Just look, they have wings and everything.

EricJones comments on Aug 16, 2024:

I assume Raylene's never heard of the big bang theory.

Pretty sure this won't work this time around....

EricJones comments on Aug 16, 2024:

But the Ukrainian troops are already at the front.

It must have heard JD Vance is in town…

EricJones comments on Aug 16, 2024:

Hope the springs are good on that vehicle because that couch is gonna be bouncing up and down for a while.

Saluting the flag.... [x.com]

EricJones comments on Aug 16, 2024:

I can just hear that guy on the ground-"hurry up and get that thing down, I can't hold it all day

What's good for the Goose is good for the....

EricJones comments on Aug 15, 2024:

Insurance will cover Viagra, but not birth control polls.

Whoa Black Betty.....

EricJones comments on Aug 15, 2024:

So that's how they came up with the lyrics.

And Mary Kay?

EricJones comments on Aug 15, 2024:

My debbie (late girlfriend) used to sell that stuff and as I'm cleaning out the house I'm finding avon everything all over the place. Christmas ornaments, full kitchen place settings for 4 (she wanted 2 kids) aftershave/perfume bottles.

I can relate to that. 😁

EricJones comments on Aug 15, 2024:

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is are you f##king crazy?! The last time we did something like that we spent the next 2 days in bed and another 2 days moving around like the mummy (the original), then 2 more days moving around like Frankenstein's monster before we could move somewhat near normal. So, no way in hell, no, don't even think it.

50% population loves pizza

EricJones comments on Aug 14, 2024:

Can I be dessert?

Don't say never heard of him

EricJones comments on Aug 14, 2024:

Where's Brutus when you need him.

Breaking News ............... New Campaign Logo Launched

EricJones comments on Aug 14, 2024:

Well, trump does weigh as much as a sofa.

People are Flocking to Texas

EricJones comments on Aug 14, 2024:

So that's why republicans keep saying all the people in the world are coming to the texas border, which would also explain all the empties in the back alley.

Just my luck...

EricJones comments on Aug 14, 2024:

It's like having a can of rustoleum rust away.

That about sums it up

EricJones comments on Aug 14, 2024:

And usually in the middle of the night too.

Restaurant reviews from Kursk.... [x.com]

EricJones comments on Aug 13, 2024:

First gas station across the border, pull in for a quick top off and don't forget to grab the Michelin guide while you're there

Question: My clock keeps jumping from 4:03 to 4:05.

EricJones comments on Aug 13, 2024:

I've always had trouble with turning the clocks back in the fall. At 2 am I turn my clock back an hour, then an hour later it's 2am again so I turn my clock back an hour and on and on it goes. I think it's a stupid idea.

Adversarial medical positions, but both sides are right.

EricJones comments on Aug 13, 2024:

A lot of parents video the delivery these days. This is a good collection.

“To be conscious that you are ignorant of the facts is the first step to ...

EricJones comments on Aug 13, 2024:

Somebody should show that to trump and his minions, but they'll have no idea what it means.

It's an excruciating 10 feet walk every day

EricJones comments on Aug 12, 2024:

I didn't have that option, my job was very hands on so trudge to work i did.

Bob, a 65-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, strolls into the Country Club with a stunning ...

EricJones comments on Aug 12, 2024:

Bob knows a dumb blonde golddigger when he sees one, and the magic words to whisper in her ear.

Pay your bills, Donald

EricJones comments on Aug 12, 2024:

When the hole is deep enough he's going to declare bankruptcy-again.

Hi Donny! Sorry to hear that you fell out with me over the COVID 19 thing as we were such good pals ...

EricJones comments on Aug 12, 2024:

The CDC had a branch office in Beijing that trump closed to pay for his tax cuts for the rich. That office could have been able to get a handle on covid and at least given the world a leg up on what was happening.

Their God is so forgiving… I think this is the 111th Commandment in the new king trump Bible ...

EricJones comments on Aug 12, 2024:

The fifth child that he acknowledges having fathered, how many more are out there that the world doesn't know about.

