I know...I'll let myself out

EricJones comments on Jul 11, 2024:

I'm getting me a bunch of baguettes and heading for that factory-I love brie. Love the pun too.

is this normal for liberals....

EricJones comments on Jul 11, 2024:

Sounds like donnie boy is getting his dirty laundry aired out.

Is it really the same?

EricJones comments on Jul 11, 2024:

Instead of shit on a shingle, is that fart on a shingle?

Carbon dating

EricJones comments on Jul 11, 2024:

Is that museum match .com??

Arizona here anyone?

EricJones comments on Jul 11, 2024:

My late girlfriend never used her upstairs except for storage. I'm cleaning the place out and a few weeks ago I found a bunch of candles that had melted together.

Will the house sell?

EricJones comments on Jul 11, 2024:

If you can find a matching asshole you're good to go.

A noble goal

EricJones comments on Jul 10, 2024:

Usually I laugh so I guess I must be disturbed.

Behold the field…

EricJones comments on Jul 10, 2024:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vqbk9cDX0l0

🤦🏼‍♀️I can’t believe we’re still talking about the felon who should be in prison…

EricJones comments on Jul 10, 2024:

Don't put him in the kitchen, he'll eat all the food and the inmates will starve.

It didn't come with a warning

EricJones comments on Jul 10, 2024:

Good luck explaining the bruise.

Some South Dakota voter is not happy with Kristin Noem saying she would kill a dog

EricJones comments on Jul 9, 2024:

Take her to the spca, smear her with beef fat, stake her to the floor and open all the cages.

The judge has been trying hard

EricJones comments on Jul 9, 2024:

Trying too hard.

We are almost there! No wait!

EricJones comments on Jul 9, 2024:

I love the MC Escher slinky.

America is for Americans, not immigrants

EricJones comments on Jul 9, 2024:

Why did they photo shop out trumps belly??? Just so they could see bannon? Hell, he's already at camp fed for the summer.

will you watch it?

EricJones comments on Jul 9, 2024:

I think I've got other plans-like watching paint dry.

Campaigning hard to get black votes

EricJones comments on Jul 9, 2024:

I think he's taken that comb over a bit too far.

Short Monday for me!!! 😊😊😊

EricJones comments on Jul 9, 2024:

Tucson is an suv-it doesn't have a trunk, and if it's giving off an odor-it ain't perfect anymore.

I'm with you, mate. 😎

EricJones comments on Jul 9, 2024:

I'm using my hedge trimmers really hard in my late girlfriends yard (about 2 hours a session-her yard was really overgrown) and when I'm done give the blades a spray. Use it all over the place.

Tit for tat price war.

EricJones comments on Jul 8, 2024:

I'm 90 miles west of new york city and this heat wave is brutal, so I can really relate to the bra, shakespeare and the ice machine.

When a Russian troll tells me that they are winning....

EricJones comments on Jul 8, 2024:

Fighting against a free and honest press is a war that can't be won.

Relationships between the sexes

EricJones comments on Jul 7, 2024:

Somebody needs a bath. Somebody needs a food taster Too many chores to do,doing nothing just makes the hole deeper. Only until they get a restraining order and you have to stay 1000 feet away. One wrong word and the moment was all shot to hell. Sounds like somebody's ex is getting raked over the internet coals. Swiping so hard on tinder that your touch screen is wearing out? Not all of us guys are born with a big weeny.

Yeah, not a party girl…

EricJones comments on Jul 7, 2024:

If that girl has a phone in her bedroom, I want her number. I'll give her a call.

For past 10 years at least…

EricJones comments on Jul 7, 2024:

I wish. I've got an army of dogs, cats and birds and everybody wants to go out, get petted, fed-whatever. I can be 5 or 6 hours till I get to that point.

Don't honk your horn at this one...

EricJones comments on Jul 7, 2024:

It took me a minute but I got it.

This is why I avoid the pool…

EricJones comments on Jul 7, 2024:

The dating pool after 60 is even worse.

