I want to draw your attention

EricJones comments on May 9, 2024:

If she falls backwards it'll be a soft landing.

Can't wait to try it!!!

EricJones comments on May 9, 2024:

My car can't go fast enough to make it up, much less over the top.

I'm doing my best...

EricJones comments on May 8, 2024:

I quit trying to fit in. Did make things easier.

Did Nazi this coming... Was it starvation or Mercury poisoning?... [dailykos.com]

EricJones comments on May 8, 2024:

Of course it's dead- there's nothing left so it starved to death.

[facebook.com] Hilarious

EricJones comments on May 8, 2024:

They're gonna get a ticket-just not sure for what. The cop has a lot of options.

Needs analysis

EricJones comments on May 8, 2024:

That's gonna take a while to sort out.

Bonus, Catwoman thinks I look cute.

EricJones comments on May 8, 2024:

Hey cookie monster-I hate to be the bearer of bad news but those cookies you've heard about-they're used.

A Jungle deal

EricJones comments on May 8, 2024:

I see Mcdonalds does happy meals for everybody.

Fcuk, what is the bad news?

EricJones comments on May 8, 2024:

That seems to be a case of the good and bad news are the same thing.

Stormy said he told her not to worry about Melania ‘cuz “We don’t even sleep in the same ...

EricJones comments on May 8, 2024:

If the state has no case, then why is he ranting like a lunatic about the judge, jury, and anybody else who he sees and thinks is against him.

DON'T! You've been warned.

EricJones comments on May 8, 2024:

NO!!! Remember when he told kim jong-un he had a big red button on his desk? He lied (what else is new), he just had the army guy with the nuclear football pull his finger

Surprise, surprise...

EricJones comments on May 8, 2024:

Didn't the kinks do a song about her a loooong time ago.

Ash Williams rides again.

EricJones comments on May 8, 2024:

Good luck going up against the armored division.

Waterproof, apparently.

EricJones comments on May 7, 2024:

As long as you wear them on sunny days when the pavement is dry-then yes.

Matt Randalls just shared this on fb…lol lol lol lol

EricJones comments on May 7, 2024:

There are days when those little things push you to your limits....

Train delay....

EricJones comments on May 7, 2024:

Something that actually eats haggis, wow.

On a Klingon ship, this would call for an assassination.

EricJones comments on May 7, 2024:

I'm the only human in my house, so I don't use a glass, I just drink straight out of the bottle.

Poor Puppy!!!!

EricJones comments on May 6, 2024:

When are they going to put a few rounds into noem.

Trumpie trio

EricJones comments on May 6, 2024:

The way he spreads manure-out of both ends by the way-he could cover the needs of half the midwest for a year.

Frankly I would love to see it happen.

EricJones comments on May 6, 2024:

YES

Me too, Melanie, me too!

EricJones comments on May 6, 2024:

Does anybody really think trump and his wife still sleep in the same bed? Who the hell would want to fuck trump. eeew, gross

The best laid plans of mice and men?

EricJones comments on May 6, 2024:

Some people just don't think about all the possible outcomes of their decisions.

Abandon all hope, you who enter here. But see if you can get them to grate some parmesan for you.

EricJones comments on May 6, 2024:

Who the hell put a camera in my kitchen vent hood????

Today is the Revenge of the Sith!

EricJones comments on May 6, 2024:

So vader and the emperor are just a couple of goth groupies, who'd a thunk it.

You can guess who!

EricJones comments on May 6, 2024:

I'm sure there there a lot of women out there would agree with that

The trump trial continues, may he rot in jail.

EricJones comments on May 5, 2024:

trump wanted a hope hickey, instead hope gave him a kick in the balls.

Did I hear a sneeze from the coffin? Happy belated starwars day, y'all!

EricJones comments on May 5, 2024:

I hope vader uses the force to give that guy better vision.

So true, so true...

EricJones comments on May 5, 2024:

At least on this planet, which is probably why nobody from other planets have tried to contact us yet. They're listening to our radio and tv signals and saying to themselves "those earth people are idiots".

Oh brother!!!! 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

EricJones comments on May 5, 2024:

He has to beat off other guys because he's too fat to find his own.