A reasonable request it seems

EricJones comments on Aug 12, 2024:

I guess they don't want any bang bang rose'

This made me laugh.

EricJones comments on Aug 12, 2024:

I don't know about greatest, it's not too hard to pick him apart; but biggest liar- he's got that sewn up.

Hmm. If only he had something to block that glare…

EricJones comments on Aug 12, 2024:

Like that guy sitting just to his left and slightly in front.

Us vs Him!

EricJones comments on Aug 11, 2024:

If that were trump being greeted by girl scouts he'd want them to show him their cookies.

Celine Dion takes down Trump! Cease and desist! [bbc.

EricJones comments on Aug 11, 2024:

They should demand a stiff royalty fee from the orange ding dong

Remember this one?? Lock him up!

EricJones comments on Aug 11, 2024:

Do you want those words on white bread, with mayo and some hot mustard just for the extra kick in the butt.

Accuracy counts, but so does velocity.

EricJones comments on Aug 10, 2024:

It's really a support dog, the artist just dropped a few too many LSD tabs.

And this steering wheel sticking out of my pants is driving me nuts, too. Aaaarrgh

EricJones comments on Aug 10, 2024:

He took a Viagra and it's been more than 4 hours and it won't go away on it's own.

Too close to the bone?

EricJones comments on Aug 10, 2024:

Balls said the queen, If I had 2 I'd be king. Which made the king laugh, not because he wanted to but because he had to, Which made the queen laugh, not because she had to but because she wanted to.

Hold my beer!!!

EricJones comments on Aug 9, 2024:

One of the greatest inventions of the human race, now in the extra super duper size. Available at hardware stores nationwide.

Is it Saturday yet, I'm very, very tired!!!

EricJones comments on Aug 9, 2024:

We have those trafficonias in pennsylvania too, they start to sprout around st Patrick's day and die off around thanksgiving.

Typical.....

EricJones comments on Aug 9, 2024:

My cats are firm believers in testing the theory of gravity everywhere in the house.

In some ways you feel sorry for him, but in the end his fame will live on for years.

EricJones comments on Aug 8, 2024:

All he had to do is move the uprights up about 2 inches and he would have cleared easily.

almost like Jesus

EricJones comments on Aug 8, 2024:

He needs to die for his own damn sins, because my sins are nowhere near as bad as his.

Went back to work today!

EricJones comments on Aug 7, 2024:

Those princesses ain't gonna be working for disney very long with that kind of attitude

One of the benefits of being retired is not having that happen anymore, but i remember the feeling.

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

I worked with very sharp objects, hypodermic needles, and everybody just kinda left me alone.

Let's get rowdy.

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

Wouldn't that picture look interesting on the front page of the newspaper.

Listen to his story

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

He could comb his beard......

You knew anything about this?

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

I wonder how the female secret service agent felt about protecting a child molesting, misogynistic, rapist?

Buck buck buckAAAAWW.

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

There is a polka song/dance called the chicken dance. They should play and perform it at all his public appearances.

Watching the Olympics all night has led to some neat discoveries on the web. Here are a few

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

Truth social should collapse soon, just like every other enterprise he has brought into the world.

Eat Healthy, Exercise. Die anyway

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

Richards died long ago, what we see now is an early attempt at an AI android.

Looking all over for my phone just now and finally found it...

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

That's one selfie I don't think I wanna see. That's like my house, put something down and some furball is parked on it.

I need some of these.

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

I have an easier solution-I don't go

I'm still off from work.....

EricJones comments on Aug 6, 2024:

A sugar daddy that don't want no sugar is called a corpse. So she can manifest all she wants-it ain't happening.

Will you enter?

EricJones comments on Aug 5, 2024:

Dante really made a simple concept complicated didn't he. And the church just sucked it right up and made it official canon just to scare people more.

Happy Sunday Morning!!! Hope everyone has a wonderful day!!!

EricJones comments on Aug 5, 2024:

If you cut your hot dogs in half you could put them on the hamburger buns, I've done it so it can be done. And if you put lots of stuff on your dog and squeeze the roll too tight, the bottom of the dog roll might split openand then you have a mess,.Won't happen if you use a hamburger bun

My cat Leo was having a fit at the kitchen window this morning, usually when he sees another cat.

