You've tried the rest, now try the one you'd drop your standards for. I'm not rich or pretty, but...
erm...
not sure where I'm going with this...
So anyway. I Have been working daily at a local smiths for 78 years as an anvil. I'm also an Award winning architectural feature.
Movie Star handsome (like Steve Buscemi), i have the sort of body that Family Guy calls "1950's buff".
Looking, ideally, for a brewery heiress with an IQ of 6 and a double barrelled surname.
hearted (due to a rare condition). Generous with other people's stuff. Muy guapo. I firmly believe in Deja Vu. Get back to me and let's CARPE the freakin crap out of every DIEM. Not looking to change your life, as it's probably going pretty well as it is. But... i am good company for the quieter moments we all have. Bloody good gig buddy, too.
I await your messages and unceasing praise. Job's a good'un.
No Tories. I have some standards, you know.
I see a few ladies are looking for a partner in crime. Well i've been casing a couple of post offices for a few weeks now... so we won't be stuck for a first date. It doesn't necessarily have to be armed robbery either! I'm cool with safecrackers and shoplifters too! No car theft, though. Alright, maybe a bit of car theft. Deffo no video piracy. .
I will not treat you like a princess as i cannot afford a Mercedes to crash.
If I drop you a message, it doesn't mean I'm desperate to get in your keks or that a wang pic is imminent. It simply means you've caught my eye or I like your profile. So, be sociable and think about maybe saying hi, or howdy, or ahoy-hoy or whatever is street for hiya. I can't promise any great awakening, but we might have a giggle. And isn't that what we all really want? Well... Apart from food. And comfort. You know what I mean...
So... why not be the lady who everyone will say "why's that slammin' hottie with an oaf like him?" about, and we'll leave confused people everywhere in our wake...