Waiting for my mom to come over.......

EricJones comments on May 4, 2024:

That kitty looks like my Tiny.

Always happens when you have just one more thing to get, and then there's a blockade surrounding ...

EricJones comments on May 4, 2024:

And the stores are making the aisles narrower to make room for more shelving to sell more stuff. Just try to find a bank branch to take the check in to deposit.

Don’t miss those days at all

EricJones comments on May 4, 2024:

Oh hell yes, I remember those days. Would take an hour to download a 5 minute video.

I hope it happens soon!

EricJones comments on May 4, 2024:

That ain't trump-box is too small to hold his fat ass

EricJones comments on May 4, 2024:

Nothing like a dose of modern reality, mom style. At least she's keeping up with all the modern apps.

Will fight for Trump but not in the army

EricJones comments on May 4, 2024:

Just more proof that the education system in this country is in really bad. Anybody that had a basic civics class on how our government works would know that super asshole belongs in a supermax, not being worshiped like some deity

It's Friday!!!! 🎉🎊🍻🍻🍻

EricJones comments on May 4, 2024:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

A divine story

EricJones comments on May 3, 2024:

I thought trump was just morbidly obese, here all this tme he was knocked up. And pukin's the daddy. I didn't know you could get pregnant just by swallowing.

Beware People. This is the way I eat my steaks 😁

EricJones comments on May 3, 2024:

It's not burnt, it's just blackened steak.

I am going to stick to my opinion

EricJones comments on May 3, 2024:

And trump is a hate filled bigot

Just when you thought the IQs of MAGA couldn't drop any lower..... The Idiocracy is upon us…

EricJones comments on May 3, 2024:

Wearing diapers over denims proves your an idiot. Diapers go on the inside to catch everything, otherwise you just shit your pants.

Safe for women

EricJones comments on May 3, 2024:

Just what does a horny train sound like anyway?

MUGA it is then...

EricJones comments on May 3, 2024:

trump must be livid given that he wants all aid to Ukraine cut off yesterday.

easy now, one at a time

EricJones comments on May 2, 2024:

Instead of raiding whole villages they just head to the village drug store and raid it.

VonShitzInPants

EricJones comments on May 2, 2024:

trump's hawking depends now too??? What's next-gas masks?

here we go again !?!

EricJones comments on May 2, 2024:

Math and alternate facts have a tendency to clash.

Boomers'' moms.

EricJones comments on May 2, 2024:

I think mom's being a bad example. Is groot about to unload a ball of sap?

Good morning! I'm awake too early!!!

EricJones comments on May 2, 2024:

Given his size, if kong put his in hers she wouldn't be screaming in ecstasy.

How I really feel about trump...

EricJones comments on May 2, 2024:

You won't get an argument from me.

What can I say?

EricJones comments on May 2, 2024:

Are the top two women related to each other? Actually, my ex was with somebody else wondering why she left. That's why I avoid nude beaches.

I had to search for more memes!

EricJones comments on May 2, 2024:

I love the redneck lawn sprinkler.

They do tend to be a little chewier, but the fiber content is off the hook.

EricJones comments on May 1, 2024:

Better put the knights in an isolated room or you're gonna get a lot of complaints about the door to door pot salesman going through his wares.

When you contact employees on their day off

EricJones comments on May 1, 2024:

At the beep leave a message and I'll get back to you at some point in the far future.

US medical care....

EricJones comments on May 1, 2024:

That's partly why I retired after 43 years in hospital pharmacy.

Let's rename some animals

EricJones comments on Apr 30, 2024:

My dogs put their front paws on my legs and stand there, my cats stratch at me or just meow at me a lot, my birds usually have a bowl of seed and pellets at all times and get a bowl of fresh fruits and veggies everyday.

Like Cerberus, but you use corn for the sop.

EricJones comments on Apr 30, 2024:

I see jesus was hanging out with the hookers again.

OK.... that explains it!

EricJones comments on Apr 30, 2024:

Not about to argue with that one. He's right and that's that.

Go figure...

EricJones comments on Apr 30, 2024:

Groan, although points for a good effort.

Thought of the day...