EricJones comments on Aug 4, 2024:

Somebody gave that squirrel a couple of black eyes.

It took some digging, but they found it.

EricJones comments on Aug 4, 2024:

He's just a big chicken. What I can't figure out is how that little foot can support all that lard?

What an advertisement!

EricJones comments on Aug 3, 2024:

After he looses he could go into infomercial product sales just like all the other washed up tv stars.

I prefer pie but…

EricJones comments on Aug 3, 2024:

I do prefer to eat dessert first, and if there's any room left the rest of the meal later.

Makes me want to look at used cars...

EricJones comments on Aug 3, 2024:

If her bedroom is above the tv room she would be right.

Whatever happened to English...

EricJones comments on Aug 3, 2024:

I'm with mom on that one.

I feel better but not dick pic better! 🤣🤣🤣🤣My daughter's brother in law thinks I wanna ...

EricJones comments on Aug 3, 2024:

I'll tell you what goes on there-It's where trump built a wall to keep all the illegal immigrants from crossing from mexcio into texas

Let's put some happy little X's on the jugs.....

EricJones comments on Aug 2, 2024:

With a barista like that, he just might develop a new addiction.

About that hiding your heritage shit...

EricJones comments on Aug 2, 2024:

Republicans trying to hide what they do and falsely scream about others doing it.

A Chinaman changes 50,000 Juan at the bank, the teller says that's $6,800 Dollars sir, you cheat me...

EricJones comments on Aug 2, 2024:

He needs to work on his language skills.

If a tree fell in a forest and flattened Donald Trump and there was no-one to hear it.

EricJones comments on Aug 2, 2024:

Given his inability to hold it in to begin with, the tree would most likely squeeze it right out of him and probably blow out his diaper.

Trump said he would have gotten hostages released for nothing…

EricJones comments on Aug 2, 2024:

If I heard the news right some Harris lady did a lot of behind the scenes work to get the hostages out of russia. That should piss-off a few orange people.

You know it’s true…

EricJones comments on Aug 2, 2024:

Do they have catwoman jump out of an oversized cake?

Campaign update

EricJones comments on Aug 1, 2024:

Why did that kid not aim for the open shirt? Why? Why?

JD VANCE VIEW

EricJones comments on Aug 1, 2024:

That's a crock-he can't even see reality from his house.

I'm the previous old release, stable but a just a little bit obsolete. LOL

EricJones comments on Aug 1, 2024:

Love the footwear. We've been over this before-to avoid the debate with Ms Harris, that's why. That's a quarterly report I don't wanna see.

A new campaign ad

EricJones comments on Aug 1, 2024:

Musk got burned on that one in a hurry didn't he.

Just got my new...

EricJones comments on Aug 1, 2024:

When people ask me for my cell number I like to tell them cell 218, level 2, d block.

Sometimes I worry about the direction the human race is going....

EricJones comments on Aug 1, 2024:

I only use internet porn for the articles.

You know it’s true.

EricJones comments on Aug 1, 2024:

He was doing more than just sniffing........

JD is too easy, like shooting fish in a barrel easy,

EricJones comments on Jul 31, 2024:

Us old unmarried childless men who like cats demand equal time.

September 10, 2024

EricJones comments on Jul 31, 2024:

His sentencing is a week later so he won't have jail time as an excuse.

So Trump told Christians if you vote for me you will never have to vote again.

EricJones comments on Jul 31, 2024:

Well, he does think that hitler was a great guy.

Job opening...

EricJones comments on Jul 31, 2024:

I don't think he's getting a job at that place.

I say we start a gofundme account for this guy…

EricJones comments on Jul 31, 2024:

Give mom a hysterectomy in 1942.

Mammom, George Frederic Watts 1880s (Looks familiar but those gnarly plowman's hands never ...

EricJones comments on Jul 31, 2024:

Trumps held the whips that they flogged the lower class workers with.

