The beauty inside

EricJones comments on Oct 30, 2019:

Telling her she's beautiful first might increase the odds of getting to the inside.

Boris put down lol

EricJones comments on Oct 30, 2019:

She's right.

Think about it

EricJones comments on Oct 30, 2019:

Even more so when you look at the cost of negligee and how long it gets worn.

Had it....

EricJones comments on Oct 30, 2019:

Right now I'm half and half.

Proud grandpa

EricJones comments on Oct 29, 2019:

I like that one.

More cheese.

EricJones comments on Oct 29, 2019:

Cute.

This one is attributed to Dorothy Parker, not sure if it has been verified.

EricJones comments on Oct 29, 2019:

Who cares, it's still a great and very true quote.

That is funny

EricJones comments on Oct 29, 2019:

People who live in glass houses... or as the bible says "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone". Gee- I actually found a use for that stupid book.

Now thats a prize

EricJones comments on Oct 29, 2019:

Great idea. I wonder what would have happened if he had won a second.

Remember when this wasnt true

EricJones comments on Oct 29, 2019:

Me too. That's why Pennsylvania has closed most of the state (mental) hospitals-they're either in Harrisburg or Washington.

Sounds like she is having a good time

EricJones comments on Oct 29, 2019:

Maybe she has a lisp-ya never know.

Outmoded concept but funny

EricJones comments on Oct 29, 2019:

It's not my fault. :(

If you've ever been here, you know.......

EricJones comments on Oct 29, 2019:

At least they're honest.

One of the trials of life

EricJones comments on Oct 29, 2019:

I should hang that on the wall at work.

Good question

EricJones comments on Oct 29, 2019:

Home depot didn't think that one through.

That damn cat lol

EricJones comments on Oct 29, 2019:

I wonder if there's a plate out there that says vrgn-lvr?

You know that is some funny shit right there 🤣🤣🤣

EricJones comments on Oct 29, 2019:

I'm amazed the fans didn't bring rotten fruits and vegetables and have target practice.

Oops sorry kitty

EricJones comments on Oct 29, 2019:

That cat won't eat for a week.

Good costume

EricJones comments on Oct 29, 2019:

I want to make a poster out of that and hang it in the pediatric ward and emergency room at work.

Smart ghost

EricJones comments on Oct 29, 2019:

As Dracula once said- "I vant to suck your... HOLY MAMA"S! The hell with your blood-get that shirt off-hurry, I haven't got all night."

Superhero problems

EricJones comments on Oct 28, 2019:

5 cans of cat food and a bag of kitty litter every week.

The crony media will never show you this

EricJones comments on Oct 28, 2019:

I thought it was 72

Oops didnt expect that

EricJones comments on Oct 28, 2019:

Weather she really is or not doesn't matter-it's making him think you are that gives you time to get away.

Ludwig Feuerbach - “Man created God in his own image.“

EricJones comments on Oct 24, 2019:

Because if you said god looked like a tree frog you would get laughed out of town and your religion would die then and there.

Bill Hicks - “Eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God’s infinite love.”

EricJones comments on Oct 24, 2019:

A paradoxical statement if there ever was one.

Anybody hungry?

EricJones comments on Oct 24, 2019:

And 9 months from now she'll be in the same position screaming "why didn't you get Chinese take-out instead?"

I can see god in this pumpkin

EricJones comments on Oct 24, 2019:

It's gonna need a lot of lubricant...

Just in time for halloween

EricJones comments on Oct 24, 2019:

Good one.

Cooking with Gordon!

EricJones comments on Oct 22, 2019:

That sounds like some of the language I sometimes use when I'm cooking-but with a different tone of voice.

Oldies but goodies: 1.

EricJones comments on Oct 22, 2019:

Some real good golden oldies in there.

It's a miracle 😂

EricJones comments on Oct 22, 2019:

That's what happens when you believe in the bible and not a proper education.

amazing microscope photos - [businessinsider.com]

EricJones comments on Oct 22, 2019:

Interesting pics. Amazing what's there that we can't normally see.

Some are afraid of ghosts, some are of the law while some are of......

EricJones comments on Oct 22, 2019:

He's afraid of reality and the truth.

Was with Jessica..

EricJones comments on Oct 22, 2019:

Anatomy class homework?