EricJones comments on Apr 30, 2024:

If you're driving an econobox it should be ok-not enough room to properly swing the ax.

Women are more inspired by religion

EricJones comments on Apr 30, 2024:

I guess this doesn't apply to priests and other high ranking male members of christianity

Wait for the green lice.

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

Weeellll,she did answer his question.

Guesssss who?

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

I'd keep him on life support just to let him hear the word rejected.

That's how it goes

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

It's not stressful, it's just the hours you have to keep.

AI got almost right

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

"Ice cube dead ahead."

Grandpa Munster is back

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

Al Lewis did make a run for congress from new york back in the 80's. Didn't make it past the primary, if I remember right.

You want to get yours?

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

Somebody get too close to the string trimmer?

Safety is Job 1

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

How about pepsi?

What a guy for his gal

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

Your girlfriends first day on the job and you're just watching? Get in there and then you can both get paid. Everybody can use some extra income.

A little explicit, don't you think?

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

Talk about getting drilled.

Where is the engineer?

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

At least you can't drop the phone in the water.

What advice would you give to this fly for the new life it's about to have in London?

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

Head to the nearest put and grab a Guinness and Jameson.

I got it, got it

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

And tomorrow he gets fitted for a hearing aid.

Not going to wait for the lottery

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

With a body like that-your wife didn't pick you for your looks.

The meal is next

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

Taking pictures of her food to put on-line?

Good morning everybody

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

It's John Belushi from animal house.

God answers

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

That should be putin next to fatso.

It's ridiculous

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

Is that the mother-in-law house that's in the backyard?

National Elections are going on in India.

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

If that's the reward I get for voting, I'm gonna take that roll of "I voted" stickers and plaster them all over me.

One can only hope...

EricJones comments on Apr 29, 2024:

With the cost of college these days, don't think about having a spare room quite yet.

It's my birthday and I can laugh if I want to! 🎉🎊🥳🎂

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

And you know he's gonna get fried.

Don't we all know!!!

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

Biggest being measured by body weight or volume of issues?

Where do I swipe my card, dude?

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

https://www.bing.com/maps?osid=e71ea65e-3b95-4ea6-a029-0fb100e790ba&cp=40.803591~-75.605356=11=348.54794&pi=-0.8807089=x&v=2&sV=2=S00027 these are a few blocks from my late girlfriends house in palmerton, pa.

34 points to level 8

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

Well, I guess that's one way to get off a mailing list.

54 points to level 8!!!

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

Damn short honeymoon.

Michell made it level 8

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

She's about to get a shower, and from what I've heard baseball players say, that stuff burns when it gets in the eyes.

Exactly 💯🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

If it's trump you'll have a stinky bubble bath.

We were always lied to! 🙄😂🙄😂🙄😂🙄😂

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

I wonder if those things rusted from the inside out.

I gotta go, having my son come over for dinner!

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

So that's where caviar comes from.

I have to agree!!! 😂😂😂

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

The desert is littered with those.

294 points to level 8!!!

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

Because they did the same thing when they were little-I did.

481 points to level 8!!!

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

After he gets popped in the face a few times, it'll look like a Jackson Pollock red phase painting.

Ground him!!! 😂😂😂😂😂

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

If your extension cord is a little short-just have him stick one finger in an outlet and hold the plug with the other hand.

598 points to level 8!

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

If he has his phone you just might find yourself on you tube-in a bad way.

678 points to level 8!

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

Maybe it's his sister-ya never know.

Bob 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄😂😂😂😂

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

If that were Westworld, that wouldn't work.

736 points to level 8!

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

Yea, but it's still funny. Like that cartoon with the sheep dogs and wylie coyote.

Quote of the Day! 😂😂😂

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

Looks like he missed his nose and hit his eye.

Or a least begging and whining to?

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

And don't worry, he'll miss every important milestone in your life. Why you ask? See above statement.

Heed this warning before it's too late

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

They're trying, and making good progress too.

Not often but it has happened

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

Wait till you get the munchies, you'll weigh more than that.

834 points to level 8! I was a level 9 before I lost my old account! 😞😞😞😂😂😂😂

EricJones comments on Apr 28, 2024:

I gather he's making compost.