Why didn’t I think of this?

EricJones comments on Jul 6, 2024:

Well, I guess that is one solution to the problem, a bit extreme maybe.

EricJones comments on Jul 6, 2024:

Pass

Not so stupid after all?

EricJones comments on Jul 5, 2024:

I remember one time a guy used a lifeline on the last question to call his father to tell him that he (the son) was about to become a millionaire and then nailed the last question.

@Parryhotter is an old member in need of help to recover his levels, I will be out of pocket and ...

EricJones comments on Jul 5, 2024:

Beaker!!!!

Happy Fourth of July, no these are not related

EricJones comments on Jul 4, 2024:

I have a few kitties on my porch now who look like that one.They were romping in the back yard and a storm hit and began to rain and they got caught in it.

Had to take a couple of mental health days but feeling better!!!

EricJones comments on Jul 4, 2024:

I'd stay away from the tylenol hard seltzer. Between the tylenol and the alcohol, your liver is gonna be toast. I should go to the kitty rave, maybe some of mine are there.

Not much to ask

EricJones comments on Jul 4, 2024:

Do they make any that will hold that much weight????

Saving a buck or two on encryption software.

EricJones comments on Jul 4, 2024:

These are really good.

The survey said...

EricJones comments on Jul 4, 2024:

Any sub that's less than 6 inches is just a short baguette with mayo oozing out the end.

It all depends on how you pose your model...

EricJones comments on Jul 3, 2024:

I'm cleaning out my late girlfriends house and I threw out one of those organs. Had I known about that book I would have kept the organ and entertained her neighborhood.

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In his first official act since the Supreme Court granted him ...

EricJones comments on Jul 3, 2024:

Wouldn't that be a kick in the balls for the court. Setting the table for trump and the republicans for a conservative dictatorship and having a democrat beat them to the punch.

BREAKING: Hunter Biden hits Fox News with a massive lawsuit for breaking New York's revenge porn law...

EricJones comments on Jul 3, 2024:

Hope he buries them so deep they're never heard from again.

Drat foiled again...

EricJones comments on Jul 3, 2024:

My cats try to do that too but then they find out I'm vegetarian.

Or at least more than a fucking politician....

EricJones comments on Jun 30, 2024:

I used to say at work-many pro athletes make more in a game than I made in a year, and if they got hurt and came to my hospital I had to make sure that their iv solutions were correct everytime.

Food on the table

EricJones comments on Jun 27, 2024:

At least we know she knows how to "cook".

That's what I thought one time

EricJones comments on Jun 27, 2024:

With more and more people eating healthy these days, it just might be possible.

That look on his face.

EricJones comments on Jun 27, 2024:

That damn bear is getting more action than me.

I aim to please..

EricJones comments on Jun 27, 2024:

If it fits the theme of the room, that's not a bad idea

I can't un see this...

EricJones comments on Jun 27, 2024:

Tape measures sure have come a long way since I first picked one up.

🤔yeah ok 😂🤣

EricJones comments on Jun 26, 2024:

That dummy isn't helping elevate the dumb blond image out of the gutter.

Anyone bored?

EricJones comments on Jun 26, 2024:

I wanna connect with the dots.

Did you watch it?

EricJones comments on Jun 26, 2024:

There has to be more than five.

I think he should go to hydraulics anonymous

EricJones comments on Jun 26, 2024:

He needs a bumper sticker that says that and his rear bumper looks big enough for it.

Remember to save some for the bigger celebration!

EricJones comments on Jun 25, 2024:

Hopefully trump will join bannon and they can both get the wall they wanted and find out what it really feels like to be behind a wall that keeps you from freedom

What he should be wearing!!!

EricJones comments on Jun 25, 2024:

And everybody came down on Anita Hill like a ton of bricks for what she had to say about him.

What's in the box?

EricJones comments on Jun 25, 2024:

Pandora's box-what all the greek gods want to open for themselves

That goes to the non believers too. They are not your friend.

