrooms are edible; it is just that some are only edible once.

How extremist Christian theology is driving the right-wing assault on democracy | Salon.com

Beowulfsfriend comments on Nov 7, 2021:

They have become the Amerikkkan Taliban. One sad thing is that FDR relied heavily on the evangelical movement to push his social agenda. What is left of those people we now call Jimmy Carter evangelicals. Today's evangelicals are just plain hateful and bigoted. Sometimes, I almost wish hell existed so I could sit in it when I arrive and welcome all their hypocrisy filled asses.

Southern Baptist leader: Christians who don't vote Republican are 'unfaithful'

Beowulfsfriend comments on Sep 16, 2022:

That is political a d should be an automatic loss of tax exemption.

I am very partial to the pop music of the early 60’s when I was an early teen.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Mar 22, 2021:

I was just a kid, but I remember this. I did not remember the band's name. Cool old song.

I guess they are all just kinky....

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jan 21, 2022:

As I have liked to say about Ted Cruz, I can prove his idiocy without saying anything political. He once said he would argue that the movie Godfather III was the best of the trilogy.

History repeats itself. :o

Beowulfsfriend comments on Dec 27, 2019:

The Brut deodorant did it.

What's in that jacket?😂

Beowulfsfriend comments on May 21, 2021:

"That jacket smells like my lost love Jasmine."

Lab-grown black hole behaves just like Stephen Hawking said it would | Live Science

Beowulfsfriend comments on Mar 2, 2021:

Just wait till the first research assistant decides to touch one...........

Chick-fil-A no longer donates to controversial Christian charities

Beowulfsfriend comments on Nov 19, 2019:

I saw. Good, and yet, I'm not going back. Their damage and attitudes live on.

Since Christians don't follow him anymore he has been looking for alternative career options....

Beowulfsfriend comments on Dec 12, 2021:

Jesus as a rocker - "Like dudes and dudettes, the water fountains have acid in them. Rock on! Sushi and bread after the concert."

Christian Defends Name of Robert E.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Mar 26, 2021:

Yea, the Jesus also never talked about or condemned homosexuality. The jesus did, supposedly, rail on divorce more than once. Maybe the hypocrites should know more.

I'm not sure who needs to see this, or even why?

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jul 23, 2022:

It's like car manuals - they used to explain how to set the points and timing and now warn against drinking radiator fluid.

Joy to you and me ✌❤

Beowulfsfriend comments on Feb 20, 2019:

Joy to the world.

Their just aren't simple answers to complex questions no matte what you would like to believe

Beowulfsfriend comments on May 10, 2022:

Yup. Been saying that since high school - complex problems seldom, if ever, have easy answers. Yet, that ain't the Merican way.

I remember being shown how to change these, just in case.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Dec 10, 2022:

Had those in the house that I bought and raised 3 kids. I redid much of the inside myself. I got those replaced when my neighbor's tree fell and took out my electric line - insurance paid for it.

Oh and I crafted Groaner Cat tonight - mainly in honor of Isaac Asimov - he loved a good pun.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jan 2, 2020:

I really like Fat Fred.

Feel the need to innocently upset a white Christian today? I got you.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jul 16, 2021:

That happened before white Jesus wrote the King James version in English for the true believers.

Poor spelling and bad grammar are rampant today.

Beowulfsfriend comments on Mar 2, 2023:

Like the Roman soldier scene in Life of Brian.

Sure feels that way

Beowulfsfriend comments on Aug 24, 2022:

That's why I don't look behind me.

The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Apr 30, 2023:

And it appears to be getting worse since he made that statement. Not sure when he said that, but he died in the early 1990's.

Something is different about the layout. I don't care for it. Anyone else want it switched back?

Beowulfsfriend comments on Dec 12, 2020:

I think most people agree with you.

I just came to a realization I just realized I’m still angry with my ex husband (married 20 ...

Beowulfsfriend comments on Jan 27, 2020:

That happens to many people, more often women. It is good to identify such feelings and their reasons. Having done so, now try and build on your progression of self. It is always ok to be angry and to have emotion, just try not to ruminate and allow that emotion to control who you are. Best wishes as you work toward recovery.

Arizona Gubernatorial Candidate Kari Lake Asks Court to Name Her Election Winner

Beowulfsfriend comments on Dec 10, 2022:

If she took off the 8 layers of make-up, she would look like that now.