It's a pretty stained-glass window!

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

Reminds me of the Blazing Saddles quote. "We fought Dicks'

Trying to explain something to someone over the phone.

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

Sometimes the thingamajig needs tightening. If that doesn't work, take it back to the store and get a big hammer.

Some shit is sealed up tighter than a nun's ass.

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

You may have get out the old chop saw.

Digestible by most humans...as compared to what? What concerns me is the other 40%.

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

Boned then rolled. What could go wrong there?

I am right now... :) take that as a compliment ya'll

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

That's what I do best and that's why I am here.

Was this on purpose?

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

No thanks they look like deep fried dicks.

I can't even.

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

Learn to yodel. Say "Little old lady who" three or four times.

I don't think so.

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

Sandwich of the day at the Cunnilingus Restaurant.

Did you see that?!?

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

That is the biggest jack rabbit I have seen.

British cop in Chase

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

And everyone gets to live.

And that's why I'm single.

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

Because I'm a grammar Nazi asshole.

I laughed too much

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

Holy Cow

Free peep show

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

Wardrobe malfunction.

Confused and seriously fucked in the head.

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

It's a paradox.

Don't worry another job will come along.

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

Better days are coming.

Oh man, those Russian dolls...

Eirteacher comments on May 23, 2018:

Rumor has it that those Russian chicks are coming to America to have babies.

For all you runners out there....

Eirteacher comments on May 22, 2018:

Now that's motivational.

Happy family

Eirteacher comments on May 22, 2018:

Are you not your brothers keeper.

Look into my eyes

Eirteacher comments on May 22, 2018:

I was winning until I looked into her eyes.

I love western movies, so which one is your favorite?

Eirteacher comments on May 22, 2018:

Blazing Saddles

Those Canadians are wild.

Eirteacher comments on May 21, 2018:

Only on FUX NOISE,

So blissful...

Eirteacher comments on May 21, 2018:

Look on the bright side. The cost for fertilizer will go down next planting time

Sums it up

Eirteacher comments on May 21, 2018:

You would be the smartest, wildest puss on the block.

I believe that is the correct terminology.

Eirteacher comments on May 21, 2018:

Big badass in a red wife beater.

Hmmm.... Maybe

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

Did anyone get a question on weather this was appropriate or not?

That's as far as it's going

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

My girl friends X said, "How do you like that used pussy?" I said, "Not bad after you get past the used stuff."

Wonder what the lecture is about.

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

Monkey Business

More newsworthy than the royal wedding

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

She is a good photographer / reporter. She got right on it.

I can never understand cats love taking over dog toys.

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

They do it to piss the dog off.

I just wanted to thank everyone for the great recommendations for my trip to DC.

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

You are having way too much fun. Have a good time.

Stolen from memes...

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

Cats don't like water. So he just walks all over it.

Peter pan....

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

Are you sure this isn't Tinkerbell?

Cuz science

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

But people will be too stupid to drive them.

Why was the chicken sent to anger management class? A clear case of irritable fowl syndrome.

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

They sent me to an Anger Management Class. I told them to get fucked and walked out.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalottapuss

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

That's what I was in a former life.

Psychiatrists like Kentucky Freud Chicken

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

Sigmund said those little Austianian girls were "Finger Licken Good".

You gotta be careful of corn at night.

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

That's good, but remember candy corn is not a vegetable.

Boys will be boys

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

Time to wrap Sonny up for an extended stay.

Worth it!!

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

The original fat cat.

This is my handsome fellow Redd and my shy girl Minnie

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

And good morning to you and your kitties.

Corporate merger

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

That just makes her popular.

Dat ass though..

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

The ladies be saying "Big buts drive me nuts".

Murray the cannibal didn't like skinny women. He preferred them with a little meat on their bones.

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

Two cannibals were sharing a man. The first one said "How is it going"? The second answered "I'm having a ball". The first one said "You are eating to fast".

Uumm.... I'll wait

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

Yank the crank.

Women and their vice's

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

Can I be your pusherman?

Taco Bell....not exactly food.

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

No more expensive colonics when you can get a burrito for $2.00.

I really didn't but.. if I did..

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

I missed church again this morning. My cats let me sleep in. Good kitties. 1300 Sundays in a row.

Poor guy ain't gettin' a fair shake...

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

Wawawaht the fffffffuk

Dat ass tho.

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

Big wood buts drive me nuts.

I always loved running errands for my teachers.

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

I always took the long way.

CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE ADULT EDUCATION CENTER.

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

I finally learned these basic fundamentals after two tries.

Deception

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

It's nice if you are into camel toe.

Bear Attack!!!

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

The left handed shake will always throw them off.

Can't fool me!!

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

I hope we don't we look like that when we talk to trumpers?

I've felt like this....

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

My cats are like an alarm clock about 7 O'clock every morning,

Culture, I know

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

Get Bent.