EricJones comments on Jun 25, 2024:

How about they just settle for maybe and call it even?

Always read the small print.

EricJones comments on Jun 24, 2024:

Always question when the prices seem too good to be true.

Historical fact...

EricJones comments on Jun 24, 2024:

And by the next day he had a full voice mail box for insurance, political bs, new siding, new windows, a new roof, and a Nigerian princess wanting his bank account number so she could deposit his lottery winnings.

Newly married

EricJones comments on Jun 23, 2024:

I don't think that's going to help increase the resale value of that house.

Look how he mixes the reds with the blacks for spice! And that guy is a bird flu carrier if I ever ...

EricJones comments on Jun 23, 2024:

That's one good thing about sex after 50 something-putting std's aside-nobody's getting pregnant.

Yea for sure!

EricJones comments on Jun 23, 2024:

Sounds more like where I used to work.

Well, she WAS under oath to tell the whole truth.

EricJones comments on Jun 22, 2024:

If all those exotic meats taste like chicken-just how do you know it's not chicken and the staff is pulling a fast one by telling you that it's some exotic food.

When a quest sounds fishy. 😆

EricJones comments on Jun 22, 2024:

Just admit it-the rent's overdue and you ain't got the green.

Dog has spoken....

EricJones comments on Jun 22, 2024:

Republicans want the 10 commandments put in schools, courtrooms and anywhere else they can think of. And yet the party leader that they worship like a god has destroyed probably half of them.

Hey, it worked for us boomers.

EricJones comments on Jun 22, 2024:

That's not a gen x shelter, it's a baby boomer shelter.

This guy shared his date experience. 🤣

EricJones comments on Jun 22, 2024:

He spent so much time worrying about his thumb, I wonder if he ever got a second date.

Some memes just write themselves because anyone with a couple of functional neurons between their ...

EricJones comments on Jun 21, 2024:

One more little tidbit, Sect. Clinton won the popular vote by roughly 3 million votes, she lost because of the electoral collage.

Follow me for more tips…

EricJones comments on Jun 20, 2024:

I would like to put this guy and Dr. Spock in a room together and let them have it out.

Yea i know what the bee's mean!

EricJones comments on Jun 20, 2024:

Honey is, when you get down to it, bee barf. So I don't think either one has a leg to stand on.

Don't really care about the likes, but do like showing off my little ass.

EricJones comments on Jun 20, 2024:

Cute little bugger, but I don't think that's the kind of ass they had in mind.

Good call.

EricJones comments on Jun 20, 2024:

Cheapest ride home they'll ever get.

A good question.

EricJones comments on Jun 20, 2024:

Just put a cross on the drag building and hang a sign that says "drag queens for jesus" and everything will be fine.

Hell yeah let's trade Republicans for whores!.

EricJones comments on Jun 20, 2024:

Another good reason to keep trump out of the white house-he'll want to sample them make sure they are who they say they are.

Todays' News

EricJones comments on Jun 20, 2024:

One thing she did wrong- the under shirt should be straight across, not a plunging " V" neck. Cute though.

He used to have good pick up lines

EricJones comments on Jun 20, 2024:

I guess that's one way of getting yourself killed.

A gun for every ass - MAGA style

EricJones comments on Jun 18, 2024:

It should be pointed inward if he wants to blow his brains out

EricJones comments on Jun 18, 2024:

I'm with her, but I'd be happy to sit in a coffee shop all day and debate it with her.

Somehow I’m just not hungry anymore…

EricJones comments on Jun 18, 2024:

I'd steer away from the po-po platter.

Happy Monday Evening!!!

EricJones comments on Jun 18, 2024:

The dick boxing sounds like the nutcracker-painful.

I am attracted to this religion

EricJones comments on Jun 18, 2024:

Now that's a good religion.

Just amazing

EricJones comments on Jun 18, 2024:

They banned the book how to complete a highway project.