If god ever actually gave a sign

EricJones comments on Oct 22, 2019:

Is that to one person in particular or just to humanity in general.

Ok, NOW they're heaven-bound......

EricJones comments on Oct 22, 2019:

Long ago I was running on the sidewalk and somebody did that to me (with intent-he swerved) and didn't see the cop about 100 yards back- and the lights went on.

My dog likes to pretend he wants to play, next thing, you’re dinner...

EricJones comments on Oct 22, 2019:

I would change the sign to cat food- for the moment I have more cats than dogs.

Hard to pronounce

EricJones comments on Oct 22, 2019:

I usually manage to dredge up a viking zombie or two.

Poor fly depressed

EricJones comments on Oct 22, 2019:

A teeny tinny prozac and everything will be better.

Good one😅

EricJones comments on Oct 22, 2019:

Too true.

R. W. Emerson

EricJones comments on Oct 22, 2019:

Then according to Ralph, I've succeeded

A suggestion

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

Needs ice cream, crushed peanuts and chocolate sauce and a bowl.

Talk about clueless!

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

She's too young to know the album art, or for that matter vinyl, cassette tapes, or 8 track tapes.

This is a statement of fact.

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

Sounds like me.

And my heart says "MORE"!

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

Damn right-the more the merrier.

A al capachino

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

Now that's a good barista.

Hahaha !!!

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

The show is over by 9:30 because lights out at the nursing home is 10.

Who wore earth shoes?

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

I just threw mine out a few years ago.

My brother had one of these, never liked them. 🎃

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

My glasses made it hard to wear a mask and my mom made a lot of my costumes.

Good Times 🤔

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

As long as it wasn't long distance it never showed up on the bill and nobody knew it ever happened.

Fox News reports.

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

Doesn't she change the bedding once in a while?? That kid is not a newborn-he's at least a year and all that time she's never once looked at the fillipin mattress? Really?

the technology challenged

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

My watch should be on that list.

This figures

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

Is he printing out his tweets (or in his case-twits)?

How about this? Careful to unzip your 😋😁👖

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

That's why they make skivvies.

This is so funny...

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

If that doesn't scream redneck, nothing does.

Very funny oops

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

Interesting idea,although it might be a bit of a problem if you just had a baby.

Sen. Bob Corker, "Unlike many of my colleagues, I do not dislike Ted Cruz, I hate him"

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

At least he's being honest, which is rare in Washington these days.

When you take her for Mexican food....

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

A bean burrito and beer bash can have nasty results.

Best one of these

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

I like the road crossing signs that say "slow pedestrians". I prefer the fast pedestrians-much more of a challenge.

Let sleeping dogs lie.

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

He needs a bigger chair.

Lookout this guy

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

That's a good one.

Good night my friends - hope you enjoy

EricJones comments on Oct 21, 2019:

My dogs say the same thing as #4. Although I put the cats food on the bar(so the dogs don't eat it first), nobody is allowed on the food prep areas

Do you like pumpkins?

EricJones comments on Oct 20, 2019:

Pumpkins are gourds, she has watermelons and a bad back.

Rod Serling had to come back from the dead for just one more episode of.... The Twilight Zone!

EricJones comments on Oct 20, 2019:

Both feet are in his mouth-his head is in the twilight zone and his brain is up his a--.

Get no argument from this group

EricJones comments on Oct 20, 2019:

How many kids does he have without the marriage bit?

My thoughts too!

EricJones comments on Oct 20, 2019:

Needs ranch dressing and some shredded cheese and it should be good to go.

Hmmmm, delicious

EricJones comments on Oct 20, 2019:

They're bigger than he is.

It is past my bedtime so as I say goodnite I hope y'all enjoy a little light-hearted reading 😁

EricJones comments on Oct 20, 2019:

Fun bunch. Redneck deviled eggs are a riot.

I've lost my appetite.

EricJones comments on Oct 20, 2019:

That's not the roadkill cafe is it?

You'd better not.

EricJones comments on Oct 20, 2019:

Tell facebook I wanna know her.

Have fun at the reception?

EricJones comments on Oct 20, 2019:

She just found out what the groom really looks like...

Today I heard from a very religious family member that you are very miserable and have no reason to ...