German WIFI......

EricJones comments on Jul 31, 2024:

That is really cool. I wonder if that's what's on the sign for the restaurants house wifi?

I am renowned for my cheesy humor,

EricJones comments on Jul 30, 2024:

I'd say they're pretty cheesy.

I'd like to see him make a comeback just for this purpose.

EricJones comments on Jul 30, 2024:

Congress only spent 1.73 mil on an investigation??? They spend more than that looking into why the restroom was painted maroon instead of red.

Yeah, I want him to lose catastrophically and go to prison!

EricJones comments on Jul 30, 2024:

So that's how they make you drink out of a glass at the old folks home. Soon it'll be a sippy cup.

Go figure...

EricJones comments on Jul 30, 2024:

I don't think it has anything to do with the fish but the bait used to catch the fish.

And now a word from our sponsor, the Cat Women of America

EricJones comments on Jul 30, 2024:

What about the old cat men? We hate them both too.

Dementia Don - I don't think his vocabulary even reached first grade, and my toddler granddaughter ...

EricJones comments on Jul 29, 2024:

And the rectal control of an infant.

Question: Do you have that one friend who has a heart of gold and would do anything for you, ...

EricJones comments on Jul 29, 2024:

I have the mouth of a sailor or two, does that count?

I don't believe him....

EricJones comments on Jul 29, 2024:

Go through his bank account and look to see if he paid any plush money.

Bessie got played once again.

EricJones comments on Jul 29, 2024:

Instead of a cow,, bring a bunch of bats-they eat the skeeters and I would think bessie will be happier, and as the old advert said-happy cows give good milk. I have 8 dogs and I don't know how many cats. Does that mean I have many paws and am the hated enemy of vance at the same time?

The hero of the dumb

EricJones comments on Jul 29, 2024:

Nothing but a fat(very)bully who will take credit for others work and will always blame someone else for his f..k ups. Will never give a straight answer to a question.

“The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human ...

EricJones comments on Jul 29, 2024:

I had an instructor from the fire dept who used to say "the brain can absorb what the ass can endure". Both statements are very true.

That's it I'm switching...

EricJones comments on Jul 29, 2024:

Listerine is about 25% alcohol to start with.

Great advise...

EricJones comments on Jul 29, 2024:

My dream is to make it to the bathroom in time. (without stepping on a dog or cat)

Tribute to the dumbfucks that were offended by the opening of the Olympics 🙄🙄🙄🙄

EricJones comments on Jul 28, 2024:

Small minded people, afraid of personal growth. Can't accept that others are different and probably far smarter than they are.

Been there, done that...

EricJones comments on Jul 28, 2024:

Hey Billy; call the manager, somebody blew out the windows again.

Comforting is not easy

EricJones comments on Jul 28, 2024:

I don't think he's gonna get much sympathy from her on that issue. A left cross maybe, she's already made the fist.

Chuckles on Chuckles the 🍊Clown🍊

EricJones comments on Jul 28, 2024:

I think he also set a record for most tax payer money spent flying him to all those vacations and golf courses.

“I’m as pure as snow, but I drifted”………..Mae West.

EricJones comments on Jul 28, 2024:

That reminds me of a quote by Tallulah Bankhead-"I'm as pure as the driven slush" They were of the same era and lived their lives on their terms and didn't really care what others thought.

And that is true!

EricJones comments on Jul 28, 2024:

Nah, melania's just a gold digger who wants to be a widow as soon as possible

Wrong question...

EricJones comments on Jul 28, 2024:

Some interesting answers no doubt, and not the ones the teacher expected.

Cat lady demographic…

EricJones comments on Jul 28, 2024:

Maybe trump picking vance was a good idea after all. Now everybody knows what a total moronic asshole he really is and absolutely destroy his future.

Perception verses reality

EricJones comments on Jul 28, 2024:

Is that a poster of all the women trump has nailed?

The magats making comedy everyday!!!

EricJones comments on Jul 27, 2024:

If those girls were smart(given they're trumpers they're not) They'd put those bandages over their mouths or their crotch.