Personalized golf ball.

EricJones comments on Jun 18, 2024:

If you can find it that means the shot wasn't that bad. If it was gone for good then that was a really bad shot.

And this is the behavior that followers of Abrahamic religions have emulated for centuries.

EricJones comments on Jun 16, 2024:

Those idiot conservatives want to ban books? Why don't they start with the bible because everything they find offensive is in the bible.

I can see the connection 🤣😂😅

EricJones comments on Jun 16, 2024:

That doesn't look like the clown car from the circus. Ya think he would at least try the hatchback. I wonder if he's ever heard of a tape measure.

I had to read The Gulag Archipelago in high school…maybe should read again.

EricJones comments on Jun 16, 2024:

And many morons still believe those lies.

Still true…

EricJones comments on Jun 16, 2024:

As long as there are conservatives and/or religion that will always apply.

I miss that part too!

EricJones comments on Jun 16, 2024:

I worked in a hospital-anybody that knew that wouldn't come near me for 2 years.

There is no trouble with living alone.

EricJones comments on Jun 16, 2024:

I eat a lot of salads in a 12" burrito wrap. All I have to wash is a knife.

Brrr! Happy father's day, dads!

EricJones comments on Jun 16, 2024:

Instead of hurricane season shouldn't that be thunderstorm/ tornado season? I love the "Gene" pool.

What a farce - the Swiss based peace conference that failed to invite one of the offended parties.

EricJones comments on Jun 16, 2024:

Putin refused the invitation, as did china. The countries that refused to sigh the declaration are big trading partners with russia and china and told not to sign. rt.om is a russian government propaganda service.

Juan Mechan, please send him to jail.

EricJones comments on Jun 13, 2024:

Burton couldn't dream up something that bad. And ol' donnie boy looks just like his mom-right down to the comb-over.

It can happen!!!

EricJones comments on Jun 13, 2024:

With his paranoid delusional revenge driven tiny little brain, I wouldn't put it past him to nuke New York City just to get even with the people involved with his felony conviction. And this time he's going to surround himself with a bunch of white racist yes-men who won't be the voices of reason to try and talk him out of it.

Is it possible?

EricJones comments on Jun 13, 2024:

Just wait for the cauliflower ear.

DA: Anything to add, Chuckles? Chuckles, pulling out bulb horn: HONK HONK

EricJones comments on Jun 13, 2024:

So I see trumps delivering the 6:00 news now.

WTF..........

EricJones comments on Jun 12, 2024:

Stone walls do not a prison make nor iron bars a cage-but in this case we'll make an exception.

Go figure...

EricJones comments on Jun 12, 2024:

They really need to make their serving sizes bigger.

I'm done for the day happy reading. Use these well.

EricJones comments on Jun 12, 2024:

The 30% still supporting trump don't know how to read.

Go get'em girl

EricJones comments on Jun 12, 2024:

If somebody kills trump do they become pope????

I messed that up...

EricJones comments on Jun 11, 2024:

Huston, we have a problem.

Who says the apple doesn't fall far from the tree? 🍎🙂

EricJones comments on Jun 11, 2024:

This must be from 2020. Vote for Biden to get this toxic administration out of office?

who the hell wrote this book.....

EricJones comments on Jun 10, 2024:

Don't ever point this out to christians, it makes their head explode. If ya'll think trump tells some real winners, you should hear the convoluted and absurd stories christians make up to explain this one.

Why do you all have ED then, fine wine my ass!!!

EricJones comments on Jun 10, 2024:

I love the tricked out walker, but how do you sit to enjoy the cookout? The seat is now the grill unless you like toasted buns. If 60 is the new 40, then I'm still in my prime.

Can’t wait for them to fall!

EricJones comments on Jun 10, 2024:

That second one is wrong-he doesn't have a heart.

It’s the two minutes that gets me…

EricJones comments on Jun 10, 2024:

That's one damn fast exam. That's not enough time to try "kiss it and make it better".