EricJones comments on Oct 9, 2019:

A long time ago a Billy Joel song said "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints, the sinners are much more fun". He's so right. Most religions consider anything fun is a sin and is to be avoided at all costs. Go out and party your butt off and send her pictures of all the fun and joy on everybody's faces.

Lmao doesnt exist

EricJones comments on Oct 9, 2019:

The saints are no damn fun. Turn that boy to the dark side and get him to loosen up.

Ever happen to you

EricJones comments on Oct 9, 2019:

Every damn day.

Would pay to see this

EricJones comments on Oct 9, 2019:

Religious people have no sense of humor.

Do you often feel tired and troubled by sleep problems?

EricJones comments on Oct 8, 2019:

My sleep problem is called work-it keeps interrupting.

For the cat lovers (I am one).

EricJones comments on Oct 8, 2019:

I have one that once in a while pees in my lunch bag.

Is this your good day, or your bad day?

EricJones comments on Oct 8, 2019:

For me it's a good day-it's my day off.

Paul Ehrlich

EricJones comments on Oct 6, 2019:

He's right.

Redneck road repair

EricJones comments on Oct 6, 2019:

"We also tape down houses during tornado season. Need your windows taped to prevent flying glass? We have you covered-literally. Don't have the time to paint your house? No problem. We'll even give you a matching roof and driveway. Just call Eds quickie fixie and we'll take care of the rest. "

Presidential history...

EricJones comments on Oct 6, 2019:

The face is the wrong end.

Some of my favorite comedy is when they stick it to religion.

EricJones comments on Oct 6, 2019:

Amazing how a religion that professes to love everybody is the biggest excuse for hatred.

Some interesting demographic information in these 13 maps. [vox.com]

EricJones comments on Oct 6, 2019:

On the first map-I live near the middle of the circle and I'm dragging that number way down. Aside from that, interesting maps.

Im gonna say 2 girls 1 cup

EricJones comments on Oct 6, 2019:

Something with a happy ending (and no blood).

Completing a nagging chore is deeply rewarding. How about you?

EricJones comments on Oct 6, 2019:

Oh hell yes. I usually take a week off in the fall and just go crazy, inside and out. This year I couldn't because my hospital was merged (head stomping really) and I worked 20 out of the last 23 days, so I'm just picking off the smaller ones for now. Can't wait to do the big ones.

Im on my way for an inter-Island hopping, and abruptly there are two choppers hanging around ...

EricJones comments on Sep 29, 2019:

China's national day is tuesday. They may be advertising to get everybody ready for it.

Share your cutest pics of your doggies or friends' doggies or doggy images found online for my ...

EricJones comments on Sep 27, 2019:

Mischief and his sister Jaya at grammys house for christmas/new years 2012 and their mother Pebbles in the back seat on the way home a few days later.

Poor lady

EricJones comments on Sep 27, 2019:

She should head butt him-with those head spikes she should be able to do some damage

Yup the whole world

EricJones comments on Sep 27, 2019:

From what I read in the paper it was dead silence. Of course he thought he brought the house down.

His cover girl

EricJones comments on Sep 26, 2019:

He really needs to try a more natural color. I'm sure crayola's 64 color box has something he can use.

Good point

EricJones comments on Sep 25, 2019:

It's her planet, she has every right to yell.

Sign seen at Planet Fitness, "Lunks grunt, drop weights, & criticize"

EricJones comments on Sep 25, 2019:

You won't see anybody at planet fitness lifting that much weight either. If I'm right,that's about 400-450 pounds.

Great halloween decoration

EricJones comments on Sep 25, 2019:

Pumpkin plumbers butt.

Would freak me out when drunk

EricJones comments on Sep 25, 2019:

Wow, that is a piece of artwork.

Excellent question

EricJones comments on Sep 25, 2019:

Ivanka was doing the same private computer email breach that Hilary did and not one word about her doing something wrong.

She has a point

EricJones comments on Sep 25, 2019:

Really.

Question: When having sex, are you quiet or loud?

EricJones comments on Sep 24, 2019:

Happy.

Good morning all

EricJones comments on Sep 24, 2019:

Where can I get one.

I thought This was funny?

EricJones comments on Sep 24, 2019:

If he were smart he would get the hell out of there before it happens two nights in a row.

Hacking squirrels

EricJones comments on Sep 24, 2019:

So that's how they do it.