Rule 1 of Fight Club...

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10216041417332317=a.2201931011881.128278.1355503586=3

..... and repetition.

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

The ship could have been named Eileen,

We all know a few

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

Don't look at me like that.

That bumper sticker.. "a closed mind is", not thinking this sheep is going to a petting zoo.

Eirteacher comments on May 20, 2018:

Being from Montana, this appears to be a guy on a date.

Think, before you puff, puff pass....

Eirteacher comments on May 19, 2018:

Amy turns into the big Dog

Yo mama!!!

Eirteacher comments on May 19, 2018:

That will put a smile on her face.

That's ridiculous! Everybody knows you don't shake a beer!

Eirteacher comments on May 19, 2018:

Wisdom from the Bard.

Eavesdropping....

Eirteacher comments on May 18, 2018:

Only trump supporters.

Or the 2nd, nobody likes ass juice

Eirteacher comments on May 18, 2018:

There is one cold ass bitch.

Trump vs Obama

Eirteacher comments on May 18, 2018:

Those trumpanzees sure hate this quote. Because they can't stand the truth.

Noah's Ark, Kangaroos and Australia

Eirteacher comments on May 18, 2018:

Now think about the poor penguins that had to waddle all the way to Antarctica.

A guy is driving down a straight country road doing 60.

Eirteacher comments on May 18, 2018:

That's funny. I kicked the slats out of my crib the first time I heard that one. The old ones are the best ones.

We are farmers

Eirteacher comments on May 18, 2018:

I got kicked off of Farmersonly.Com True story.

Oliver...he’s a cutie

Eirteacher comments on May 18, 2018:

Olli is a handsome lad.

Ribbit..

Eirteacher comments on May 18, 2018:

Ribbet Who me?????

Elf on a shelf... nope... not this time.

Eirteacher comments on May 18, 2018:

Evil little man in the boat.

Deflated balloons

Eirteacher comments on May 18, 2018:

That's me in a few years.

A few for our Muslim viewers...

Eirteacher comments on May 18, 2018:

Sage words from the Ayatollah Ko-maniac.

You're so welcome.

Eirteacher comments on May 18, 2018:

Now try for tRump.

Be careful what you wish for

Eirteacher comments on May 18, 2018:

Careful what you wish for.

Santa died for your sins.

Eirteacher comments on May 18, 2018:

That explains why I didn't get any presents last year. And I thought it was because I was a bad boy.

I hate to admit that I liked this, but I really did... [youtu.be]

Eirteacher comments on May 17, 2018:

I hear Laurel. But who really gives a rats ass.

People R' dumb.

Eirteacher comments on May 17, 2018:

I didn't think it was that complicated.

She's all set

Eirteacher comments on May 17, 2018:

Be prepared.

She's special

Eirteacher comments on May 17, 2018:

That's why I call her my honey.

Dammit! My favorite place!

Eirteacher comments on May 17, 2018:

Take her, over there.

Is that a pistol in your pocket?

Eirteacher comments on May 17, 2018:

He has a rod for his Moll.

Impossible standards.

Eirteacher comments on May 17, 2018:

Come on where are the lady comments.

Something

Eirteacher comments on May 17, 2018:

I don't think I would give a pissed off women an ax.

I have bless her/him for every occasion, especially stupid people.

Eirteacher comments on May 17, 2018:

Or "You are full of shit'".

When your cat is mad

Eirteacher comments on May 17, 2018:

If we can kiss and make up I will give you some tuna.

Boobies!! All day!

Eirteacher comments on May 17, 2018:

Remember the Bob Hope rewrite: "Thanks for the Mammaries"

Boobies!! All day!

Eirteacher comments on May 17, 2018:

I am a boob for BOOBS.

X Rated Casket

Eirteacher comments on May 16, 2018:

She was very popular.

Roses are red, cows have udders...

Eirteacher comments on May 16, 2018:

Just keep this as a family secret.

Looks pretty complicated.

Eirteacher comments on May 16, 2018:

Where is the deep end?

Just get on the bus, kid!

Eirteacher comments on May 16, 2018:

Mother of the year.2018

Safe sex is the best

Eirteacher comments on May 16, 2018:

Or the fuking you get for the fuking you got.

Posthumous Award

Eirteacher comments on May 16, 2018:

We will send out "Thoughts and Prayers".

You may wish you could die if you don't

Eirteacher comments on May 16, 2018:

Always use gloves.

Maybe he's really a nice guy.

Eirteacher comments on May 16, 2018:

Juan of you has to go.

Musn't actually DO anything and anger "God" (NRA).

Eirteacher comments on May 16, 2018:

Problem solving for Nuts Racists and Assholes.

Thanks everyone for welcoming me here. ?

Eirteacher comments on May 16, 2018:

He can be your new BFF.

Let me think this through...

Eirteacher comments on May 16, 2018:

Decisions decisions .